Chapter 6:
Exams
THE NEXT DAY, AYAKA AND I KILLED SOME TIME in the university’s smoking area. It was our second semester of our second year, so we had some free time here and there between lectures—free periods, so to speak. The most sacred right of a university student is the ability to decide how to spend your own free time.
Now, as I extolled this blissful moment of peace, I noticed that Ayaka was acting a little different than usual. She had her arms folded tight across her chest as she leaned against a wall, exuding an unapproachable vibe. Her beauty already made her hard enough to approach. If we weren’t already friends, I’d be getting the hell away from her.
“Hey, is it just me, or are you in a bad mood today?” I finally asked.
“Mm. Same as usual.”
“No way, not from where I’m standing. See, aren’t I convincing? That’s my perspective as a guy who’s known you for—”
“Oh my god, shut up already.”
She interrupted me before I could finish telling my joke to lighten the mood, and I was forced to apologize instead.
“I’m sorry.” With a sigh, I added, “Try to cheer up before our next lecture, okay? Aren’t you trying to sell yourself as someone that anyone can be friends with?”
“I’m not ‘selling’ myself as anything, but fine. I’ll be more mindful. I appreciate your concern.” She brushed me off and turned her attention to her phone. I could tell from her finger movements that she was playing some kind of game, but her heart wasn’t in it.
She lost in no time. As she hit the retry button, I decided to pry a little further.
“What happened?”
Ayaka shot a glance my way but quickly looked back. This time, she hadn’t denied that something was wrong.
Something had to have happened, and whatever it was, it was making her unhappy. I just didn’t know if it was about last night or something else. A normal friend might have stopped there, but I was no normal friend, so I decided to press further.
“Out with it, already.”
“Do you have no tact whatsoever?”
“I left that in my mom’s womb.”
“Then crawl back in there and start over as an embryo,” she snapped back as she left the smoking area. Left without a choice, I crushed my half-finished cigarette into an ash tray and ran after her.
“Hey, I’m sorry.”
“I’m not mad. Besides, lecture starts in twenty minutes.”
“You’re not usually the kind of person to go in early to get a seat.”
“It’s different on test days. I’m serious.” She continued walking apace, entering the school building and pressing the elevator button. When we went inside, it was just the two of us.
University elevators were big, and they traveled quickly. But it still meant being in a closed space for some time, so the smell of cigarettes sticking to me happened to linger.
Ayaka took advantage of the opportunity to scold me. “You should really quit smoking soon.”
“Why? Who cares what I do with my body?” I pouted a little at her out-of-nowhere remark.
“It’s not good for you.”
“Sure it is. You can have surprisingly intimate conversations with people over a smoke. Older students in particular.”
Smoking did come with a lot of unnecessary expenses, and my wallet wasn’t exactly bursting, so it would be better if I did stop, at least in a financial sense.
Of course, I knew smoking had more downsides than upsides, including the damage it did to the body. But you’d be surprised by the number of upsides. Smoking helped me cope after Reina and I broke up, and like I said, it expediated conversations with my seniors.
The elevator door opened, and we arrived at the fourth floor where our lecture hall was. As I vacantly watched the display show the elevator going down to the first floor, Ayaka suddenly spoke up, “Well, let me just say that it doesn’t suit you.”
“Seriously?”
“Smoking and Hasegawa Yuuta do not go together.”
“Don’t just repeat yourself with different words!” I would’ve argued if she just said it was bad for me, but this was different.
I wasn’t interested enough in fashion to go looking for brand-name goods, but as a university student, I still cared about my appearance. Her saying smoking didn’t suit me was perhaps the most damning of all. Now I really needed to re-examine whether this habit was right for me after all.
“I don’t think Shinohara would like it, either. Most girls don’t.”
“I mean, I don’t smoke at home. I’m not sure I’ve ever smoked in front of her at all.”
“You make it sound like she’s always at your place.” Ayaka groaned and rolled her eyes.
She basically is, these days, I complained inwardly.
“So, why the bad mood?”
As I repeated this question, she tilted her head back at me. “You’re stubborn. It’s rare for someone to be so pushy without being scared of me disliking them for it.”
“Doesn’t sound very nice when you put it that way. But can you blame me? It’s bothering me. Besides, it’s not like I’m any old acquaintance.”
We’d known each other for some four or five years now. We weren’t in love, but that didn’t make our friendship any less special.
Ayaka didn’t disagree with that point, either. Rather, she sighed in resignation. “It’s because of exams. I’m feeling a little on edge.”
“Oh, no. Are you in danger of failing?”
“Don’t lump me in with idiots like you. I’m always like this.”
“Hey, no need to be that mean!” I retorted.
For the first time, she smiled a little. “Okay, I’ll tell you if you want, but I sure would like a café au lait from that vending machine there…”
“Okay, and?”
Ayaka said nothing. She simply gazed longingly at the vending machine.
“All right, fine.” I reluctantly took out my wallet and bought a hot café au lait.
It fell with a clunk. I retrieved it and threw the can to Ayaka, who scrambled to catch it.
“Jeez, at least tell me if you’re gonna throw it,” she complained.
“Why? You caught it just fine.”
“Hmph. Thanks.” She huffed, opened it, and greedily guzzled it down. It was pretty funny to see a young woman gulping down hot coffee with milk.
After throwing her empty can into the trash, she finally told me why she was in such a mood. “People keep asking to see my notes when they don’t come to lectures at all. And they never even give me anything in return.”
“Like money?” I asked, though I knew that wasn’t what she wanted. As expected, she glared daggers at me.
“Not what I want. People offer, but they only want to give me five thousand yen or something. If you think about that in terms of time spent, it’s a pretty crappy wage.” The dam had finally broken, and Ayaka began to vent more and more. “I mean, if you want a favor from someone, offer an equivalent exchange. Take notes for me when I can’t go to class or something. That’s why you can never give those bums the time of day.”
I could infer that she was mostly talking about men. It would be hard for her to refuse requests like these because she wanted to maintain her people-pleaser image. I didn’t remember her acting that way in high school, so this was a new burden for her in university.
There’s one problem, though…
She ranted on, “I’m spending time in class that they’re wasting goofing off, so why should I have to give my notes to people for nothing in return?”
I’m one of the people bumming notes off of her.
I’d say I was just not a morning person, but it’d be more accurate to say that the reason I often missed classes was my self-indulgent lifestyle. Whenever I missed class, I borrowed her notes. Even when I went to lectures, her notes were better than mine, so I borrowed them anyway. I’d never once offered her an equivalent exchange, as far as I could remember.
Guilt roiled inside me.
“You know…” I timidly started to apologize. “I kind of knew this was the issue, deep down, but hearing you say it has really made me feel awful. I’m sorry. I mean it.”
Ayaka blinked in confusion. “What? You’re fine, though.”
“Huh?”
“Don’t apologize over nothing,” she laughed.
“Wait, why is it fine when I do it?”
“I dunno. Guess I benefit just from giving them to you.”
I tried for a moment to understand, but I couldn’t. So I cleared my throat and asked, “What? What’s that supposed to mean?!”
“It means I get to use you for whatever I want, because you’re always indebted to me, silly.” She smirked and headed into the lecture hall first.
I made a mental note to never buy her a meal again.