I felt a light tap on my shoulder and looked to my right. Saki was handing me the bottle she had put on the table. “Keiichi-kun, you should drink it. The mountain road was quite tough, right?”
Realizing how thirsty I was, I accepted it, opened the lid, and chugged down half the contents in one go.
Saki smiled and said, “Whoa. I’ve never seen someone drink that much at once.
“Is that enough?” she asked, pointing toward her creation.
“Yes, thank you,” I replied gratefully.
A sense of relief washed over Saki as she smiled. She then gently covered the painting with a white cloth, enveloping us once again in the colorless night.
We took our seats in front of a small table and engaged in conversation. Saki shared a range of stories with me, from tales about her roommate at the dormitory to anecdotes about the teacher at the facility she relied on. There were moments when she became exceptionally talkative. Although she tended to be reserved, once immersed in a topic, she couldn’t help but keep talking. I found great joy in listening to her stories, as our time together was truly delightful.
Saki suddenly spoke up. “Keiichi-kun, you’re a good listener, aren’t you?”
“Do you think so?” I replied.
“I do. Usually, I’m the one who listens rather than talks. I’m more comfortable in that role. But sometimes, I have this strong urge to express myself,” she said, her smile mirroring the attentiveness she usually showed her friends.
“That’s how you feel, huh?” I responded, feeling a similar sentiment.
“But is it okay? Am I bothering you?” she questioned, concerned.
“Not at all,” I reassured her. I had never once considered her voice or her stories a bother.
“Keiichi-kun, do you ever feel like doing something completely opposite of what you’re expected to do? Something that goes against people’s expectations?” she asked.
“I think so,” I admitted, somewhat surprised by my answer. The words flowed naturally from my chest.
“Maybe it’s because you’re aware of those expectations. Sometimes, you want to break free from them, but it’s not always easy, right?” she empathized.
Does the night have the power to draw out my honesty, or is it Saki who possesses that ability?
Emotions that had long been confined within me overflowed, filling my heart to the brim. “I’m the responsible older brother, the understanding one, the future captain of the soccer team. At times, the weight of these expectations feels overwhelming,” I confessed. Yet, I’ve always concealed it, quietly navigating through life, suppressing my own emotions. …Why did you ask that?” I asked, my voice soft.
“Because you’re usually the one listening to me. I wanted to hear your story, too,” she replied.
“Oh, I understand,” I responded.
Countless thoughts lay hidden within me, but I realized everyone carried their own unspoken, concealed thoughts. These were battles I could conquer on my own.
In that moment, a tender sensation graced my hair. Something was touching me. Intrigued, I glanced up and discovered her petite hand caressing my head. Her delicate touch moved back and forth, soothingly stroking my hair. As she did, I listened intently to the sound of her voice.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Hmm… Good boy, good boy,” she replied.
“What do you mean?” I inquired, curious.
“Isn’t this is what an older sister does?” she pondered.
“We’re the same age, you know,” I pointed out.
“Oh, right,” she acknowledged.
We continued our conversation, and memories of our past discussions resurfaced. A smile formed on my lips as I gently closed my eyes.
A rush of childhood memories came flooding back to me. I recalled my mother saying, “Keiichi, you’re already in first grade, so you’re like a big brother, right? Since Mom can’t come home due to work, please unlock the door, turn on the lights, and wait at home when you return from the daycare center. If Akane cries, give her a snack. You can do it because you’re her big brother.”
My response to my mother’s expectations was always a resolute yes. Deep down, I wanted to utter no but couldn’t. It became a minor trauma nestled within me. Well, perhaps it wasn’t truly traumatic. I felt a sense of fulfillment in being relied upon, yet there were moments when I longed to reach out for help. However, I kept those feelings to myself, never sharing them with anyone.
My grandmother was the only person who ever praised me for being a good and gentle child. I could vividly recall the touch of her wrinkled hand as it lovingly stroked my head.
As Saki’s tender touches reached me, a wave of nostalgia washed over me, reminiscent of my grandma’s gentle caresses. It were as if Saki’s actions were unraveling the knots within my soul and loosening my guarded heart.
Behind my closed eyelids, I noticed that one of the lights had dimmed. Startled, I opened my eyes to find Saki right beside me. I couldn’t help but exclaim, “Ah!” Her hand quickly retreated, and she appeared flustered.
If it embarrassed her to the point of blushing, she shouldn’t have initiated it in the first place. I was sure my own face was turning red as well. Nevertheless, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Thanks to Saki, my heart felt revitalized and refreshed.
“Thank you, Saki,” I expressed my gratitude.
“If you ever want to talk, just let me know,” she offered.
“Because that’s what an older sister does?” I asked.
“Yes,” she replied.
“But you don’t really look like an older sister,” I remarked, trying to lighten the atmosphere.
We shared a laugh, breaking through the initial awkwardness. I glanced in the direction of the big window and noticed the light had gone out. In fact, all the lights in the dormitory, which resembled a house from the outside, had been extinguished. The surroundings were enveloped in complete darkness.
“Huh?” I exclaimed, caught off guard by the sudden darkness.
“High school students have lights out at eleven, so it seems they’ve turned off,” Saki explained.
“Eleven o’clock?” I was taken aback and quickly glanced at the clock.
Wow, I hadn’t realized it was already eleven o’clock. How long had I been lost in thought while Saki stroked my hair?
Disappointed with my obliviousness, I slumped my shoulders and said, “I should head home,” as I stood up.
“Okay,” Saki agreed, rising to her feet as well.
Saki walked alongside me as we finished putting on our shoes in front of the shoebox. When we stood side by side again, I realized she was not much taller than me. Looking up at me, Saki expressed her gratitude, saying, “Keiichi, thank you for today.”
“No, thank you,” I replied sincerely.
“You know, today was the first time I brought a friend here.”
The word “friend” pricked my heart like a needle.
“I had fun,” she continued.
“Yeah, me too,” I responded, feeling a sense of fulfillment despite the fleeting nature of our time together. Being by Saki’s side felt incredibly comfortable.
“Yeah,” I murmured, lost in my thoughts.
“Well then, see you,” Saki said, attempting to leave the entrance. However, she followed me with a flashlight in her hand.
“What?” I turned around and asked curiously.
“Shall I walk you home?” she offered.
“No way. I’m not in the habit of being escorted by a girl,” I retorted, trying to dismiss her concern.
“You’ll definitely get lost in the woods,” she insisted.
“I’ll manage,” I asserted.
“No, you won’t.”
“Saki…”
“Oh, right. I have to go get my umbrella,” she remembered, diverting the conversation.