“Miss Slave, I love you. Will you marry me?”
“Oh, master! I’m so happy you feel that way about me! But regrettably, slaves aren’t allowed to marry...”
“Then as of right now, you’re free! Now that you’re no longer a slave, we can get hitched! Now, my dear, let’s—”
“Hell yeah! Free at last! Ha ha, gotcha, you *beep* piece of *beep*! You can’t even make proper conversation with anyone unless you think they’re beneath you! Who the hell would ever want to sleep with a gloomy, miserable *beeeep* like you?! You know how hard it was to pretend like I was interested in you day in and day out? Well, no longer! See ya, sucker! By the way, I’ll be taking all the gifts you bought me with me as compensation for all you put me through. I hated them all, but they should at least fetch me some good coin! Gah ha ha!”
✦ ✦ ✦
“...is more or less how Shildon got deceived and taken for everything he had.”
“That happened to Shildon?! Seriously?!”
“Urgh... Thanks for opening up those old wounds, Blade! You know how ashamed I am of that!”
“Considering all the trouble that incident caused us, I’m never gonna let you live it down.”
So Blade was speaking from experience. Yikes.
By the way, despite Blade’s exaggerated account, this was apparently what really happened: In the few days after Shildon freed her, the slave continued to act interested in him while secretly transferring the rights to his assets to herself in a way that wouldn’t violate the law. She legally stripped him of everything he owned. Double yikes.
“She asked Shildon to tutor her and teach her about the world, and through that she learned of a way she could swindle him without resorting to crime,” Blade explained.
“Even though he’d bought an expensive potion to treat her injuries,” Sekko added, “and lived with her for a whole three years afterward. Sad, huh?”
“Sekko, aren’t you just rubbing salt in his wounds?” I asked. “Shildon... Um, don’t let it bother you too much?”
“And here I genuinely believed she was an innocent, helpless girl who needed me to dote on her...sniff...” He was in the fetal position, hugging his knees.
“It was a good thing he still had money stashed away in savings,” Blade said grimly. “Too bad it was the money they’d both saved up for their married life together. She made off with that too.”
“Gaaaahh!” Shildon screamed.
To think Shildon, who was in charge of the party’s defense, would suffer that much damage! Well, it was mental damage and not physical, but still.
“Learn from my experience, Karina,” he said weakly. “No matter how perfect they seem, assume that all slave girls you see are out to get you.”
“Er, yessir. I’ll keep that in mind.”
Thank you for your service, Shildon! Your trauma will save others from that fate in the future! I salute you!
“As you can see from Shildon’s sorry state, the experience of thinking a girl liked you and reciprocating only to find out they hated your guts is really rough. So if you decide to buy a slave anyway, at least go in with the knowledge that you’ll probably end up betrayed.”
“Enough already...” Shildon moaned. Blade’s words continued to cut his friend like a knife. Isn’t that a little too harsh, Blade? Can’t you see the poor guy’s already a corpse?
“I assume you don’t have any dreams or ambitions of owning a slave either, huh, Sekko?”
“That’s right, Karina. Slaves are expensive to take care of, and they’re a lot of extra responsibility. They’re not something you can just buy on a whim.”
They weren’t just expensive to purchase, apparently—they were also expensive to feed, house, and buy clothes and other necessities for. Plus, if one ran away and committed a crime somewhere, you’d be the one held responsible. Some slaves would even use this to their advantage in order to get away from masters they didn’t like, manipulating their masters into returning them and buying a new slave instead. Whoa... So they can just keep rolling for masters like a gacha until they get one they’re satisfied with? That’s...actually scary to think about.
“Although, since you’re not in a party and working solo, buying a slave might actually be a good option,” Blade mused.
Huh? Doesn’t that, like, contradict everything that’s been said so far?
“That’s odd. Based on how the conversation’s been going, I’d have thought you’d be against it,” I said.
“Only if you’re buying a slave as a pet or for adult purposes. If you hire a slave just to help out with work, it’s a different story.”
“Wh-What makes you think that I’d want a slave for adult purposes?!” I cried out. Nonsense! I’m a girl, remember?! A purehearted, innocent girl! I’d never—
“Enough with the act, Karina. It’s too late to hide it now. Just a bit ago you had the same look in your eyes that Shildon did back then.”
“Yeah, Karina,” Sekko said. “It was obvious what you were thinking just by looking: ‘Then I’ll just need to teach her a lesson before she deceives me.’”
“Was I really that transparent back then?” Shildon groaned.
Damn. Looks like the cat’s out of the bag for me too.
“And when you think about it, any slave who shows promise in that sort of work, regardless of gender, would normally just get shipped to a brothel. That means any of the pretty ones who are still left are guaranteed to be outliers in some way.”
“O-Oh, that makes sense.” Slaves didn’t have the right to deny a proposition. And the slaves who were pros at that kind of work were probably already snapped up by brothels, so none of the more skilled ones would be left. If they were, they’d either be a rare anomaly or one with extenuating circumstances like a criminal history.
At the same time, the slaves meant to be purchased for labor weren’t likely as problematic. Of course, the fact that they had yet to be sold could be indicative of their quality or other problems, but it was still preferable, since there was at least a chance there’d be a suitable one in the bunch.
“And so, if you just want a friendly companion or servant to help you with labor, a slave would be the way to go,” Blade continued. “Especially for you, since you seem to have quite a few secrets yourself.”
“O-Oh, you realized?” Not like I was especially trying to hide it, though.
“Well, not like we’re gonna pry or anything. Adventurers aren’t supposed to butt into each other’s personal lives.”
“Actually, I’m on a mission from heaven, and—”
“I said we wouldn’t ask! Actually, why’d you tell us?! We don’t wanna get involved in something like that!”
Tch. And here I was hoping they’d help me gather the sacred treasures.
“Anyway, I’m not finished,” Blade went on. “Slaves also have a number of curses placed on them. One of these is basically an agreement of confidentiality. If a slave’s ever about to blab their master’s secrets, their body will freeze in place and they won’t be able to speak.”
“Oh, so it’s basically the same as their master ordering, ‘That’s classified information, so shut up.’ That way, the master doesn’t ever need to worry about a slave leaking his secrets, even when he’s away,” I said.
“You got it. Merchants have lots of info they need to keep confidential, for instance, and it’s handy for merchants buying slaves to help out at their shops.”
Yeah, I can see how it’d be convenient for a company to force their employees to keep their mouths shut.
“But just keep in mind, most slaves became slaves to begin with because they either committed some wrongdoing or went deep in debt. The minute you start thinking, ‘My slave wouldn’t do that!’ and let your guard down is when they’ll walk off with your wallet.”
“So even though they can be handy, don’t trust them or put your faith in them. Right?”
“In general, there’s three things you need to remember. One, assume they’re always up to no good, and only order them to do things they can’t possibly use to exploit you. Two, make sure they’re not doing anything except what they’re ordered to, and don’t give them any leeway. And three, don’t free them before they’re supposed to be freed.”
So basically, I just need to make sure I keep them in line.
“Hm? But if I tell a slave not to do anything bad, wouldn’t doing so anyway count as insubordination and grounds for punishment? Why would they do it, anyway?”
“Because slaves don’t see their crimes as bad things.”
So it’s a matter of perspective, then. Yeah, I guess a command like that wouldn’t stop anyone who steals and swindles as naturally as they breathe. Sounds like a pain.
“As I said, most slaves fall into slavery because of some misdeed or unpaid debt, but some have other reasons. Scarier ones. But if you’re gonna buy one, I’d actually go for the more dangerous ones if I were you.”
“Huh? How come?”
“Well, you seem to have quite the history yourself, so maybe you’ll have an easier time getting along with them. Depending on what that history is, of course.”
“Wow, Blade, you’re a genius!” I wouldn’t have thought of that, and it actually made a lot of sense. As expected of a senior adventurer!
“All right, then I’m gonna go buy the most dangerous, shifty, suspicious-looking slave girl I can!”
“Wait. Going right now would be meaningless.”
“Why? If I don’t hurry, someone might buy up the one I want first!”
Blade just shook his head and shrugged his shoulders in exasperation. “Slaves cost around one gold. You don’t have enough.”
Wh-What?! Tell me that before I get all excited next time!