Takatsuki Sakuna
A FEW MINUTES PRIOR to the start of the show, Sakuna was standing backstage, watching the video feed of the packed venue on a monitor and thinking about a conversation she’d had with the producer a few years back. Then the man in question just so happened to walk past with a hard look on his face, so she flagged him down.
“You sure got what you wanted, huh? Stubborn fighters who cause trouble?”
He paused for a few seconds to think, then let out a sigh. “If I could go back in time, I’d punch myself.” And with that, he walked off somewhere to give instructions to the other staff.
After that, Sakuna called over all the other group members and had them form a circle, like always. For as long as time permitted, she mulled over what to say to these five girls who were clearly far more nervous than normal. Ultimately, her first words were accompanied by a loud, melodramatic sigh.
“Impatiens really is just another dime-a-dozen girl group, isn’t it?”
The others looked at her in shock; after a beat, Ao let a snicker slip.
“Ao thinks she’s hot shit, but she’s a nobody.”
As the girl in question cackled out loud, Sakuna’s gaze shifted clockwise to Towako.
“Towako doesn’t even want to be an idol, so why doesn’t she quit?”
“Of all the times to bully us, you chose right now?!”
Next: Ran.
“Ran’s above-average looks don’t cover up her below-average talent.”
“You could have put it more nicely.”
Next: Maki.
“As for Maki, sometimes I really wish she’d keep her stupid mouth shut.”
“Harsh! Where did that come from?!”
Next: Mei.
“And Mei’s so naïve, it’s actually embarrassing to watch.”
“That’s not true!”
Then, before anyone could get sincerely hurt, Sakuna confidently pointed directly at herself. “But the one this group needs least of all is the leader. She’s so fake, it makes me sick.”
At this, everyone smiled, and she gestured for everyone to put their arms around each other’s shoulders, tightening the circle till it was even smaller than usual.
“We’ve all heard the trash they talk about us, haven’t we?”
The others nodded.
“And they’re probably gonna say more after tonight. But even if they’re 100 percent right about us, it doesn’t matter.”
Times like these, in which she had their full attention, were moments Sakuna dearly cherished.
“Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words can never hurt us. As always, we’ve got one shot at this, with or without Jul. So let’s have fun with it!”
“YEAH!” the others shouted in unison. Maybe they didn’t care if the audience heard them. They exchanged high fives until their palms hurt, and silently, Sakuna vowed to give Julia her own little trash-talk as soon as she came back.
Then it came time to start the show. The livestream was already up and running.
The dimming lights. The explosive sound effects. The audible cheers. The high-fives with the staff along the path to the stage. The rustling costumes. The hard floor. The air, trembling independent of sound.
She had experienced this moment dozens of times, but tonight, her heart raced faster than she’d ever felt it.
Normally, the seven members would line up in front of their corresponding mic stands, strike their signature poses, and grab their mics. Then they’d move the mic stands behind them, and when the sound effects faded out, the intro to the first song would play and the concert would begin.
But tonight, one mic stand remained, facing the audience. The sound effects faded, but the first song had yet to start. In the silence, the lights came up, and Sakuna raised her mic to her lips.
“Gotou Julia will not be part of tonight’s concert.”
The lack of sound was almost chilling.
“I am truly sorry to all those of you who were looking forward to seeing her, and I know this might be presumptuous, but we have a favor to ask. If you love Jul, we want you to lend us your voice and fill her absence with your heart and soul. We believe in you.”
Without waiting for the crowd to respond, the opening notes began to play over the loudspeakers. This song was a fan favorite from the early days of Impatiens’s formation, and Julia’s solo was located right after the first chorus.
The intro passed, and the A-melody transitioned into the B-melody. Sakuna sang and danced her heart out, just like she always did. She could hear the crowd chanting loud and clear. And then it came time for the chorus.
During the first line of Julia’s solo, all Sakuna heard was the instrumental over the speakers and the sound of her own heartbeat.
But a second later, she sensed something else. Two seconds later, she saw dozens of faces all jostled together, their mouths open wide. And three seconds later, she envisioned herself consumed by their swelling passion, until eventually, she felt it mix with her own.
For Sakuna, this moment was not solely resonance, or solely gratitude, or solely impulse, but all those things combined, and that meant much more to her than having a fandom that loved Takatsuki Sakuna of Impatiens. This, she felt, was what she lived for: to hold a dream in her heart, even in a world where to do so ran counter to her own survival.
She moved her lips away from the mic, and it slipped out.
“See that? It’s amazing what love can do!”