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It was an extremely disturbing memory. A shaky moan spills past my lips: “Ahh…aaahhhh…”
What filled me to the brim during that memory is spine-tingling fear. And I feel the same visceral reaction to the girl in front of me.
“U-Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!” I spin on my heel and run as fast as I can. I bolt from the room and slam the door behind me. The bang snaps me back to my senses.
What the hell am I doing?! Why am I running away from Yuuri?! That’s Yuuri in there! Not that “monster”! Telling myself that doesn’t stop me from shaking. Fear, anger, and malice boil up from the depths of my memory. Just as it’s about to crush my mind—
“Ghh!” Sharp pain rips through my head. “Guh! AGH! GAAAAAAAAAAHHH!” I hold my head and scream. My voice echoes through my skull. My thoughts are muddled by the severe pain.
What the hell is this?! I’ve never—
—felt anything—
—like this until now.
Wait! Is this—
—radiation damage?!
Is it because I’ve entered contaminated zones too many times?!
It feels like something is poking its nose around in my brain and scrambling it. The pain spreads throughout my body and squeezes my stomach in a vise.
“GHH! GAAAGHH!” I throw up. Since nothing’s in my stomach, all that comes up is stomach acid mixed with blood, and it splatters all over the passageway. My consciousness is quickly fading away.
(My memori)es were shatt(ered bac)k then and my past self’s—
—memories—
My--…
……
“—A-Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” I scream again and force my consciousness back into place.
My awareness and memories have become discombobulated from the unbearable pain. There’s red vomit at my feet.
What the hell just happened? What was I doing?! I dig through my chaotic memories and instantly realize I was looking for Yuuri. Damn it all! If I’m this screwed up because of radiation damage, then Yuuri is in serious danger! I can’t leave such a frail and fragile girl in this dangerous place for long! Worry for Yuuri is all that fills my mind.
Something strange happened to me. I get the feeling my past memories returned for a few seconds. And I have this nagging sense I felt an entirely different emotion toward Yuuri, but all of those irrelevant feelings and factors have been blown right from my mind.
“Yuuri! Where are you, Yuuri?!” I bellow as I search the inner ring. But she’s nowhere to be found. With little choice left to me, I return to the outer ring, where I spot Tachibana and Moribe.
“Oh, Captain!” Moribe and Tachibana run over to me. “Did you find Yuuri?”
“I spotted her inside the inner ring a few minutes ago, but then I lost sight of her!”
“We’ve also had no success finding her. We secured the perimeter around the Area 4 gate so she couldn’t go through there, either, but…” Tachibana trails off. The three of us exchange looks.
“So she just vanished on us? How? Did we simply pass each other?”
“I don’t think so. What I want to know is how Yuuri even got into Area 5 in the first place.” Tachibana puts that question out there for all of us to ponder.
“Oh yeah, that’s a very good question…”
A Level 5 or higher card is necessary to open the security gate into Area 5. But all the cards we’ve obtained until now have only been distributed to Tachibana, Moribe, and myself. There shouldn’t be any other cards.
That’d mean Yuuri has been secretly keeping a high-level card from us. Why would she have kept quiet about that? I’m suddenly unsure of her motives.
Alas, Tachibana sighs to break the deadlock. “…Debating it here won’t lead us to the answer. Let’s head to the infirmary for now. It’s almost time for us to regroup.”
“What? Already?” I glance at my watch—it’s 12:35 pm, just about time for us to meet up. It appears I spent longer on the search than I thought.
Feeling a faint sense of denial over where the time went, I make my way to the infirmary with the others.
“Tachibana, the inner ring is contaminated. I’m worried about Yuuri’s health,” I inform her as we’re walking.
“It’s contaminated?”
“Yes. I told Yuuri that too. But she still ran away from me.”
“I don’t believe it. Why would she do that?”
“Your guess is as good as mine. She’s run away from me like this before…”
Tachibana drops her gaze to the floor and hangs her head.
“The AD will last us for close to another hour, but she’ll be in real danger if we don’t find her before that. I hope she’s able to get a hold of some AD on her own, but I wouldn’t bet on it.”
Tachibana doesn’t respond to me. She merely mutters “Please be safe…” under her breath and speeds up.
“Ah! Hey!” I call out to her back, but my voice isn’t reaching her. There’s something unnatural about the way she’s been acting. I slow down to ask Moribe about it. “Hey, Moribe…don’t you think Tachibana’s been out of sorts for a while now?”
“How so?”
“As if she’s not all there. She’s been like that ever since she called the deceased girl we found in the cargo lift ‘Nagisa’…”
Moribe’s face freezes. “Did she mutter Nagisa’s name again?”
“She didn’t, but she’s acting the same way she did then. What’s this about a Nagisa? How did the always calm and collected Tachibana lose all bearing like this?”
Moribe heaves a heavy sigh and quietly says, “I really don’t want to talk about this much, but…I’ll tell you, Captain.”
“I’m listening.”
“Nagisa is the name of the lieutenant’s little sister. She passed away more than ten years ago. She was her precious kid sister.”
Her reply takes my breath away. “She died? How?”
“A gas explosion took out the apartment complex they lived in while the lieutenant was at work… Nagisa would be around the same age as Yuuri or the girl who died by the lift if she were still alive.”
“So Tachibana sees her kid sister in those girls…?”
“Yeah… I’m pretty positive Lieutenant Tachibana still blames herself for being out of the house when the accident happened. Even though she’s not the least bit at fault for it.”
I shift my gaze forward to Tachibana. A heavy past weighs on those slender shoulders as she picks up the pace. She suddenly looks back at us. “What are you both doing? We need to hurry.” Her expression is back to normal, so we respond to her the same as usual.
“Yeah. Sorry for slowing down, Tachibana.”
“Roger that. Getting the lead out, ma’am!”
I jog after her, all the while hoping I can become a pillar of support for my squad members who are being haunted by painful pasts.
✦ ✦ ✦
▼ 12:33 pm
Area 5, Outer Ring
Infirmary
WE arrive at Area 5’s infirmary first, and Miss Ena and Ukita show up not long after. But no one found Yuuri. So we lost sight of her after all.
I lower my head to the dispirited group. “…I’m sorry. I basically let her get away.”
“It’s not your fault, Captain. Everyone who looked had the same result,” Moribe says in my defense.
“Isn’t it actually Captain Kasasagi’s fault?” Ukita throws out there. “I really have to wonder about his innocence in this.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well, this has been bothering me for a while now, but…didn’t Yuuri always act like she was scared to death of you?”
I can’t deny I sensed the same thing.
“Excuse me, Mr. Ukita, but would you care to clarify that?” Tachibana inquires, as if she hadn’t noticed it herself.
“None of you saw it? The poor girl was practically shaking in her boots every time our captain here so much as said a word to her.”
“She was…?”
“Furthermore, she made herself scarce while we were searching Area 3. I always suspected she left to get as far from you as possible, Captain Kasasagi.”
Tachibana clenches her jaw at that revelation. Moribe intervenes on my behalf. “Hold your horses, Mr. Ukita. I agree that she showed signs of fear, but…survivors tend to become extremely frightened during a disaster.”
“Hmph. Think what you like. But what do you have to say for yourself, Captain Kasasagi? Do you have any idea why she acts that way around you?”
“N-No…,” I say in an unreliable, weak voice.
I don’t have any concrete evidence to refute his suspicions. Did I do something horrible to Yuuri before I lost my memories?
“How can you be sure about that, hmm?” Ukita presses. “And while we’re at it, how did you even lose your memories?”
“H-How am I supposed to know?”
“Amnesia caused by external trauma typically fades with time. Yet you show no signs of recovery after all this time—don’t you find that strange?”
“S-Strange how? Are you trying to imply something here, Ukita?”
“I sure am. To be frank, I’ve always suspected that Captain Kasasagi may be lying about his amnesia.”
Everyone sharply inhales.