Chapter 15:
The Light’s Destination
I JUMPED IN THE DARKNESS. In a fit of confusion, I looked around and tried to make sense of where I was. Before I realized it, my left hand was faintly glowing. That instantly brought the old obsession back.
Oh, no, this is never going to work. I haven’t managed to change anything.
Obeying the dictates of my panic, I made a call with my left-hand phone without carefully checking who I was calling and begged through tears.
“Please…Yukari will die if you don’t do something…”
I felt the gasp on the other end. But before the other party could speak, I hung up.
My heart rate was out of control. I wanted to depend on someone. I wanted to ask “me” for help. At this rate, sooner or later Yukari was going to—
“No. Don’t run, me.”
That’s right. Do you want to do it all over again?
I breathed shallowly and fast as I attempted to calm myself. After I managed to get a grip, I looked around the room. It was mine. The clock on my desk showed the date of the night when I first got a call from “me.” I turned the TV on to be sure. Seeing myself reflected in the dark screen for the first time in a good while, I chuckled to myself. Yes, this was that night. The night preceding the day I told Yukari she should go to America.
Apparently this day was the branch point after all.
Was I being told to do it over from here?
No, I wasn’t going to do it over. Nothing had even started.
I couldn’t change Yukari’s fate. I wasn’t qualified to do so. The only one allowed to change Yukari’s fate was Yukari herself.
What I could do was… yes, I could support and assist her as a friend. No matter how much it hurt, I didn’t think I was allowed to do anything further.
Anyway, I had my own fate to confront, just as Yukari did.
All right. I wouldn’t run anymore. I might accept help, but I wouldn’t run. I’d go forward.
I breathed in a long breath.
And I hit my left hand against the window glass.
There was a loud clunk, and the glass radially shattered. Cracks branched, forming a spiderweb pattern, from where I’d smashed the window. Feeling a searing heat, I suppressed the cry that came to my lips and looked at my bloody left hand. I felt it pulsating as if it was my heart, as it drenched itself in warm, red blood. It didn’t glow no matter how I tried to make it.
Good.
From beyond my room, my mother yelled, “Manabu? What was that?”
I tried to yell back just as loud, but in the end, I answered with a voice with the huskiness of years of disuse. “Uh, sorry. I fell and broke the window pane.”
“What?! Manabu, what’s wrong with you? Are you okay? You didn’t get hurt or anything, did you?”
“No, I’m fine.”
Having said that, the bleeding was really something. Maybe I should have gone to the hospital. Or to Yukari’s? Either way, I needed to have Yukari do something about this cell phone. It might be my left hand, but I’d better make it so I couldn’t use it too easily. This power was too great.
Feeling dizzy, I sat down on my bed. I put my hand on my head. I realized that my memories were steadily fading. It was only natural. The mind of a single human couldn’t handle the memories of infinite worlds. Until now, I’d made use of interference with my cell phone so that the infinite brains of the infinite “mes” could manage the information. But now that my cell phone wasn’t working—now that I’d stopped it of my own will—my quantum interference ability had returned to that of a normal human being. So all my memories were disappearing, except for those that could be supported by a single person’s brain. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say that all the surplus was being snipped away from me? It was a bit sad—I had experienced so much with so many people, after all—but maybe I could reconnect to them when my cell phone was fixed?
Wait, wait, wait…
“Hey! Manabu? Are you listening to me?”
I felt tired, as if I’d just come back from a long trip—and sort of cold.
Why not sleep?
That seems like a good idea. Just sleep. Then I can write it all off as a dream. When I wake up, I’ll be myself again. Just sleep…
“Hey! I’m opening the door… Aaah! Manabu? Manabu!”
“Jeez, Mom, what time do you think it is? I’m trying to sleep.”
“You idiot! Honey! Call an ambulance! We need an ambulance…!!!”
And so I was rushed off in an ambulance, still wearing my embarrassingly feminine pajamas. I wish it had all been a dream.
✦ ✦ ✦
So, it’s time to end this story the way I said I would.
It was all a dream. A very, very long dream.
But now I have to wake up. In fairy-tale terms—well, I’m not the type to be the princess—but I got kissed.
It feels good to doze, but I can’t lie around forever.