Oh, is it that again? She says something that seems to have meaning, but it’s just to score points. You can’t fool me!
We promised to visit the lake again together and parted ways.
Summer was almost over. But there was one last incident awaiting us.
My dick is gone.
No, our Dick was gone.
Kizuha said she was letting him play in the backyard, and when she took her eyes off him for one second, she lost him.
How could you lose something so important? This is why women should never be servicing dicks.
“Wouldn’t he be somewhere there’s boldgrass? Maybe another girl’s room?”
“I looked, but he wasn’t. Dick, where did you goooo?”
“I’m the one who’s ready to snap... Watch him properly—you’re his owner!”
“What the hell! You make me take care of him all the time and then run your mouth like that? You said in the beginning that we would protect him together. Go find him!”
“Look, it’s not about who is right or wrong. You’re the one who was watching him at the time. Put some thought into where he might be! This is no time to lose it!”
I went into the shed as I yelled at Kizuha. I thought there might be a clue in there.
The moment I stepped inside, I got a chill up my spine. It was the same way I felt when I sensed a high-level monster in the forest.
I turned around. Something was clinging to the wall above the entrance. It was Dick. Dick was on display like a deer or buffalo head. Looks pretty good.
“Oh, Dick!”
Kizuha was thrilled and went to try to get him down. But I grabbed her hand and pulled it back. The dick was Dick, but he wasn’t himself. He was no mere dick. My dick recoiled to warn me to stay back.
Just then, there was a dry sound like a twig snapping, and a crack appeared in Dick’s skin.
“Ow,” I held my crotch instinctively. But the crack got bigger. The body that had been so soft, warm, and comfy hardened up and split in half.
Kizuha was worried and tried to approach, but I held her back. I put a hand on my hilt.
“What do you think you’re doing?!”
Right as she screamed, something black leaped out of Dick to attack. It was reminiscent of a giant salamander with its slimy body. Its feet had sharp claws. And its eyes were like big emotionless glass marbles.
It bit my right hand. Its mouth was crammed full of thin little teeth. The pain reverberated in my bones. It burned. With my left hand, I drew my short sword and held it up over the monster.
“Stop, that’s our Dick! Don’t kill him!”
Kizuha hung off my arm. But the creature that had been Dick bit down harder. My face reflected in his dark eyes. They were eyes with no feeling or thought. They were organs that existed so the demon could attack the human reflected in them. Our love couldn’t get through.
So it’s a Trojan?
That charming, lovable guy we raised and cared for was just a wooden horse hiding the real body’s development?
Then handling it would be simple. All I had to do was bring the sword down.
Kizuha clung to my arm, screaming desperately, “You said so many times that you would never raise your hand against him! That’s our Dick, our cute Dick. Why would you try to kill him? You liar!”
A green liquid gradually spread from the site of the bite. Poison. It had converted the boldgrass into poison alphytemically. If I didn’t have Immunity to Status Effects, I would have died instantly. This thing was seriously evil.
Just looking at its eyes was enough to tell. It had a mind that would never understand humans. That’s what a demon is. I had to get it out of here, and I couldn’t let it touch Kizuha. If I didn’t kill it—
“You said we’d protect him together. We went to the lake together. Don’t kill him!”
I switched my grip and turned the point on him. I aimed right between his eyes. If I was going to do it, it had to be in one blow. I won’t let him feel a thing.
“If you kill Dick, I’m going to kill you! I’m serious! Please just stop!”
The demon’s dark eyes lost interest in me, since the poison wasn’t working, and turned to Kizuha.
I stabbed him with my short sword.
I held a flower I picked in the woods out to Kizuha where she was curled up on the floor of the shed. It was a blue flower the same color as her eyes.
“I buried him where this flower was growing, because I felt like it was your color.”
Kizuha didn’t reply and instead offered a flask to me. It was full of red liquid.
“I said I would kill you, didn’t I? Drink this—all of it. If you feel even a little bad about what you did, then drink. I don’t ever want to see your face again,” she spat, dribbling blood at the corner of her mouth.
I took the flask and joked, “You’re not going to feed me?” All I got back was a click of her tongue.
Honestly, I don’t know how long you can be in suspended animation before you’re in trouble, but before I drank I made a declaration. “I’ll drink it, but I won’t die. Because I made a promise—to Dick—that I would protect you.”
Even if drinking too much didn’t kill me, getting stabbed through the heart in suspended animation would. If Kizuha was serious, I was done for. But strangely, I wasn’t scared.
“Dick was worried about you right to the end. He told me to take care of you. He was like, ‘Kizuha is mentally unstable, her job is unstable, and she has no earning power. If you’re not there for her, she’ll have a rough time.’”
The smell of blood. Why does it remind me of death so much? To these people it’s a drug, but to me it’s the smell of dying and getting transported to another world.
This has to be a buggy item. It was probably put here on accident. God or someone’s mistake.
“Dick’s last words were, ‘Kizuha, baby, thanks for always feeding me such crazy grass powder. I’m happy I was able to stay with you. Take care of yourself and—’”
“Shut up and drink!”
Kizuha took the flask, tackled me, took a swig, and came in for a kiss. The blood flowed in. She took her lips away for another mouthful and then kissed me again. “Die,” she said. “You should just die.”
I was force-fed more poppybat blood than ever before, and we were both turning bright red in the process.
It tasted like the world. It smelled like screams. When I reached for Kizuha’s cheek, she brushed my hand away.