I lay in bed, unable to move.
Today was the day of a mixer my friend had invited me to. I’d agreed without much thought to help the numbers work out, but now that the day was here, I so badly didn’t want to go.
My body didn’t want to move. I considered canceling last-minute. But I had to consider the position I’d be putting my friend in. Not having an equal number of people on both sides would be rough. I didn’t care about what some random guy would think, but I didn’t want to trouble a friend.
“Hmm… Should I go?” I reluctantly moved my body, feeling so heavy that I could barely drag it up, and went to the mirror.
A few days had passed since New Year’s. It was the same as any other morning, but the words “new year” lingered in everyone’s minds, putting them in a better mood than usual. Television channels still put their best lineups on, for instance.
I glanced at my phone, which was in the middle of popping up several new messages. They were silent since I had it on Do Not Disturb mode, but this happened sometimes.
Happy New Year! You guys know that new movie coming out? I can’t wait for it! How about you, Mayu?
Knowing the sender, this message wasn’t worth responding to right now. I typically left these bothersome messages for when I was in a decent mood, so I could deal with them all at once. It was better for my mental health.
After washing my face, I felt a little less lethargic. I took some primer out of my makeup drawer. As I dabbed coin-sized bits of it onto my face, my unwillingness to go outside lessened. If I could just make it through today, I’d have no plans on the horizon for a while. I’d finally be able to relax. With that optimistic take on the situation in mind, I dabbed foundation onto the primer.
How long ago had I started considering makeup a fundamental part of my appearance?
In high school, at least, it didn’t make much difference to me whether I wore it or not. How easy it would’ve been if I just kept believing that people who wore it were a little extra-mature and people who didn’t were just normal.
When I got to university, I realized that everyone was wearing it, so I followed the crowd and started putting it on every day. How I felt about it changed day to day. Today, it felt like more of a chore.
“Ughhh, what a pain,” I groaned aloud.
I didn’t back down from the task, though. I considered myself cute even when I didn’t use makeup, but there was no doubt that the additional effort helped. My pride as a woman wouldn’t let me go out in front of men without giving it my all.
As a final touch, I applied light-pink lipstick, then I started getting dressed. I wasn’t particularly excited, but I still put some effort into selecting an outfit. It felt less like I was picking clothes for a date and more like I was choosing armor for battle.
I was late, so I rushed out of my home and power-walked to the station. Along the way, I realized I was wearing sneakers. Part of me regretted not wearing heels since I’d gone to the effort of dressing up, but I quickly shooed that thought away.
If that didn’t occur to me before I left, then it just meant this mixer didn’t mean much to me. If I was on a date with someone I liked, then I would’ve spent a lot of time trying to pick the heels with the perfect height.
“Someone I like, huh…”
I hadn’t felt a clear interest in someone like that since all the way back in elementary school. It was so long ago that I only remembered that it had happened, rather than what it actually felt like. But recently, I’d found someone who I saw differently than other men.
“I wonder if he’s free today.”
If the mixer is boring, I’ll just leave midway through.
I opened an app and sent him a quick message.
Happy New Year! I wanna come over today. Can you leave a key in the mailbox for me?
It was a really audacious message. If a stranger saw it, they’d probably cringe.
I instantly received a reply: HNY. Sure.
It was blunt. No emojis or anything. Why, then, did I feel a real warmth along with it?
After a few seconds of thought, I sent him a cute LINE sticker I’d bought recently. My previously heavy footsteps lightened up a little.