Chapter 3

Meanwhile, the Demon Lord and the Hero were happily messaging each other. They exchanged texts every day—mostly about trivial things. They asked the other’s ages, if they had any hobbies, about their favorite foods, what they did in their free time, how much television they watched, and whether they liked pineapple on pizza. None of these were questions that especially needed to be posited. Yet both sides continued to toss inquiries as though afraid that the conversation would come to a permanent end if they stopped. Neither had seen the other in person, but the pair had developed a friendship thanks to the internet. Their profile pictures provided a glimpse at their partner’s appearance, and the messages gave each of them a good grasp of their counterpart’s personality, even if they only had words to go off. One thing they had in common was how comfortable, even relaxed, they both felt about exchanging messages over SNS. It was as if they were lovers in a previous life separated by social position, trying to regain lost time from a tragic past in which they were denied the chance to meet. They were texting at every possible opportunity. [Btw, where are you now, Hero?] [Hmm?] [Well… You told me that you left on your journey, but I’ve been wondering how far you’ve traveled.] [Oh, uh… Let me think. Right now, I’m in Beginnerland. I started from LMAO Castle Town, which is where I live.] [Okay.] [This is day ten of my journey, and I feel like we’re finally approaching the next town.] When she saw that, the Demon Lord quickly closed the chat on her smartphone, searched town near LMAO Castle Town, and found a map. [Oh, does that mean you’re approaching Lafta?] Just like the Demon Lord had, the Hero closed the text app and searched the name of that settlement. [Yeah, it looks like it. You have an impressive knowledge of the region, DL.] [Like I said, I want to help you.] [I appreciate that, but…] The Hero was about to point out that he and the Demon Lord were supposed to be enemies… However, he quickly decided that was a pointless exercise and could be taken as insensitive. […Wait, Lafta is only about twelve miles from LMAO Castle. If it’s taken you ten days to get this far, then you must be taking it pretty easy, huh?] The Hero’s heart skipped a beat at the Demon Lord’s sudden probing inquiry. [No, no! That’s not it. I just tend to move slowly when I travel. Ha-ha-ha…] I’m not really going slow because I want to, though…, thought the Hero. He then nonchalantly changed the subject. [Anyway, I’m excited to sleep in a bed for the first time in ten days.] […I see. So has resting outside been hard for you?] [It was tough at first because of the hard ground and the bugs, but I’ve been steadily getting used to it. Mako’s presence has kept monsters away, which is a huge help. Sleeping outside has felt like camping, so it’s been fun…I guess. I’ve never roughed it before, though.] […Remember, Hero…] [Hmm?] [If you cheat on me with Mako…] [I’m telling you, I’m not going to do that, lol. I’ve never even had a girlfriend…] The Demon Lord’s face instantly lit up. She had assumed the Hero didn’t have a girlfriend because of the way he’d said [Marry me, you goddamn bitch!!!!!] the first day they had exchanged messages, but him admitting as much was still a relief. She was aware that there were men in the world who tricked women with similar lies. Still, she had been messaging him for over ten days, and he always responded instantly, so the Demon Lord thought it unlikely that he was taken. […Since we’re on the topic, do you have a boyfriend, DL?] the Hero nervously questioned. He could only judge the Demon Lord’s appearance from her profile icon, but she looked beautiful and cool. Given her title, she undoubtedly resided in an enormous castle. It was impossible to imagine she wasn’t popular with guys. However… [No!!! Of course I don’t! I’ve never had one!] Even through text, her panic was palpable. The Hero was relieved. Mako had told him that the Demon Lord was extremely shy, just like him. What’s more, her messages had all given off innocent vibes. Her frenetic replies allowed the Hero to accept that she most likely didn’t have a boyfriend. That night, the Hero and Mako safely reached the town of Lafta. Thinking it would be problematic if a member of the Demon Army’s Four Demon Generals just strolled into a human settlement, the Hero insisted that Mako sleep outside as per usual while he looked for an inn. “Oh, don’t worry about it. I usually rest in the open air at the Demon Lord’s castle anyway. I find it easier to relax in the trees than on a bed,” Mako responded with her usual easygoing nature after the Hero apologized to her. In reply, the Hero responded with a quick message saying [thx!] Although he had stated he would be spending the night at an inn, a room in such places had become quite expensive lately. Thus, he elected to search for a twenty-four-hour business called an “internet café.” Lodging was much cheaper there. Usually, adventurers made a living selling valuable items that monsters occasionally dropped, such as fangs and pelts. However, as Mako had been serving as his bodyguard for the entirety of this journey, the Hero hadn’t battled anything. All he had on him was a little bit of money from his mom. The young man had caused his mother no end of trouble by spending way too much money on the gacha games on his phone while shut away in his room. He felt guilty about his wasteful spending habits. I’ve never saved money before, and Mom was so relieved that I finally left home. I can’t ask her for more cash… I’ll have to do my best to save from now on, the Hero decided. Perhaps because of some painful experience in his past, walking through Lafta alone made him feel somewhat on edge. However, as he had spent his whole existence as a shut-in, he was happy to be able to sleep inside again, and he was looking forward to showering. “Hmm? Are you staying at an internet café?” As the Hero was searching for a place to stay on his smartphone, Mako’s face suddenly filled his field of vision. “…!” Flustered, the Hero leaped backward and sent her a message. [I told you not to get so close! You scared me!] “I can’t help it,” Mako pouted, turning her back to him. “Anyway, why aren’t you staying at an inn? I’m pretty sure you’d get a better rest there. Don’t you have to sleep in a chair at internet cafés?” […] “What’s that silent message supposed to mean?” The Hero sulked. Naturally, he would have liked a relaxing night in a proper bed, but he wasn’t about to admit he couldn’t afford it. “Ah, do you not have any money, Hero?” Mako’s words pierced the young man’s fragile pride as surely as any arrow. […No, nothing like that! I have money!] “Then you should just stay at an inn.” [I just really love the internet, ha-ha-ha…] At this point, it was about nothing more than keeping Mako from discovering how poor he was. “You know modern inns are fully equipped with computers and internet, right?” Mako performed a quick search on her smartphone. Lafta inns charged five thousand GP for one night, while internet cafés charged two thousand GP. The problem was, the Hero only had three thousand GP in his wallet. “…” Silence fell as the Hero broke into a cold sweat. Mako then glanced at the Hero and unintentionally poured salt in the wound. “Wait, don’t most adventurers get the money they need by exterminating monsters?” She hadn’t meant any harm, but her words painfully tugged at the guilt the Hero harbored over his lazy lifestyle. Unfortunately, now that he had committed to preventing her from learning of his financial woes, he couldn’t back down. “…You know, I’ve been wondering about something.” Mako’s next question, however, got to the real heart of the issue. “…Hero, are you weak?” And there was the real reason he couldn’t afford an inn. The Hero had been trying to conceal this, but he’d never seen a real battle in his life. His mom had told him that he was an energetic child who loved to play outside, but he suddenly became a recluse one day. As far as the Hero knew, he had never defeated a monster and gained experience points, and his level had never risen. All this indoor time had worn away at his physical reflexes, too. It typically took people two days to travel from LMAO Castle Town to Lafta, but the Hero had needed ten. That was partially due to him telling Mako that they should enjoy the trip, but that was a cover-up. Ten minutes of walking was enough to leave him panting from exhaustion. [No, I’m not weak!] Backed into a corner, the Hero made an obvious bluff. It may have started as simply wanting to keep up appearances, but now his male bravado was kicking in—he didn’t want to look uncool in front of a girl. He had already told the Demon Lord that he was unable to defeat the monsters. It had come up in the flow of conversation, and the Hero hadn’t felt the need to hide it then. Curiously, admitting as much to her had felt okay. It may have been that being honest was easier via text than when face-to-face with someone. “Okay. Then starting tomorrow, can I leave the fighting to you?” Mako requested cheerfully, bobbing her animal ears up and down. She looked as if she couldn’t wait to witness the Hero’s strength. […I don’t know about that…] he reluctantly replied after a little hesitation. “…You really are weak, aren’t you?” [No, I’m not!!!] “Are you sure? It sounds like you’re lying. Can you actually fight?” Mako seemed genuinely curious, but the Hero was at the end of his rope, finding it more and more challenging to keep up the facade with every passing moment. Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore and screamed, “What did you say?! I’ll show you how the Hero fights! Just you wait!!!” It was a desperate move to protect his pride and the unfortunate result of a string of fibs.