He said nothing for a while. Then, turning his head down, he said, “Listen, Shion and Marie. You are not to speak of this to anyone else. I’ve said the same to the villagers. What Shion has done is beyond the capabilities of a child. If word were to get out…something bad could happen.”
I didn’t understand why he said that at first. Then I started to catch his drift. In relatively undeveloped worlds like this, someone who did the impossible would often be labeled as a malicious force. They’d be labeled a heathen or a witch—beings that were capable of extraordinary powers were weeded out and persecuted. In earth’s history, countless persons had fallen victim to such acts.
If word were to spread about a child who had the knowledge and intelligence of an adult who also possessed mysterious powers, it would endanger me and everyone around me.
“No matter what happens, I am your father,” Dad continued. “I will do everything I can to protect you. I’m here for you. But there are some things that you must not do, or that will not be received kindly. Others in this world will be too happy to turn on you. Do you understand me, Shion?”
“As in, those who are special in some way could be persecuted?”
“Just so. I don’t want that to happen to you. That is why you must remain silent about what happened yesterday. It is a dangerous power you have. You must stop your research at once.”
Marie immediately shot up. “Dad, no! Don’t you know how hard Shion has been working? Without him, Mom and I would’ve both died! You can’t have him stop researching magic—”
“It’s dangerous, Marie. I cannot permit it!”
“You don’t know whether or not it’s dangerous!”
“If it is, it’ll be too late once we know! Any power strong enough to slaughter a monster is dangerous. There’s no doubt about that!”
Everything Dad said made sense. As a child, I had killed a monster. It was only natural to view such a power as hazardous. Having used it to save Mom and Marie wouldn’t change his outlook as a parent.
I appreciated Marie’s attempts to defend me. Dad was on a different wavelength here, though, and not having it.
Emotionally, I wanted to disobey his command. I knew that if I did keep researching magic, that it would only cause him endless worry. It also risked that an actual incident happened. The power of magic had already been shown to the world. There would be a limit to how much longer I could guard its secrecy.
My family mattered so much to me, but researching magic was my greatest passion. It was my purpose in life. I couldn’t just stop pursuing it.
I’d live, of course, but giving up magic would be tantamount to giving up on life. I’d just be going through the motions. Everything would be boring. I’d be dead inside.
It’d be easier to accept if I thought magic didn’t exist at all. Having discovered the possibility was there right in front of me, I couldn’t just let go of it.
“I won’t be stopping my research,” I told Dad.
“Shion! Are you saying you will disobey my order? Why don’t you understand?!” His face flushed with anger. I understood his anger. I was his child standing up to him.
I would not back down. This was the one thing I couldn’t give up. I needed it. I needed it to live.
“I do understand, Dad. I understand why you’re telling me to stop, and I think you’re right. But if I stop my research, I won’t be able to be happy. I’ll just be going through the motions in life. Even if it seems like a dangerous power to you, it’s everything I’ve wished for. I’ve worked so hard all this time to make it a reality, and I want to keep doing that.”
Dad appraised me. “You’re still a child. There’s more to this world, Shion. You’re set on it now, but you’ll change your mind when you grow up.”
“I won’t change my mind,” I looked Dad in the eyes. “I know I won’t.”
I had already learned during my first life that I couldn’t just go aimlessly through life. Dad recoiled from the intensity of my gaze.
“It’ll be okay so long as no one else gets involved, right? Then send me somewhere far away!”
“Sh-Shion!” Marie gasped. “What are you saying?”
“I’m serious,” I replied.
I knew that what my father said made sense, but he would not change my mind. I wasn’t a normal kid. I could wait until I was an adult, but if I gave in now, I doubted Dad would ever encourage my magical interests later. I decided the time to take a stand was now.
Dad looked dumbfounded. He didn’t seem mad, rather a little sad and lonesome.
“That’s how badly you want this?”
“Yeah,” I said.
“It could be very dangerous. You showed that it has the power to kill monsters. I have no idea what it is. We don’t even know if it really exists. It might end up taking your own life, Shion.”
“I know all that.”
“Others might not accept what you do. They might ostracize you. You still want to pursue it?”
“I do. I’m determined to. You can disinherit me if I cause our family problems. As a parent, that’s your responsibility.”
Marie was about to say something, but she fell silent again when I looked at her.
I was 100 percent determined. Yes, my family mattered to me. I cared so much about them. However, I could not deny that my whole life—my essence of being—was based on magic. I’d lose myself if I threw that away. So, I was willing to exile myself to spare my family if my research somehow impaired them. I was prepared to do that.
Yes, I loved them, but I couldn’t throw magic away. This is selfish of me, I thought. It was, but I couldn’t change the person I was. I stood firm.
Dad took a slow breath.
“I see. You’re that determined, are you?” He carefully laid his eyes on me.
“Fine. Continue your research.” He nodded generously. “But you will report all of your discoveries to me. If you discover anything dangerous, I will put an end to it, and that’s final.”
“That’s all? I can keep going?!”
“You’ve given me no choice, boy. You’ve shown impressive determination and I can’t overlook that. I never expected to hear such words from a seven-year-old. When I look into your eyes, I can see as a father and as a man that there’s nothing I can say to stop you.”
Dad sighed deeply and all the tension left his body. He smiled at me bitterly. When I looked at him, I felt a sharp pain at the bridge of my forehead. I never expected he would actually understand me. I thought that I was about to face a future where our relationship degraded until he finally disowned me. I was aware of those risks and what a hard life it would be. For magic, though, I would’ve risked death.
Fortunately, my ironclad will had convinced my father. I bowed my head in gratitude.
“Sit up, son,” Dad said. “You have found your path in life and you must follow it all the way through. I’ll do what I can to help you. That is, after all, my responsibility as a parent.”
I looked up. I felt the tears flowing down my cheeks, and yet I couldn’t look away.
Someone held my hand—it was Marie. She still sat next to me, and she layered her hand on top of mine.
“That’s great, Shion.” Marie didn’t look thrilled, but at least she said she was happy for me.
Thank goodness, I thought.
Now, I could freely continue my research. I felt a huge pool of relief well up within me. It had been a brutal few days, but something good came of it. There were now plenty of experiments to explore. I wiped away my tears as hope sparked in my heart.