“This scent...the sweet incense of a lady of the night! Oh yeah, that’s the stuff right there. As for the taste, I’ll check that later. Delicacies should be savored, after all.” The Goddess gingerly placed the socks in her own bag of holding like they were some precious heirloom.
That’s quite the...abnormal assessment for a pair of everyday socks. And I’m just going to pretend I didn’t hear that last part.
“By the way... Why socks?”
“You see, socks are the closest thing to the feet, and a human’s feet support them throughout their entire lives. So their socks contain their data—in other words, part of their lives. As gods and goddesses, we feed on that data, so they’re the perfect offering!”
Wow, that was a more sensible reason than I expected... Nope, a sensible individual would never utter any of that. She definitely came up with all that on the spot just now.
“Anyway, well done, Karina! Keep ’em coming! If you can manage it, get me a smelly, sweaty, freshly removed pair worn for an embarrassingly long time!”
Yep, that settled it—she was just a pervert.
“What’s that look for? Something wrong?” she asked.
“Oh, n-no, of course not.”
The Goddess beamed at me. If you weren’t aware of her—ahem—eccentric qualities, she’d probably look like a cute, ordinary girl. Or perhaps that eccentricity in itself was her divine quality?
“Oh, right—when I gave you the power to create your own pockets of space, I didn’t add in the ability to manipulate time, did I? Wouldn’t want those freshly removed stockings to lose their natural warmth, so I’ll make it so that only within your space of holding, you can control the flow of time between 0x and 1x speed. Consider it a special treat!”
“Wow, thanks a lot,” I said in monotone.
You’re seriously powering up my spatial magic for such a dumb reason?
And zero times... Wouldn’t that be, like, stopping time entirely? Didn’t she say earlier that time magic was forbidden or something? I should keep this power hidden from others, then.
“After all, if I’m gonna eat something, I’d rather it be fresh. You can even put seafood in there to keep it from going bad if you want. And if you copy the food while its time is stopped, you can treat yourself to as much fresh fish as you want!”
“Well, that does sound pretty appealing.”
“I know, right? And there are other uses too, like storing away someone else’s magic to use for later! I call it ‘Neo Magic Cylinder’!”
Uh... By any chance, did you just give me a ridiculously OP ability, Goddess?
“I really can use my magic to do anything, huh?”
“Nah, compared to my full power, that puny bit of magic I’ve given you won’t hurt anything. Even if you end up wiping out a whole culture or civilization, I’ll just rebuild ’em from scratch.”
So the power to bring the self-proclaimed God of Destruction’s entire kingdom to ruin is just a “puny bit of magic” in the Goddess’s eyes, eh? Ha ha... Yeah, that’s not terrifying at all.
“By the way, I really do appreciate how you don’t plan to abuse that copy ability. That’s another reason I’ve powered you up—to reward that good nature and spirit of yours. So keep those socks comin’!”
“If it wasn’t for that last part, I would’ve thought you were actually being sincere. Wait, you’d get in trouble with your superiors if I went around copying everything, wouldn’t you?”
“What? Of course not. I meant it from the bottom of my heart.”
Really? Well, if so, that does make me pretty happy... “Hold up, how do you know I imposed a limit on myself?”
“There are altars dedicated to me all over the town—at the guild, shops, and even the town gate—and they all have these things that stick to their ceilings called ‘home shrines.’ I can hear your innermost thoughts through those.”
I suppose that’s so you can keep an eye on your disciple more easily? Wait, so that quaint little altar I saw at Shunrai means... Eeeeeek! The Goddess saw my deflowering?!
“Look, back there at Shunrai... I’m sorry about that. You graciously gave me this body, and I...”
“No need to apologize. That body I gave you amplifies your desires, so it stands to reason you’d go wild after getting drunk. In fact, I kind of wish you’d do it more!”
“Um, Goddess?”
“I mean, it’d be boring otherwise, right? Though really it’s that it makes it more likely for you to get me all sorts of women’s stockings. Oh, who am I kidding—I just like watching! So go out there and give me some more peep shows! Oh, and it looks like your body’s developed an innate desire for socks as well—as expected of one made in my image!”
“Um, Goddess?”
“O disciple of mine, God is always watching over you!”
Apparently she’d finally gotten tired of trying to hide it. This pervert Goddess was way too carefree! And an innate desire for socks?! There’s no way I actually have an instinct like that deep within me, right?! Gimme a break!
“But you probably also have times where you want to move around all stealthy-like, outside of my supervision, right? Like for planning your eventual revenge against me.”
“No, no revenge here...but it would definitely be nice to have some privacy.”
“Then rejoice, because your prayers have been answered! Introducing Mr. Sneaky!” The Goddess showed me a palm-size statue resembling an egg on a pedestal. “By placing this consumable item in any room, you can make that room safe from the prying eyes of any god or goddess! And when using it in an open space, it’s effective up to a range of ten meters!”
“Wow!”
“Well, naturally a goddess of my level could look anyway if I really wanted to. But I promise here and now on my name as the Goddess of Space and Time that unless it’s an absolute emergency I won’t peek, even if you die inside that room.”
“Me dying doesn’t count as an absolute emergency, huh? Then just out of curiosity, what would?”
“Probably if I don’t hear from you in ten years or if my sweetheart decides to step out on me with you. Not that either of those things would ever happen.”
I was starting to get the feeling that anything having to do with her sweetheart was dangerous territory to tread.
“And so, for the ultimate privacy, here’s Mr. Sneaky! Buy now, and I’ll let you have one for 100 SP!”
“SP? Is that an abbreviation for ‘skill points’?”
“Huh? Of course not. It stands for ‘socks points’!”
The Goddess gave me an incredulous look, as though the answer should’ve been obvious, but personally, I’d never heard of any such point system.
“As you deliver me more socks, I’ll award you SP based on their quality. Then you can use that SP to buy special rewards from me! Applause, applause!”
“Yay, sounds...great.”
“By the way, those rewards include actual skill points, as well as consumable scrolls that let you learn new skills.”
“Really? Tell me more!” This sounded too important to let her overlook explaining.
“Heh heh heh, hook, line, and sinker! Very well, here’s a catalog of possible rewards you can earn. I made that myself, so treat it with care.”
“Thank you very much!”
She casually handed me a pamphlet that looked suspiciously like a full-color doujinshi. But when I opened it, it was indeed a list of various scrolls that would teach me offensive magic skills, martial arts skills, and the like, along with a hodgepodge of other goods and the amount of SP required to earn each of them. I’ll take my time going over all this later, so let’s close the book for now. Oh, what’s this? On the back of the pamphlet, it says “only good for one year.”
“Um, Goddess? What does ‘only good for one year’ mean?”
“Yeah, well, that’s your first catalog, so I’m giving it to you as a gift. After that, you’ll need SP to purchase them, so better start saving up for the next one!”
The Goddess urged me to flip to the last page of the pamphlet, where “Catalog: 200 SP” was listed, along with a crude illustration of the catalog in question.
Two hundred SP, huh... Is that cheap, or expensive? I can’t tell.