Once he finished telling the story of his old friend, the Count said to Jörg, “Lila probably saw her mother die right in front of her. And she must have had some terrifying memories from when she was fleeing with her father. Saying that she wants to become a spy might be her way of getting revenge.”
Jörg felt the world collapse beneath him. “Was it Germans who killed her parents?” he asked in a trembling voice.
“Most likely. She has an abnormal fear and loathing of German people. Even with her memories sealed away, they might still be influencing her. However, it’s not easy to tell if someone is purely German. A lot of Germans and Russians in Europe have some Polish blood in them. After the Third Partition of Poland, Germany and Russia established policies for reconciliation, Germanization, and Russification of the Polish people. The two countries tried to win over Poles by telling them to forget about Poland and live as Germans or Russians, where they could join unions and become valued members of society.”
“But the Polish people would never stand for that.”
“No. They were in the depths of despair, and most of them resisted this callous invitation. But in all honestly, it would have made their lives easier. Assimilating into a more powerful ethnic group creates more opportunities in life than having people point you out as a stranger wherever you go. So some people accepted those policies aimed at reconciliation, which naturally led to a period of infighting among Poles. They argued among themselves, one side asking, ‘Have you forsaken the reconstruction of our motherland? Are you no longer proud of your heritage?’ and the other side claiming, ‘We cannot live on dreams. Such archaic thinking is our enemy.’ Yet even so, some people decided to give up their roots. Nothing crushes a person like the hardships of life. No one would blame them for making that choice. Did you know the German Army is full of people who have Polish ancestry? They swear allegiance to the same nation that robbed them of their homeland and fight against the Allied powers as if it were the natural thing to do. To them, people like Lila’s father are nothing more than impassioned fools obsessed with an outdated sense of ethnic pride.”
Jörg looked up at the sky and covered his face with both hands. “And I’m just another person from that country she can never forgive. No matter how well we get along on the surface, I’ll never be able to erase the anger and grief in her heart.”
…That’s right. She’ll never forgive Germany for as long as she lives. Even knowing that German soldiers have families, that they experience unspeakable horrors on the front lines, and that they die like dogs there, she’ll never feel even the slightest hint of sympathy for them.
“That is why I asked you to be her bodyguard,” explained the Count. “When she eventually leaves this inn and goes out into the real world, whatever group killed her parents may still exist. And they could very well try to kill her.”
“Why would they?”
“Her father could have entrusted her with a certain piece of intel—or so they might assume.”
“Do you really think she has something like that?”
“I highly doubt it. Radosław traded his daughter’s memories of him to protect her. A man like that surely wouldn’t give his daughter anything that might endanger her in the future. However, his enemies may think otherwise. They might seek to eliminate Lila for fear that she will expose them for their crimes, thus the need for a bodyguard. Whatever Lila ends up doing, she will need someone to protect her for the rest of her life.
“The rest of her life…?”
“Your assignment lasts until Lila grows old and leaves this earth. Hence why I needed someone who would follow through on their word and was able to control simulacrums. This is not a job for a human body of flesh and blood. If you were to die during her lifetime, then I would need to find another bodyguard. Such is my duty due to the promise I made Radosław.”
The Count reached for his glass on the table. “That is why I want you to abandon this idea to do something about the German food shortages. It will surely be too much to do while still carrying out your duties as Lila’s bodyguard.”
“But with what I know, I can’t just sit by and do nothing.”
“It’s impossible. You must choose one.”
“I’ll look for a way to do both. There must be a way.”
“And how will you do that?”
“This body is a simulacrum, so it should be able to do things normal human bodies can’t.”
“Even with the unique abilities of a simulacrum, you must still abide by the temporal rules of this world. There is too much work and not enough time. You cannot do the impossible.”
“So you’re saying that even with a simulacrum, so long as I’m human, there’s a limit to what I can do?”
“Precisely.”
“In that case, I’ll become a real monster.”
“What?”
“If I become a monster, then I can do anything. Like you.”
The Count let out a laugh from deep within his throat. “Be serious.”
“I am.”
“At least with a simulacrum, you will die one day—but you won’t if you become a monster. You’ll exist with no connection to your corpus and will be forced to live in your own unique time frame. Monsters live for an extraordinarily long time, sometimes forever. Do you really have what it takes to live for all eternity? Can you bear watching the people around you continue to age and die while you live a life of solitude? If you can’t, then don’t be so quick to say you’ll become a monster.”
“I’ll be able to protect Lila better as a monster, though. Isn’t that what you want?”
“You don’t have to go that far. I can find any number of replacement bodyguards.”
“I wonder how Lila would feel about that.”
“What do you mean?”
“If she saw one bodyguard after another get injured, die, and be replaced in order to protect her, I’m sure she’d say that she doesn’t want anyone else dying for her. She’d say that she would rather die fighting herself than live at the cost of another person’s life. That’s the sort of child she is. A very kind, determined girl.”
“That’s nothing more than unfounded speculation. What makes you think she would say something like that?”
“Spend enough time with her, and you’d see it the same way. I’m actually more surprised you don’t understand.”
Seeing the Count purse his lips in dissatisfaction, Jörg pressed his point.
“Please. Turn me into a monster. I’ll gladly give up my life as a human to save other people. I would have died on the battlefield if I’d never met you. I don’t have a home to return to, so let me live the life I want to live. I’d give up everything to gain the power of a monster if it meant I was able to protect Lila while also saving innocent people. I wouldn’t have a single regret.”