Then she told me what happened in the forest.
She wasn’t scared to fight the demons. Widgecraft and his friends were used to it, and they were cautious, and everyone was strong. Even when they stepped past the farthest point they had ever gone, they didn’t panic, but just made their way toward the demon lord’s castle.
But Miss Haru had stopped. She refused to go any farther.
She said that once she got within view of the demon lord, she got scared.
“Of course that would be scary. It’s not your fault, Miss Haru. The demon lord is a cold-hearted demon, the strongest and most evil being in this world, enemy of humanity and God—”
“No, he’s not. He’s not like that.”
“He?”
“Sorry. I can’t say any more. I really can’t. I’m scared...to know the truth.”
Miss Haru said, “It was raining,” and started to cry. “It was cold rain, super cold. It’s probably never stopped raining there for hundreds of years. It’s got to be his—”
After that I couldn’t tell what she was saying. Miss Haru just sobbed painfully.
I didn’t know what to do, so I hugged her. When I touched her slender back, I was seized with regret for the things I said, and I started crying too.
How could I have been so insensitive as to ask her if she was sick of this place?
She’s living here so fiercely.
＊
“Nah, nah, sorry.” With tears still in her eyes, Miss Haru went home.
I apologized, but Miss Haru wouldn’t have it, saying, “It’s nothing you have to say sorry for, Kiyori,” and we got tired of apologizing to each other, so we said goodbye.
But I didn’t have the energy to go to the church (oh, and Miss Hasper was excommunicated—how awful), so I moved to the counter and had Mr. Sumo make me some tea.
Miss Haru wasn’t there, so I had to pay for it, but lately I’ve had no problem drinking tea by myself, so sometimes I come to relax on my own.
From the seat I picked I could see Mr. Sumo up close as he experimented with dainty foods.
“You’re so passionate.” I waited until he took a break before saying anything so I wouldn’t be in his way while he thought up a new cake.
Mr. Sumo smiled bashfully. “It’s my job,” he said, and got back to work.
I heard he used to hate his family’s business and never helped out. He started working in the kitchen when Miss Haru started coming and only got into cooking because she was such a picky customer—everyone from his dad, the owner, to the regulars knew that.
He had probably seen her crying just now.
I’m pretty sure they were tears over some other guy neither of us know.
“...Are you making that cake for Miss Haru?”
I realized it was maybe a dense thing to ask, but when I want to know something, I want to know, so I asked him.
“Y-Yes...” he mumbled, not pausing the work I was interrupting. “But if Miss Haru likes it, I know the other customers will like it, too. No one else has ever made food for women, so I could be the number-one chef... Well, that’s what Miss Haru said...”
Maybe as he was talking he got embarrassed, because his voice got so tiny I could barely hear him at the end.
Then I finally said it. Something unnecessary.
“Are you okay not being Haru’s number one?”
Mr. Sumo looked up.
He didn’t get angry about my rude question, didn’t answer, but just smiled awkwardly.
A pure-white finger left flour on his cheek. Without saying a word, he nodded vaguely and went back to work.
I drank my tea and watched him.
I watched his big, plump hands make delicate cake decorations. I watched him draw patterns with sauce on the plates.
Then I remembered those fingers had had sex with Miss Haru—and I shivered down there.
＊
So that’s what’s been up with me lately.
Sometimes I get depressed, but I’m having sexy times every day.
Speaking of sexy, Kiyori has been spending a lot of time alone in Sumo’s cafe lately. Lupe and I have been watching her, and when she looks at him, her eyes get sort of lusty. That might turn into something interesting.
I haven’t been back into the woods since then.
Widge invites me sometimes, but, mm, I dunno.
I’ll go sometime, but my objective probably isn’t the same as Widge and his friends’, so I might get a new team together before I try it again. I’m looking for pals I can trust with my back.
I’m not in a hurry, though. I know I’m still too low level to meet the demon lord, anyhow. And I’m still just a kid.
Oh, also, God came by for the first time in a while.
While he was fucking me, he complained that my price had gone up, and when he was done he was going to just leave, so I walloped him.
“How is Shequraso? You’re taking 100 percent responsibility for making sure her next life, her next-next life, and her next-next-next life are perfectly happy, right?” I asked, wringing his neck.
“I don’t know about her next-next life, but she did already pick her mom for her next life.”
Oh.
When I pressed him for details like if she’s rich, nice, pretty, or has great motherly morals, education, and a sense of responsibility, he laughed at me.
“Uhhh, I think she’ll be poor her whole life, and her morals and education strike me as particularly suspect. But Shequraso seems sure she’ll be happy with her.”
Huh. Is that lady really okay?
I was worried because Shequraso has a tendency to make these sorts of important decisions in an arbitrary way. I need her to be happy, for real.
So I ordered God to take responsibility and watch over Shequraso and that stupid mom of hers from now on. He did a nasty spit-take—“Boo-ha!”—and then said, “Sure, sure.” Then he laughed at me again and left.
“Well then, I’ll stop by once in a while to check up on you.”
Don’t come here, you idiot. Drop dead, God.
I chased him out by throwing a meat bone at him and then wished upon a star that Shequraso’s next life would be happy.
While I was at it, I wished for everyone in this world to be happy. And everyone in the other world.
And then I wished that my wishes would reach someone responsible and not God.
That’s it! This has been Haru from another world!