“ARE you tired?” Shindo asked out of concern as Satsuki sank onto her sofa.
“...I’m fine,” she replied. Despite what she said, she was unable to hide the fatigue hanging over her. “It’d be disrespectful to the deceased to say otherwise given the circumstances.”
Satsuki tried to smile for him, but it came out looking pained. Shutting the door to her room, Shindo gave her a worried look.
Three days ago, Takaaki Kujo lost his life in a car wreck. There was no indication he tried to hit the brakes as his car raced into a T-intersection. A semitrailer truck crashed into him, totaling the car and killing Kujo on the spot.
It was unknown whether he took his eyes off the road or was lost in thought. Seeing as he sped into the intersection without breaking, it was initially deemed suicide.
Due to scheduling conflicts, Kujo’s wake was held a bit later than was customary. Satsuki just returned from making her appearance. The sudden death of one of her suitors was a great shock to her heart. Although she wasn’t emotionally invested in him, she had nonetheless interacted with Kujo. Moreover, he got in the fatal accident immediately after seeing her.
With downcast eyes, Satsuki stared at her hands cupped over her knees. Shindo knelt and scooped up her hands. “I realize it’s inappropriate to tell you to ‘cheer up’ given the situation, but try not to let it bother you... It isn’t as though you’ve done anything wrong,” he comforted.
“I know...” Satsuki realized he was right, but she couldn’t help but feel strangely guilty.
Her other suitors also came to burn incense at the wake. It wasn’t as if she was there the whole night, but from what she saw, the others left immediately after burning their offering of incense as if they also felt awkward. There was only one exception.
Takemi was the only one to arrive at nearly the exact same time as Satsuki and remain at the wake until she left. While she offered her condolences to Kujo’s father and business associates, she could feel Takemi’s eyes fixed on her. Yet he never walked up to strike a conversation. Not only did he refrain from speaking to her openly...he also kept from speaking to her telepathically.
“Hey, Shindo? There’s something I want you to tell me,” Satsuki said. She peered at Shindo with haunted eyes, squeezing the hands he held over her lap. “...Back when I was four...didn’t I kill...the man who raised you like his own from the time you were little?”
Shindo’s eyes widened. That memory was nothing but pain to Satsuki. It was the very memory he had urged her to forget. But no matter how desperately Shindo told her, “Please forget,” it was impossible for Satsuki to drive that memory from her mind in its entirety.
“Didn’t I ask you to forget about that...?” Shindo asked with a grim smile as he stroked Satsuki’s hair. “That was when I ‘stepped out of line’ with you.”
At the time, Shindo asked Satsuki to forget the fact they kissed along with her resurfaced memories.
“...Even though that is nothing...compared to what we’re doing now?” Satsuki asked in a whisper, spots of red painting her cheeks.
Shindo stretched up to lightly kiss her before answering, “Fair enough.”
The sight of his gentle smile filled Satsuki with joy, but she forced herself to ask the most imperative question. “Aside from that...and the incident at school...have I taken anyone else’s life?”
“What would make you ask such a thing? Of course you haven’t. Such a thing has never happened,” Shindo denied, caught off guard. A moment later, he regained his composure and asked, “Why do you ask?”
“...He said I did... He claimed...I murdered someone by playing tricks on his mind...” Satsuki confessed, tearing her eyes away from Shindo. How could she hope to look the man she loved in the eye as she spoke of the possibility of killing a man?
“Takemi Kaido knows something about me... He said that he sealed memories of when I was young, but I don’t know. I can’t say for sure... No matter how hard I try to remember, nothing comes back to me. I’ve met him before—back when I was a little girl—but I can’t even remember that.”
The first time she met Takemi, Satsuki recognized his cold, piercing eyes. She felt as though she had seen them before. Perhaps those eyes were the only thing she remembered from a fragment of her sealed memories.
“And he isn’t willing to tell you?” Shindo asked.
“...He would between the sheets...or so he said.” Satsuki smiled dryly as she mentioned the condition Takemi presented as a joke; Shindo suddenly pulled her into an embrace.
“...Then why do you need to remember?”
“Shindo...”
“There is no need for you to remember. Even if you did kill someone, those memories will bring you nothing but pain. Don’t worry about remembering that. Even if you have met Mr. Kaido in the past, that has no bearing on the present.” Shindo held her even tighter as he revealed his true feelings, “I don’t want...another man to touch you...”
Satsuki’s chest grew painfully tight as she wrapped her arms around Shindo and held tightly onto his back. “...I’m sorry for bringing up such an unpleasant topic.”
Nonetheless, these were things she had to remember. She had to learn the truth. Satsuki could feel it in her very soul.