By withholding any excuses, she wanted him to misunderstand the degree of severity. So when he repeated the hand position, she timidly adjusted hers without a word. Her next shot sent the cue ball flying in a straight line.
“There you go! Very good.”
“Th-thank you.”
Of all the expressions she had learned to make, she was confident that she particularly excelled at shyness toward a guy. And as she continued to practice under Ai’s instruction, she found herself thinking that maybe if she hadn’t put all her skill points in something so mundane, she might have had a few left over for billiards.
Targeting a specific pocket chosen by Ai, she took shot after shot, but couldn’t seem to hit the cue ball into it. So overpowered was she by the lingering feeling of failure that the one time it did miraculously go in, the success barely registered. She realized now that she was not a good fit for the game. Secretly, she felt a similar disconnect toward bowling.
“Let’s switch to something where you can play too,” she suggested, not even trying to hide her waning interest. But instead of taking offense, he thought of a different way for them to practice. He was protective like that.
This time they were apparently going to practice with the colored balls scattered around. In the process, it was decided that Akane would take a crack at the esteemed break shot that contributed greatly to her mental image of the game. Her first attempt, formed with a reasonable level of concentration, somehow happened to fly straight toward her target. But it lacked strength, and its collision with the rack of stripes and solids achieved little more than a rattle.
“Jeez, this is hard…”
Slumping her shoulders, she passed her turn to Ai. But though he could have used the opportunity to make himself look cool with a flashy shot, he opted first to give advice.
“I think it’d help even you out if you try to pay attention to the position of your legs, like this. When I hit the ball, I imagine myself pushing it, not slamming it.”
Only then did he take his stance and, with firm momentum, push the white ball into the triangle of colored cousins. Through some law of physics, each ball went rolling off in its own direction, and one fell into a pocket before either of them could even try to go for it. Akane wondered if this was what happened to the human body in a car accident.
“Yes, that’s exactly it! So…who taught you how to play originally? Were you on the school billiards team, Ai-san?”
“It started in high school, when I made friends with an older student whose rich dad had a pool table in his house.”
“Whoa!”
“We’d hang out there all the time, and at one point we started playing for ci—soda. I didn’t wanna lose any bets, so I had no choice but to get good.”
“You said you don’t do crimes as a grown-up, but you definitely broke the law as a minor, huh?”
“I said soda!”
“Okay, but you’re still not supposed to gamble!”
“Trust me, now that I’m an adult, I don’t even play pachinko. C’mon, Itobayashi Akane, it’s your turn. Don’t worry about the numbers yet. Just try to go for whichever one you think you can get.”
“Okaaaay…”
With that lazy response, the second round of practice began. Sadly, it didn’t manage to awaken any latent skill in her. Ai still supported her passionately, and the time they spent together was precious and sweet. He had to have realized she wasn’t cut out for this, and yet…
“Starting to get tired?”
She thought of a response to his concern, decided it wouldn’t have a negative effect, then proceeded to say it aloud. “I’m just having fun hanging out with you.”
By all accounts this was the essence of what was in her heart. And yet, the moment it left her lips, its purity was sullied by the need to be liked seeping into her tone. It was received with a toothy grin, and she wanted to die all the more.
“Nice of you to say, kid, but you should know that kind of talk will get you called a guilt-tripper.”
“I’m a guilt-tripper now? Isn’t it, like, objectively good to be as open as possible?”
Hypocrite, she scoffed at herself.
“Yes, I agree. But with your pretty face, guys your age will get the wrong idea.”
“Pretty face? Don’t be silly! I’m just average! Even my boyfriend says he likes me for my personality over my looks!”
And every time he said it, she would bite her tongue. Granted, she didn’t much enjoy being praised for her looks, either. Both her quality parts and their stellar assembly were owed to the genetics she received from her parents. Weight management and makeup she only learned in order to be liked.
“Great, now the little teenager’s bragging about her love life. Look, he’s probably just too shy to admit it. If not, kill him.”
“Don’t be so dramatic! Does your partner compliment your looks?”
“Nice try with the trick question, but I already told you over email that I’m single. Anyway, uh…I’m getting a craving, so I gotta step out. Take a break until I get back.”
As Akane’s eyes widened, Ai reached into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled pack of cigarettes. Wordlessly, she waved goodbye, carefully sculpting her face so it would flash through his mind while he was alone.
Before he left, he dutifully pointed her to a couch where she could sit as well as a vending machine. No amount of performance could stop her from getting thirsty, so she decided she would buy a drink.
She watched Ai disappear across the room. As she continued to stare in that direction, she spotted a guy in flashy clothes walking the same way. Idly surprised by the number of smokers around there, her gaze followed his trajectory in reverse, to the point where he must have originated. There, she found a group of what looked like college students, smiling and looking in the direction their friend went.
Then she made eye contact with one of them…and that was when she realized.
Once she had put two and two together, she gathered her stuff and walked in the direction of the vending machine in the corner, where she bought a small bottle of tea, then bit her tongue in advance.
She could already see where this was headed.