Chapter 6: Hesitation
“LADY Yuura. What happened? Ahh—”
When Leila saw Sei escorting Yura back to her room several hours later, she shrieked. The color drained from her face when she saw how exhausted Yura was from crying. She practically dragged Yura off Sei’s back with the three other ladies-in-waiting.
“Don’t touch her!” Leila shouted. She knocked away Sei’s hand as he tried to hold Yura up.
“…”
However, Sei silently pulled his hand away. He was used to this kind of treatment.
The raven-haired lady-in-waiting gave an awkward bow. Then the women hurried Yura into the room with them.
As he watched them go, Sei thought, So that’s…what happened…
He was surprised after he heard Yura’s explanation. She had visibly withered, as if she’d forced herself to say everything she’d kept bottled up.
With a voice so composed that it surprised him, Sei began to speak. He’d nothing but this little makeshift space to offer her.
“So…how about we do this?”
Each day, by the time the sunset bell rang, they were to meet at the Spring of Rudra—his little garden of solitude.
“I don’t know what I can do for you. But for now, let’s review what we know so far. We may find some clues.”
Those words finally helped Yura take a deep breath and stifle her tears. She nodded so vigorously that he feared her head might fall off, then he wiped her tears with his cape.
Well, it certainly is a handy piece of fabric.
He could hear voices inside the room. It was the ladies-in-waiting from earlier talking. Giving in, Sei turned to leave.
There’s nothing more for me to do here. Anything else would be out of character for me.
Then he stopped. At the same moment, a thought occurred to Sei and he turned back.
I have no idea what I should do.
He was at a total loss.
It was like striking at an invisible enemy you knew was there but couldn’t see.
In silence, his anxieties began to creep up on him.
There’s no other way to handle it.
Sei had no choice but to let it go and leave.
✦ ✦ ✦
YURA once again found herself floating in that dream.
There was neither sound nor time in this place. The only thing Yura saw was her own floating consciousness. The edge of a world. A place of both beginnings and endings.
Yura sprang to life immediately, like a computer that’d been left on in standby mode until someone hit a button. As soon as she awoke, her mind was racing.
Flustered, she traced the threads of her memory.
This is a bed.
The bed in the room I’m staying in.
She recognized the canopy and the room’s layout.
I see. So I’m back here again.
But how?
She’d been so hysterical, to the point where the tears wouldn’t stop. She was so pitiful, but Sei had offered her a shoulder to lean on.
The sun had long since risen by the time she left the garden.
If it wasn’t a dream…
The way that honey-colored hair felt so close. Those narrowed eyes that seemed at a total loss. The way his palm had gently comforted her as she’d sobbed uncontrollably.
Even if it was nothing more than an illusion, she felt the littlest bit of comfort in that moment. Like she had finally been able to shed something she’d carried for so long.
“—Sei!”
She instinctively called out, leaping up from her bed. The second she moved, a dull pain shot through her leg. She gasped at the pain and realized someone was walking toward her in broad strides. The curtain was yanked open.
Yura’s eyes grew wide. Leila was standing there with a furious look on her face. At least that was how it looked to Yura.
She shrank back, ready to be scolded, and started to apologize. But Leila lunged at her. She squeezed her.
“Ah…”
Yura was taken aback as Leila held her close.
Yura could tell she was shaking a little.
“Lady Yuura…”
Yura’s eyes widened. She couldn’t believe it. Leila was crying. The other ladies suddenly surrounded her.
“Lady Yuura…I’m so relieved… Thank goodness you’re all right…Lady Yuura…!”
Yura blinked. Everyone else’s eyes were red and swollen. Leila trembled and Yura embraced her back.
I did it again, she thought. This is by far my greatest sin so far. To put these people who cared for me through so much.
“…Sorry, Leila. I’m so sorry.”
Yura closed her eyes.
I haven’t changed. I’m so pigheaded and self-centered. I wish I could just get my pathetic life together…
Her eyelids grew hot. Guilty over her own uselessness, she fought back tears and apologized over and over again.
✦ ✦ ✦
YURA sipped the briny tasting tea in silence. Each sip helped calm her nerves and improve her overall mood.
If I had one superpower it would be that no matter what happens, I always cheer up after crying it out.
Leila had been standing stiff and awkwardly the whole time. Every time the cup drained, she’d stiffen.
Yura heaved a sigh. Leila had refused, despite Yura’s repeated insistence, to sit down.
We’re so close in age, but I guess, since we’re master and servant, we’re different
“I’m pleased that it seems Lord Fareeja did not attempt anything,” Leila suddenly muttered, causing Yura to spit the tea out of her mouth. She coughed and quickly pulled the cup away from her lips.
“Th-That’s horrible!”
Leila’s eyes were wide.
“What do you mean, ‘nothing?’ What would he have done?” Yura asked.
Resigned, Leila put down her cup and straightened her posture Never taking her eyes off Yura.
“You seem so terribly exhausted…”
She exhaled and stood from her seat. “At any rate,” Leila continued, “please abstain from such activities in the future. His Majesty might notice and take issue as well. So…”
“R-Right…”
Yura shrank back.
So, this was a lecture after all.
Leila turned her back on her. Then she approached the table and looked back again.
“I have something to return to you.”
Yura looked surprised.
Something to return to me? Something was sitting on the table. It turned out to be a wooden box. The corners were reinforced and it had a key attached. Yura blinked.
But when she opened it, she recognized it right away.
It was her school uniform, along with everything else Yura had had on her when she first arrived.
“Oh, these?” Yura smiled.
When she picked up her phone, her watch with its broken hand, and her bike key, her heart throbbed in pain.
They were such ordinary objects yet seeing them made her anxiety skyrocket.
She felt a precious bond and a sense of familiarity. As she gently closed the box, Yura realized why they’d returned her belongings to her in a lock box. These were things that didn’t exist in this world. Things that were clearly alien.
“Aren’t you going to ask me anything about it…?”
She could hear her voice cracking. Leila and the other ladies said nothing and gave no response.
After a silence that lasted an uncomfortably long time, they all exchanged glances and smiled.
“I beg your pardon. But they are rather mysterious objects.”
“……”
“But you still don’t have your memory back, do you, Lady Yuura?”
Yura was silent, merely staring back at Leila. She seemed the same as always. She placed her hands together and gazed at Yura like a pretty cat.
There was nothing in her eyes that gave Yura reason to be afraid.
“And also,” Leila said as she smiled and shrugged her shoulders a bit. “No matter how strange these items are, that doesn’t change the fact that you’re you, Lady Yuura…”
Yura’s eyes widened at those words. Leila peered back at her.
Yura smiled. Something warm welled up inside her.
It felt like sunlight shining into a room that’d been closed up tight for a long time.
A broad grin stretched across Yura’s face. It felt like the first time she’d smiled out of actual joy in a long time.
“…Thank you!”
Leila was taken aback. Her face instantly grew bright red. Yura gazed at Leila, who’d now pressed her hands to her cheeks, then at all the other embarrassed ladies.
I don’t belong here. Even my body has been warped by the mirror. But I can’t worry about that right now. I need to figure out how to make things work for me in the moment.
Yura grinned. Standing up, she hid the box under her bed. Leila blinked at her. “I’ve something I have to do. Just one thing that can’t wait.”
Fixing her shawl, Yura headed for the door.
“Lady Yuura, where are you going?” Leila followed her, concerned. Yura opened the door, then looked back over her shoulder.
“I’m going to see Ashes,” Yura said.
Leila’s eyes widened.
Everyone there looked taken aback.
“Why?”
“Not that it’s a problem…”
What if I’m stuck here—
I don’t want to think about that. I don’t.
If she had to be here, this was something she had to do. Leila’s eyes boggled.
I have to take care of this and soon.
Somewhere, a bell rang.
I need to talk to him about this whole marriage thing.