“Anyway, every army was a mess internally. In the German Navy right now, seamen only get one moldy potato per man per day. All while the officers eat normal meals and even drink alcohol. In conditions like those, it would be stranger if people didn’t revolt. And still, the admirals were planning to send eighty thousand marines out to a decisive battle. That’s no different from sending them to their deaths.”
“I see. I didn’t realize things had gotten so bad…”
“Russia is hoping for a socialist revolution in Germany, too. But if that happens, all of Germany could fall into a state of complete chaos. Who knows what might happen then?”
“How are things in Serbia? What happened after you took back Belgrade?”
“Things have calmed, and there’s no threat of revolution. Because Serbia persecuted and killed Colonel Dimitrijević and his followers. Do you remember that? They claimed the colonel was involved in the plot to assassinate the archduke and his wife.”
“Is that what they accused him of?”
“No. The establishment gave a different reason to purge the colonel and his group. I’m sure they wanted to put the assassination behind them so they could proceed with peace talks with Austria. The assassin died in prison in April. Serbia will once again be able to wield its might and return to the international stage.”
“That’s tragic… But I don’t feel bad for them. If they hadn’t killed the archduke and his wife, we would have never been sent off to fight. Even if the colonel and the others involved did it to avoid oppression under trialism, considering everything that happened afterward and the horrific number of lives lost, I can’t forgive their decision. They might have loved their homeland with all their hearts and gathered faithful people to their cause, but in the end, all it did was wreck Europe. The horrors committed in the name of humanity and people’s lofty ambitions sends a chill down my spine.”
Milos’s expression clouded over slightly before he softly murmured, “…If you didn’t know the Count, I’d beat you to a pulp for what you just said. Germany is a powerful nation. It could never understand the suffering of the Serbian people.”
“If you hate it so much, then why did you help me?”
“I made a deal with the Count. I told you earlier that if I helped you, Xandra would sell me medicine at an eighty-percent discount.”
“You’re the worst.”
“As we say in Serbia, you can’t have both a goat and money.”
“But, Milos, there’s no end to human folly. They talk about justice and love, but deep down they only want personal gain. The economy drove this war more than any ethnic movement. How much wealth and how many resources do you think crossed borders globally while the people holding the reins sat far removed from the horrors of war? Why do you want to become something so foolish? You’re a werewolf—something far greater than a human.”
“You sound just like the Count. I guess you two really do have the same blood running through your veins.”
“If I offended you, I apologize.”
“No, don’t worry about it.”
Milos didn’t say anything for a while, then finally broke the silence. “When I was a baby, a hajduk leader took me in. The hajduks were honorable vagabonds working toward independence when Serbia was still under Ottoman rule. They attacked Ottoman caravans and stole their goods, then gave what they stole to the Serbian people. When I came of age, I joined the hajduks and eagerly started attacking merchants.”
“As a human, or…?”
“A werewolf. The hajduk leader used me in that capacity. I operated as a beast obedient to the Serbian people and transformed into the demonic wolf to tear out the throats of Ottoman merchants and soldiers when they needed me to. They treated me as one of them, which I appreciated. Can you understand that? Monsters don’t see me as a monster. I was raised by humans, and all the monsters treated me as if humans had somehow contaminated me. But humans don’t see me as a human, either, because I change into a werewolf. I live as neither a human nor a monster. What would you do if it was you? Favor your birth, or honor those who raised you?”
“I don’t know. I chose to become a monster.”
“Yes, precisely, you choose whether to be a human or a monster, but society sees you differently. The more the hajduks looked after me, the more I wanted to be a human at heart. Then one day, we were caught in a sudden thunderstorm, and we ran into an old church at the edge of a forest. The chapel was neat and tidy, but we couldn’t find a priest anywhere. We were honorable robbers, but they must have thought we were bandits, so maybe the priests got scared and hid in a back room. There were so many candles burning on both sides of the chapel that the inside was bathed in a golden light. The building was made from simple stone, but scores of icons hung on the walls, those saints and the virgin mother looking down on us as though questioning our purity. My fellow hajduks faced the statues of the Pantocrator at the front of the chapel. They bent their ring and pinkie fingers, drew the sign of the cross with their other three fingers, and bowed their heads. Then they sat on the pews and wiped themselves dry, lit votive candles, knelt, and prayed in whatever way they wished. I was a monster, so I’d hardly ever had the chance to see the inside of a church, and I watched with rapt fascination. The gold paint on the icons’ backgrounds glittered like the sun, and I felt real warmth coming from it. Oh, how it calmed me—and a moment later I heard a voice call down to me from the ceiling.”
“What did you hear?”
“God’s voice.”
“God spoke to a monster?”
“Yes. I’m certain I heard it. It said, ‘Milos, continue fighting for yourself, keep living, and do not stop searching for what it means to be human. Do that, and one day you will transform from a monster into a real human being…’”
“That all sounds pretty dubious.”
“Think of it like a delusion. I was the only one who heard it. That God of course was not the same God humans believe in. It was a strange experience, but the words shook me to my core. I would have doubted them had a human said them to me, but they’d come from God. So I had no choice but to believe them.”
Milos’s expression softened slightly. “The true God is likely a being that would even bestow His mercy upon a monster. The sum of my actions may lead me to a path that would make me a real human. I pondered that idea and realized it holds equally true for any person.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“What does it mean to be human? Maybe if you’re not constantly asking yourself that question, it’s all too easy to turn into something inhuman. But persistently asking yourself that will just keep someone barely human. And humans refusing to ask themselves that question is what brought about this senseless war. You started as a human, so you may not understand what I mean.”
Jörg had been listening in stunned silence, but he answered immediately. “No, I understand. I understand completely.”
He had tried to abandon his humanity on the battlefield. Had he not, he could never have kept on living. The people who kept fighting were those who couldn’t give up on themselves—humans who weren’t human.
At that moment, the owner of the general store started speaking to Jörg’s corpus. “We move on Berlin tomorrow. You’ll head for the Reichstag. Some will go to the palace, but the emperor retreated to Spa in Belgium and isn’t back yet. If the government is going to respond, then the Reichstag is the best bet.”
“Don’t tell me I’m going in unarmed. The military police will have cannons and rifles.”
“Members of the Spartacus Group have guns. As do the soldiers who joined us. That should protect the people to some degree.”
“Then I’ll take a hunting rifle. I can use bird shot.”
“Do as you see fit. But the police are more likely to target and arrest you if you’re armed. Leave your gun at home if you want to avoid that.”
“Understood.”
The owner handed Jörg’s corpus a pouch, saying it contained two days’ worth of food. There was no way that tiny bag could hold anywhere near that amount, but he thanked the clerk and stuffed it into his satchel.