I checked LINE in the stall.
I knew it—a message from Saito.
≪I heard from Chiba that we have to go shopping after school. You’re coming, too, right, Koyama?≫
Our class was also doing a haunted house. I figured that was for people who didn’t want too much attention—I just joined the shopping group since it would be mostly screwing around. I mean, it wasn’t like they were going to make girls carry heavy bags, so there was really nothing for me to do there.
≪ Let me out of it? ≫
≪ No can do, lol. We need all hands on deck! ≫
At the sports festival after-party, all the girls went together to get Saito’s LINE info. I got messages from him pretty often so I thought he was always pinging everybody, but later I found out it was only me.
Not too long ago, our class (minus a few people) went to hang out, and we ended up walking home together just the two of us. He even held my hand.
“I have a boyfriend.” I made sure to tell him then.
“I know,” he said with a nervous look on his face.
My soccer-player boyfriend had an away game. It was a refreshingly cool night. And there was something about Saito right then, cooler than when he was ultra popular after the sports festival, so I figured what the heck, it was just a hand; I could walk to the station like that.
That was all it was.
≪ I’ll carry everything, so no worries, lol. ≫
But maybe I shouldn’t have let him take my hand. I got carried away.
≪ By the way, would you wanna go to the school festival with me? ≫
I didn’t mind if people thought I was superficial, but being seen as easy pissed me off like it would anybody.
Still, not to copy Ayaka’s line, but I wanted to have a good time at the festival. Without my boyfriend, I would be kind of lonely.
I ignored Saito for the moment and pinged my boyfriend.
≪ Hey boyby. What are you up to today? ≫
He replied instantly with a soccer ball emoji.
✦ ✦ ✦
It was me, Ayaka, Saito, and some other people I never really hung out with. There were even more people than I thought, so they really didn’t need me at all.
“Chief Chiba, what are we buying?”
“Poster paint and high-quality paper.”
“Huh? Where do they sell that stuff?”
“I’m a regular at an art supply shop near here...”
Saito was chatting with the boys, as someone in his executive role would do, but then he suddenly came between Ayaka and me where we were lagging in the back.
“Hilarious. Did you hear him say he’s a regular at an art supply shop?”
“What? That’s too funny!”
I hardly even knew what you would buy at an art supply shop, and I bet Ayaka had even less of a clue. But she smacked Saito’s shoulder and laughed. I went ahead and laughed too.
“They seem like they know what they’re doing. Why don’t we sneak away and go hang out somewhere?” Saito quietly invited just me and Ayaka.
Didn’t you say you were going to carry the bags?
“Ooh! Haru, what should we do?” Ayaka wanted to go.
I was kind of tired and over it all. Friends, boyfriends, popularity. I had it all, I had gotten used to it, and I was sick of it.
Which means, basically, that I was a success at high school—quite a big one, considering how bad things were at the end of middle school. But I knew it would all fall apart if I made a single mistake, and part of me felt like being reckless and testing it.
For example, if I grabbed Saito’s hand and said, Let’s go, and we disappeared somewhere just the two of us, Ayaka would probably tell everyone that very second.
My boyfriend would show up in a panic, and I dunno what Saito would do, but I bet he would regret messing with me, and by the end of the school festival I would probably be alone.
But I got this surge of “but what does it matter?” feeling, and just wanted to be like, Grahhhhhh! like, I don’t care anymore! I can make a mess of it all and it won’t matter! High school is only three years! I’m pretty sure one of our teachers said there’s no reason to be too scared to do anything when you never know what will happen tomorrow. Even if it falls apart, you can just start over at some point. Stormy weather’s fine by me! I really just—
“Oh, right. I actually wanted to buy something at the art supply store. You two can go ahead.”
Of course I would never do something so stupid, though. Today and tomorrow will be the same as always. Of course it’s important to me.
Saito seemed disappointed as I watched Ayaka pull him away. You guys don’t have to come back today.
I pushed back my bangs, which had gotten too long, and opened LINE. I blocked Saito and opened the chat that was just me and my boyfriend.
The soccer ball annoyed me, but at least soccer was only with friends. As his girlfriend, I should be supportive.
≪ Practice your butt off (heart emoji). ≫
I wondered before I sent it if I should really put a heart even though I was upset, if I should say something about the school festival.
I had no idea I would regret being so unsure later.
“Koyama, watch out! Raaaaaaaaagh!”
A pimply kid was charging straight toward me.
Who’s this guy, again?
That was the last thing I thought in this world.