So I told him it didn’t hurt. Then he asked, “Does it feel good?”
I don’t know why those are the only two options, but I said, “Yes, it feels good,” because I figured he’d be happier that way.
“Huh? Are you really a virgin?”
Then he got upset instead.
I had no idea what to do, so I said, “I’m sorry.”
“Whoa, wait a sec. Are you serious? This isn’t your first time?”
He had been saying things that seemed to imply that it was my first time, but I thought he meant my first time with him, so I didn’t feel like I needed to correct him. I did wonder why he kept confirming that point, though.
Mr. Killak started moving his hips so fast the bed creaked. It felt like he was torturing me, and it hurt even more.
“Ah, ah, shit! What, the fuck. I didn’t know that! Oooh, ooh...!”
Then he suddenly ejaculated inside me and got all angry. “Why?! I had sex with you because I thought I was your first. And you’re a Sister, so usually you’d be a virgin!”
He put on his underwear in a huff. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I started gathering up my Sister habit.
“U-Umm, why are you angry?”
“The question is, why aren’t you a virgin?!”
Why? All I could really say is that I had been living my life.
And it’s not as if I’d done anything so horrible.
“Anyone who gets tricked this badly would be mad! I’ve been swindled—swindled! How much money do you think I’ve spent on you? Fuck. Get out of here, you slut! I never want to see your face again!”
“What? Umm, please wait. I...!”
I had barely any clothes on, but he threw me out. I rushed into the shadows to finish dressing and cried a little bit.
I don’t know why such an awful thing should happen to me. I must still be making a mistake somewhere in there.
Like Miss Haru says, I’m an “annoying woman,” so I get on people’s nerves without realizing it.
Maybe it’s all my fault.
＊
“...I see. Well, young guys can be pretty fastidious.”
“Fastidious? His room was a mess, though.”
“Not like that. I mean they like virgins. There are a lot of guys who will refuse you just for having had sex with another guy.”
When I told Miss Lupe that I’d apparently been dumped, she explained the reason right away.
I guess men are happy to be a woman’s first. Especially young men and old men.
Apparently they get customers at the brothel who prefer virgins, too, so baby-faced Miss Lupe gets asked to pretend it’s her first time. Apparently they like Sisters, too.
This is Kiyori. I’m learning a lot today.
“You wear cute clothes and come off as earnest and naive, so I guess you give the impression that you’re a virgin.”
“Really? There are lots of Sisters with boyfriends, though. Plus many of them, even ones who seem good on the surface, are actually pretty catty.”
“But they’ll still be popular. The way you all dress and talk is so pure. They know how to sell themselves.”
I don’t get it.
If we’re so popular, wouldn’t people assume many of us have boyfriends?
“So it’s not your fault at all, Kiyori. That guy was just a baby. Ahhh. If he were my customer I’d have him so whipped he’d never say anything about the state of my virginity ever again,” Miss Lupe said with a cute, mischievous grin.
I gave her an awkward smile in return. I’m still not used to the gap between her baby-face and her training abilities.
But I’m happy.
It’s great to have friends who will listen to my complaints at times like this.
Although one was missing.
“...Haru said she’s going to be taking some time off.” It seemed like it was hard for her to say, but she smiled.
I apologized for leaving in such a rude way the other day and asked her something that had been on my mind.
“Miss Lupe, do you ever wonder what you’d do if Miss Haru went away?’
I do.
I realize I expect too much from her, but she’s enlightened me about so many things, and to be frank, I respect her. After all, she’s God’s chosen hero.
If she went away, I have the feeling the world might even be in trouble. And even more than that, I think I’d be so lonely I’d want to die.
Miss Lupe probably found it strange that I asked her so seriously with such a pale face, but then she said, “Hmm,” with a smile. “I’d probably cry a ton. I’d sob and sob. But by later that day I think I’d be smiling at customers and having sex. And as I put on the act in front of the customers, I’d gradually forget I was sad. I know because I have a lot of experiences with that. I don’t even remember the face of the first guy I slept with anymore.”
...I started to really hate how stupid I am.
I was only worried about my own feelings, like, “If this happened, I would be sad,” or “I’d hate it.”
It was insensitive of me to ask her something like that right after she lost her dear friend Miss Shequraso.
“So if that day comes, I’ll hope you’ll get really sad and complain in my place. I’ll be in charge of consoling you and listening to your gripes.” Then, with her usual kind expression, she said, “You’re the only friend I have who will remember those things and say them straight out. Don’t you go anywhere, okay?”
I understood why Miss Haru respects her so much.
I wouldn’t mind being whipped if it was Miss Lupe doing the whipping.
“S-Sorry to keep you waiting.”
Mr. Sumo brought out our cute cakes.
He told us it was the new cake for spring. I remembered that I had canceled my portion the other day and apologized.
“I-It’s no problem.” Mr. Sumo didn’t get mad, but just smiled weakly as always.
I’ve heard the story of his bravery from Miss Haru and Miss Lupe, but he really doesn’t strike me as the type who could oppose the guild master’s son.
He makes great cake, though.
＊
I stop by the church once a week to pray.
Lately I’m busy with all the work that gets shoved off on me at the hospital, and I have to start my search for a partner over from scratch, so I might not be able to come for a while. I decided to pray a little longer than usual.