“Yeah, yeah. First world problems. You should be grateful you’re getting that much work—or any work, really. Do you have any idea how many people would kill to be in your position?” he’d scoffed.
“There’s always another new young talent out there… Times change. People’s tastes change. Just because you write something good, that doesn’t mean people are going to like it. Work takes up all my time, and I still don’t feel like a pro, even now. Before I start writing, I’m always terrified. My hands go cold and numb. I’m like, ‘Okay, I accepted the job, but can I even do it? Will the producer like it? What about the director?’ ”
Aguri hadn’t planned on telling Yoshioka any of this, but the words naturally slipped off her tongue, as if something about him teased them out of her.
“I believe it. Bet your hands are cold even now. Breaks my heart seein’ you like this.” Yoshioka’s words were tender, soothing. “You’ve got nobody to warm you up…just like me.”
“What about your wife?”
“We split up. I got a daughter who I go see from time to time, though. Cutest li’l girl in the whole world. Think you could use one of your connections to get her in a commercial or somethin’? I’d love to see my little girl’s face on the TV,” Yoshioka said absentmindedly. “She’s gonna be so beautiful when she grows up. She’s four now… Says the cutest darn things, too. ‘Daddy, I want you to be happy no matter where you go. And don’t forget about me, okay, Daddy?’ Isn’t she a sweetie?”
Aguri watched in a daze as Yoshioka wiped away his tears with his thick, calloused fingers.
Stop it, Aguri. Her emotions were getting the better of her. You know what—Yoshioka’s tears are contagious. The second he starts crying, it makes me want to cry, too, Aguri thought as tears welled in her eyes.
“Maybe you heard by now, but…,” Yoshioka said as he pushed his glasses back up, “…I bankrupted my father’s factory. Tried my hand in all sorts of different trades after that, but none of ’em went anywhere. I’m just a loser.”
“…”
“The more I struggled, the worse it got…and I ended up losin’ my house, and then my wife left me and took my daughter. I’m helpin’ a friend out with a job right now…and one day—this might be a pipe dream, but one day, I wanna get my daughter back.”
“Where do you live now?”
“Amagasaki.”
“How’s the job going?”
Aguri’s voice grew quieter. She had no idea what to do, seeing Yoshioka so upset. She wanted the old Yoshioka, the goofball who bragged that his wife-to-be was “a real beauty.” The man she practically felt like murdering, the guy she couldn’t bring herself to hate, the thoughtless simplicity of his that made her give in. She wanted him to be the same laid-back man he once was.
“Of course, I messed up. Can’t deny that. But see, there was no way to recover after the oil crisis… I did everything I could, and still…”
“Men have it rough, too.” Aguri genuinely believed that. “You’ve been through a lot, Yoshioka. You did your best.”
Life was hard, regardless of gender.
“There was nothing you could do. You take whatever life throws at you, but sometimes, things just don’t work out…”
“Thanks. You’re the only one who says anything that nice to me. Well, you and my daughter. But I’m not gonna let it end like this.”
Yoshioka interlaced his fingers and stared hard at a fixed point on the floor as he sank into thought.
Aguri dumped out Yoshioka’s lukewarm tea and poured him a fresh cup. She always kept the kettle nearby so she wouldn’t have to get out of her chair during work meetings. Not even the fragrant aroma of roasted green tea could break Yoshioka out of his trance.
Aguri wondered what would have happened if she’d been there for him. She wondered if she’d helped Yoshioka during his struggles, then maybe he would’ve been able to rise above adversity. Perhaps dedicating her entire life to him would’ve been more fulfilling than the empty success she had now.
That made Aguri start to feel that it wasn’t Yoshioka who’d abandoned her—she had abandoned him. Like a rat escaping a sinking ship, her ruthless intuition had probably pushed her to cut ties with him before it was too late.
It was hard seeing the man Yoshioka had become. Perhaps he was going to hit Aguri up for some money, and Aguri knew she wasn’t going to be able to refuse, because her emotions had gotten the best of her. She justified her quiet despair by telling herself that sacrificing some of her funds would be worth it if it made Yoshioka smile.
Yoshioka suddenly lifted his head back up, a pained expression on his face.
“Aguri…,” he started. Aguri nodded repeatedly as if to tell him, It’s okay.
Money was very important to women who worked in extremely competitive, cutthroat environments, although Aguri didn’t feel that way personally. She’d much rather give in and make sacrifices for this poor soul.
“Yes?” Aguri spoke in the gentlest voice she had ever mustered (at least she thought so) in order to make it easier for Yoshioka to open up to her.
“Going bankrupt is, well—it’s rough. Day in and day out, I got creditors comin’ over, yellin’ at me… You go through hell like that, and you quickly learn how to put up with a lot of bullshit.”
Aguri remained silent, taken aback by the strange turn the story had taken. That was when Yoshioka let the floodgates open.
“My factory got scammed. Not somethin’ ya see every day.”
“…”
“Some kinda fraudulent scheme, I guess you could say. Anyway, I reckon it’s a pretty rare case, so I was wondering if it’d make a good TV show.”
“A show?” Aguri looked at Yoshioka, mouth agape.
“Think maybe you could ask some TV network about it? I’ve got all the documents and materials you’d need. I’ll show ’em to ya.”
“…”
“Wouldn’t mind writing it myself if you could at least teach me how to write, but…ya know what they say: ‘Leave it to the experts.’ The story wouldn’t have that extra oomph if you didn’t write it.”
Yoshioka laughed, and his forehead creased like a monkey’s once more. He kept switching between you and ya, most likely without realizing.
Aguri had no idea how to respond. The first thing that came to mind was Yoshioka’s motive: Was he planning on turning the bankruptcy into a TV show and winning over the general public as revenge against the person (who Yoshioka claimed was a scam artist) responsible for his company’s demise?
“What are you looking for in a show about bankruptcy?”
“Anything, really. I just figured I’d take this story to a TV network and they’d pay me royalties for it or somethin’.” Yoshioka appeared to honestly believe that. “Or you could buy the rights from me.”
“I don’t really write legal dramas.”
Aguri said this so matter-of-factly that she probably sounded cold and distant. However, Yoshioka continued, “How ’bout any of your TV writer friends? Think they’d be interested?”
“Um, well…I guess I could ask.”
“Royalty deals pay big money, right? Think you could talk to some movie studios for me, too?”
Aguri had now lost any remaining interest in Yoshioka. She couldn’t believe that she was ever in love with the man in front of her, no matter how long ago that was.
But something about Yoshioka tugged at her heartstrings. She had no idea what to do about it, though. She wanted him to be successful and go back to being the childlike, thoughtless man who would break her heart. She never wanted to see him like this.
Aguri grew thirsty and went to take a sip of her tea, but it was too hot to drink. Her unquenchable thirst only added to her mounting frustration.