ONLY the gentle sound of breathing echoed in Satsuki’s ears. The image of the man she loved projected against her closed eyelids. And then her lips met his warm touch.
Shindo’s lips invitingly scooped Satsuki’s tongue, floundering in embarrassment at their tender touch. He gently sucked her tongue before nipping her lower lip with the tip of his, only to trace where he nipped with his tongue. They gradually shifted their heads, adjusting the dynamics of their kisses with their lips interlocked; an occasional sigh escaped from the side of their mouths.
It was impossible to say how long the two showered kisses upon one another... Their bodies filled with passion burned at the touch of each other.
The thought that Shindo could hear her heart’s thunderous beating made Satsuki want to die of embarrassment. As if trying to put that thought from her mind, Shindo showered her with one kiss after another, filling her with joy.
She felt light in a sensation reminiscent to...intoxication. Her body was so hot she swore she was going to melt. It was followed by a natural desire. The desire was perfectly natural. She wanted him to touch her more...
Similar emotions rose within Shindo’s heart as well. He loved Satsuki so very, very much it hurt. In the face of that love, no constraints held power over him. All emotional restraints were rendered meaningless.
His body was also burning so hot he could scream. And much like Satsuki, the same perfectly natural desire was surging within him. He wanted to touch her...more...
The feelings and desires of the two overlapped in perfect harmony. So when Shindo stopped stroking her hair to slowly move his hand to her waist, Satsuki wasn’t the least bit upset. But assaulted by emotions she never experienced before, a moan escaped her lips unlike anything Shindo, or Satsuki herself for that matter, had ever heard before.
The moment Shindo heard her make that seductive sound, his body jolted with an uncharacteristic start and he hastily pulled away from Satsuki! He unwrapped his arm from around her waist, placing his hand next to her before quickly pushing himself away.
He looked down at Satsuki with wide eyes as he apologized, “...I’m sorry... I’m terribly sorry!”
It was out of character for Shindo to act so distressed. He pulled away from Satsuki and quickly jumped off the bed. Upon catching his breath, he placed one hand under Satsuki’s shoulder and the other behind her back in order to slowly ease her up.
“How do you feel...? Did that make you feel worse...?” he asked, looking her straight in the eye. Both of her hands clung to his supportive arms.
Flushed, she blinked in confusion. Her slightly open lips were left moist and slightly reddened from prolonged kissing. The expression on her face was beautiful...as if she were lost in a dream.
“No...I’m fine,” she answered in a gentle, dreamy voice.
“I’m so sorry...” Shindo apologized again. He quietly brushed aside a strand of tussled hair hanging over Satsuki’s face with his fingertips and began combing it along with the rest of her hair.
“I stepped out of line... I hope you can forgive me for what I did...” Shindo said only to come to the realization that he was more distressed than he thought. His hands were shaking.
What I did to the Miss was impermissible! I must never get lost in the heat of the moment. It’s completely inexcusable...!
Practicing self-restraint was part of his daily life where Satsuki was concerned. Whenever his emotions escalated, he reined them in and cooled them off. That was how he hit the reset button in his heart. But he wasn’t able to hit reset this time. Lost in the moment, he submitted to his surging emotions and kissed Satsuki.
He kissed the Miss! Staff must never commit any form of sexual conduct with their employers! As it was, it was taboo to harbor special feelings for his little lady...
“...Please don’t apologize...” Satsuki begged, resting her hand against Shindo’s cheek. She started tracing her hand down his jawline, coming to the very lips that guided her to that wondrous dream she was in only moments ago.
“Please don’t apologize...Shindo...” Satsuki repeated. Those lips generally assumed traits that made them appear cold and stern, yet against her fingers, they felt unimaginably soft...and warm. Just because Shindo kissed her, his mistress, Satsuki thought no less of him for harboring emotions beyond those of a retainer when he touched her. That was irrefutable proof that she harbored feelings for him as well.
Yet Shindo only held himself responsible for failing to keep his emotions in check. If only I was able to curb my emotions! If only I was able to hit the reset button in my heart like always! Then the Miss wouldn’t have humiliated herself in front of her lowly retainer. I never should have touched her in that frame of mind...
“Shindo...” Satsuki opened her lips longingly, but Shindo turned his head to avoid her gaze.
“You must be tired... I’ll go get you something to drink,” he offered. He pulled his hands away from Satsuki and quickly stood. Spinning around, he turned his back to her. “It will only take a minute. I will be right back with a cool beverage.”
“Shin...do...?”
“I think you might enjoy a carbonated beverage once every now and then. How about I bring your favorite, grape soda? Or would you prefer something else...?”
“Shindo...”
As if in an attempt to avoid confronting how Satsuki felt, Shindo kept his back turned toward her as he prattled on. “I will be certain to escort you to the greenhouse this afternoon... I believe it would be a nice change of—”
Unable to suppress her emotions any longer, Satsuki barked, “Shindo!” At the sound of his name, Shindo’s voice cut off.
It did happen... The moment their lips locked...each of their hearts filled with the same emotion, overlapping with one another.
Satsuki could feel it happen. She could tell that Shindo felt the same as her. That feeling transformed into joyous rapture, engulfing her entire body. She didn’t want this to be nothing more than her imagination. She didn’t want it to be a mere misunderstanding. She loved Shindo more than anyone else...after all.
That feeling also swept through Shindo. He believed Satsuki might share the same feelings as him. That feeling lifted his spirits to uncharted heights, giving him a sense of wholeness. He didn’t want this to be nothing more than his imagination. He didn’t want it to be a mere misunderstanding. He loved Satsuki more than anyone else. She was his entire world.
However, any open display of such affection was absolutely inexcusable... They must not love one another. They must not feel for one another. They must not touch. That was the silent command passed on the two.
“Miss...” Shindo told Satsuki with his back still facing her, “please forget this ever happened... If you’re willing to forgive how I stepped out of line...” With his back to Satsuki, Shindo repeated once more, “...please forget what happened...”
Satsuki couldn’t tear her eyes away from Shindo’s back. Why did she have to forget? Why did she have to erase this memory when it filled her body with wondrous intoxication unlike anything she ever felt before?
“Shin...do...” Satsuki squeaked, her voice trembling.
In truth, she understood. Why did she have to forget? She knew the answer painfully well. Both Shindo and Satsuki were made excruciatingly aware of why.
“Shindo, do you want me to forget?”
Perhaps a small part—just an itty-bitty part—of her was clinging to hope. She was wishing he might reply, “I don’t want you to forget.”
However, the words out of Shindo’s mouth were more or less those of a retainer. “It was a...mistake,” he said simply. It was as if that one, short sentence bore his emotions.
They had to forget what transpired. Even if it was only for a moment, their hearts were never supposed to connect. Brief as it was, their feelings were never supposed to harmonize. Acting in defiance against the silent command wasn’t an option for either.
“Very well...” Satsuki answered in a tremulous, drawn voice. “If you want me to forget...Shindo...”
Satsuki’s view of Shindo’s back began to blur as tears began overflowing from her eyes. Fighting back sobs, she rejected saying what was in her heart as she replied, “...I will forget...”
Tears slid down her cheeks. They rolled down endlessly one after the next. Firmly biting her bottom lip to hold back the sobs, Satsuki continued to stare at Shindo’s back.
“Thank you...Miss,” Shindo replied in an unusually small, weak voice.
Shindo never looked back. He fled from the room without turning back. He had no way of realizing that behind him, Satsuki shed an endless stream of tears as she swallowed her sobs.
“Please forget...” The sound of Shindo’s voice echoed in her ears on end.
“Shindo...” Satsuki’s lips moved in the shape of his name. Pressing her fingers to those lips in reverie, she could still recall his touch. As brief as it was, she thought she could melt in the joy. It helped to erase her painful encounter at school.
“Please forget...”
But she had to put this from her mind. It was not a memory she could keep.
Satsuki suddenly noticed the vase had fallen off the nightstand. The beautiful ivory roses were strewn across the floor in a pool of water. She remembered how Miharu laughed, warning her not to “abuse the bed.”
“Miharu isn’t going to be very happy with me, is she?” Satsuki said to herself. She started to climb off the bed with the intent to collect the roses.
“Please forget...” Shindo’s voice raced across Satsuki’s mind once more, stopping her in her tracks and squeezing her chest.
If she forgot, she would be freed of this suffering. She simply needed to forget all that transpired...
“I will forget, so...”
How wonderful it would be if she could actually forget. But Satsuki knew better. It was impossible. She couldn’t possibly forget.
“Shindo...” she whispered nevertheless. “...I’ll forget, so please stay with me...”
To keep from losing him, she would lie to herself. She would use her abilities to thrust everything into the abyss of oblivion. Never mind that it was impossible for all of her memories to truly vanish...