Back then Widge was—obviously—younger, and every bit the city fellow with a nice face. I thought he was just trying to be cool killing shrimpy demons at the entrance to the forest.
But he was actually unbelievably skilled and didn’t fall for traps so easily. He was stupidly strong, too. If you let him get two hands on his sword, there was no way to approach him anymore.
And that was the guy who pressured me to be his friend. At first I really did mean to kill him, but when I saw how stubborn and strong he was, I got fed up with it all and ran away. But he followed me wherever I went. Days in the forest, and he still came after me—even though he was a white-skinned city man.
“Come defeat the demon lord with me.”
There were any number of other things he could have said, but he had the nerve to invite the self-styled demon lord to defeat the actual demon lord.
I even told him I was the demon lord. But Widge laughed. “You can say that once you defeat the real one.”
Ahh, he really pissed me off. What did he know about me? There was no way he could understand my hate. It’s by loathing humanity and then loathing it some more that a demon lord is made. And I was already made.
But I couldn’t win against Widge. He was a real monster. I ended up asking him if he was from another world.
“Nah, c’mon. I was born out west. I have a bit of a grudge against demons, you see. I figure we gotta stomp ’em out at the root. And if the legend of the hero is true, then I’ll just get him on my team, too.”
I knew the hero. He was strong as a monster, but he couldn’t beat the demon lord, and I was able to kill him. Killing the real demon lord would be impossible. No one could even reach him.
“I heard those rumors. That he was a fake hero—and that you killed him. That’s even better. If you can kill the hero, you can probably kill the demon lord.”
It seemed I had found a true nutcase. I thought I had no idea what he was thinking, but it was actually quite simple—the only thing he had on his mind was killing the demon lord.
He would do anything to accomplish that. He would try any possibility. You probably think you’ve come this far on your own, but really it’s Widge lighting a fire under your ass.
You know? That’s fine, but whatever you do, don’t fall for him.
Well, after that we had plenty more fights, and he learned all my tricks, so anytime we went at it, I’d end up losing. I definitely wasn’t going to be his friend, though. I didn’t want to team up or trust anyone ever again. And that’s what I told him when I pushed him away. But he refused to give up on me. He wore me out.
Even if I set up traps and barriers to keep him stuck in the darkness of the woods, even if I lured out a mob of demons, he mowed down all obstacles. Gradually our relationship changed and we began to take out larger demons together, drink until dawn, things like that. We learned each other’s secrets and backgrounds, slugging each other ’til everything was laid bare.
One day after he won as usual, he had me pinned in a thicket of grass and said—
Nah, it doesn’t matter what he said.
Anyhow, I decided to team up with him. I was tired of this stubborn face-off.
And now it’s been thirty years. We’ve gained and lost companions along the way, but we’ve finally reached the stoop of the demon lord’s castle. Only a little further and Widge’s dream will come true.
Honestly, though, I don’t think we can defeat the demon lord. That guy can’t be taken lightly.
And at my age, even hatred fades away. Whether it’s the demon lord or the city people, if I can’t kill someone, then I don’t intend to. I just want to leave my mark on the world to show I suffered through life.
We’re going to be the first humans to reach the demon lord’s castle. Widge’ll be the first man to sock it to the demon lord.
Yep, if I can get him into that position, that’s plenty for me.
Do you get it, Sister?
Don’t go thinking you’re going to get the proof that I’ve lived despite nearly dying time after time for free.
I’m going to put you through hell, too. If you survive and can still make the same request, then I’ll listen.