Une’s teasing voice was full of life and brimming with delight. Yuuji didn’t reply. All of a sudden, Une’s eyes were briefly met with his naked back, youthfully smooth and beautifully tanned. He still had tan lines from wearing a swimsuit at the beach that summer, so his butt was very white.
When Yuuji came back, the room was faintly dim, since Une had closed the curtains. Yuuji silently walked across the carpet before suddenly stopping.
“Une…,” he anxiously called.
“I’m over here.” Une was hidden under the sheets, so Yuuji couldn’t see her. “Come.”
Yuuji was in his underwear.
“I’m leaving,” he said.
“Why? Isn’t this why you came?”
Une’s lips were curling into the smirk of a criminal—her other personality. And she could sense his silent repulsion as well—the repulsion Yuuji felt, full of loathing for this woman who’d made him lose his composure.
“Is this not what you wanted to do?”
Une doubled down and teased him again like the sadist she was. Yuuji was furious and on the verge of losing control. He seemed about to reject Une’s attempt to stop him from leaving, but he somehow ended up collapsing onto the bed, on top of her. There was nothing covering her body.
She tried to kiss him, but he was trembling. His teeth were chattering as well.
“I love you,” she said to calm him down. “I’ve always liked you, ever since I first laid eyes on you.”
Yuuji seemed to be saying something, too, so she strained her ears.
“Me too.” His voice was hoarse. “Ever since I first saw you.”
Une was enjoying rubbing the smooth, soft skin of a young man. Yuuji nervously trembled. Even his fingers were trembling. Une had never felt pleasure like this in her life. No man, not even her ex-husband, ever made her feel like she did at that moment. Pure, undiluted ecstasy flooded every inch of her body before tapering to a point and piercing her from head to toe. Her split personality gradually came into focus until it became one complete personality.
Those words—the insult her husband spited her with—seemed to have wounded Une deeply without her ever even realizing it. But she didn’t care anymore.
Yuuji seemed to be dumbfounded, as if he didn’t know when it was over. Une changed into a thin white nightgown and opened the curtains to reveal a view of the forest. There weren’t any buildings in this direction, so she didn’t have to worry about being seen. A breathtaking sunset glow painted the expanse of trees.
Une and Yuuji lay in bed, staring at the crimson sky, and Une said, “This sunset seems to go on forever…”
“To tell the truth…,” Yuuji mumbled vacantly, “…this was my first time. I didn’t get anywhere with that other girl. All she did was touch me and I—”
“Don’t worry about that.” Une was serious. “To tell the truth, I really liked it. I’ve been wanting to do this for so long.”
“No way.”
Yuuji had a habit of saying that. It was his way of saying “Really?”
“Yes way. I could die happy right now, no regrets.”
“I’d rather not die yet. Still gotta work on my game, after all.”
Une laughed.
After it grew dark, they got dressed to go eat dinner. Une changed into a black chiffon dress. Yuuji seemed to enjoy his new job of zipping it up and closing the clasp to her diamond pendant.
Une slightly adjusted his tie and checked whether his shoes, which he didn’t seem used to wearing, were polished. It was blatantly obvious that he was wearing borrowed clothes, perhaps because of the expression on his face: one of vague superiority mingled with inferiority. Nevertheless, Une leaned into him while wrapping her arm around his, causing him to stagger as they walked, head held high.
The hallway was empty, and no one else was waiting for the elevator. There was a long, narrow window, and the bottom half of it had a clear view of the city’s sea of lights. Une stopped before the window.
“Look,” she said.
Yuuji gazed in the direction of the lights, but his eyes were welling with tears, and his eyelids were growing puffy. He suddenly moved as if he was going to push her against the wall, but he was so rough and crude about it that it was almost depressing to watch. It wasn’t clear why he suddenly wanted to kiss her, but Une understood how he felt and kissed him back. The elevator arrived, and people got off on their floor, so they stepped away from each other and got inside.
They were all alone in the elevator. Une gently wiped Yuuji’s lips with a handkerchief. There was a smudge of rouge on them; he looked upset.
Since they had a reservation, the restaurant immediately seated them at a table with a seaside view. The billowing white fog ebbed and flowed with the passage of time, revealing the city lights only to hide them once again. Once they’d finished their fish dinner, the sommelier, whom Une was acquainted with, stopped by their table and asked if they would care for some German wine.
“It’s a rare wine from Wiltingen. I’m sure you would love it.”
Usually, Une would tell him to bring her whatever, but even conversations like this left an impression on her that night, which she very much enjoyed. She jokingly put on airs and asked:
“What’s it called?”
“Scharzhofberger. It was fermented at the Egon Muller estate, which produces the region’s best wines. It has a smooth, refreshing taste.”
“All right, we’ll have some.”
The entire exchange was a joy to her. Yuuji hadn’t been paying attention to the conversation, and even he seemed to have clammed up. His eyes were glued on Une, but that didn’t make her uncomfortable at all. He must have forgotten to take his mystified gaze off her, which she found cute. Une cautiously placed her hand over Yuuji’s on the table so nobody would notice.
“Une, you’re so beautiful. I remember how beautiful I thought you were when I first saw you and how I couldn’t stop blushing,” he stammered.
“Me too. I was so red.”
“No way. You were always smiling like you wanted to tease me.”
“Only because I liked you so much.”
“No way?!”
His reaction was very childlike and a sudden reminder to her that this was real. There was no doubt that fireworks were going off in Yuuji’s head right now. There was no doubt he had no idea what Egon Muller or Scharzhofberger were, either. Une slowly indulged in the chilled wine while enjoying its apple-like, refreshing taste. Yuuji, on the other hand, was less preoccupied with the fish or wine and was undoubtedly thinking only about the starlit bed and what was going to happen in it.
Une was no different.
Such joys made her faintly freckled face beautifully glow. And yet there was still something that she couldn’t get out of her head. This pleasing, joyful moment could never be repeated. This was so enjoyable only because she was never planning on doing it ever again.
“We shall dig a large hole in the mountaintop’s black earth and bury our secret love in a coffin.”
I think that’s how Yaso Saijo’s poem went, thought Une.
“A love whereof one cannot speak, thereof must be kept silent even after the grass grows over our grave.”
Yuuji sighed as he ate the food on his plate, shooting Une loathsome stares between each bite. She nodded and smiled back at him. Their love was already in its coffin, halfway buried somewhere in the darkness on the summit of this mountain.
“I’d so marry you if you weren’t my aunt. I wish I could, but I can’t.”
“Because I’m old?”
“That’s part of it.”
“Oh, you’re gonna pay for that.”
Une glared at him until Yuuji burst into mirthful laughter, unable to hold it in anymore.
A woman who wore such a kind smile did not look like someone who had just buried her love’s coffin. Even Une herself believed that. But she never even spared a second thought about spending another night like this with Yuuji just to once again experience that euphoria. Une held that determination closely like a hidden dagger as she smiled, now able to look back fondly at her split personality. This was what made life such a joy for women.
The waiter pulled a bottle covered in droplets of condensation out of the wine cooler to pour her another glass.