FINAL CHAPTER:
SUMMER’S END
Epilogue
I KNEW THE END WAS NIGH—GROWING CLOSER WITH every second.
I wasn’t afraid to die. I’d left those feelings behind long ago.
I knew this was the only ending I’d be permitted.
I’d thought a lot about death these past few months.
About how to mentally prepare myself for it.
It wasn’t as if I didn’t have a choice in the matter. But I knew that if I were to abandon my mission, my parents and siblings would have to suffer the scorn and shame of being related to a selfish coward. A man who valued his own life more than the greater good. That was something I simply couldn’t do to them.
And yet, there was one time I wavered.
A time when, for the briefest of moments, I really did consider running away. Not for myself, but for someone else—a girl I happened to meet, one who made me wish for nothing more than to spend my life by her side, protecting and providing for her.
If only we’d been born in a different time.
If only there wasn’t a war going on.
If only I wasn’t an enlisted soldier.
Those thoughts gnawed away at my brain again and again.
But I’d chosen this path for myself. I’d volunteered to be a kamikaze pilot. And in the end, even if I hadn’t, someone else would have had to go in my stead.
I hadn’t allowed myself to feel for her—at least not in the way I wished I could. And a few hours ago, I’d left her and the ground she stood on behind for good.
Down below us, floating on the murky gray waters of the Pacific, I could see a fleet of enemy warships slowly come into view. They were US aircraft carriers, and their decks were lined with dozens upon dozens of fighter planes.
“Target sighted!”
Kato’s voice rang out over the radio. He sounded eager—exhilarated, even.
All that remained now was to crash my ship into one of those vessels.
Then, at last, my final duty in life would be complete.
I took a deep breath and gripped the control stick.
I could feel my hands trembling.
Heh, I thought to myself. Looks like I’m still a little nervous after all.
What scared me most was not the thought of dying, though—it was the possibility of failure. It was something I hadn’t given a second thought to before, and yet, now I could feel that anxiety slowly beginning to billow up from deep within my chest.
Just then, a sweet and delicate fragrance wafted up into my nose.
I looked down with a start at the pure white lily sticking out from my chest pocket. I’d placed it there when I was getting dressed this morning, after picking two of them from the hill where they bloom the night before. Its mate was no longer with me; I’d given it away just moments before my plane left the ground.
As the flower’s scent filled my lungs, it filled my heart with a strange sense of contentment, and my hands suddenly stopped shaking.
Yuri… I whispered in my mind.
To think I’d fallen for a girl named after these very flowers.
A kindhearted girl with a pure and honest soul.
Whenever she looked at me with those innocent eyes, I could see an earnestness in her gaze that made me wonder if perhaps she harbored feelings for me as well—although perhaps that was wishful thinking on my part.
I wished that I could stay with her. But I knew it just wasn’t meant to be.
So instead, I simply put those feelings to paper and wrote her a letter last night. I knew there was little meaning in telling her how I felt at this point, but I simply had to write something down. Had to leave some form of proof behind that my emotions were real.
In my initial draft, I’d actually included a rather sappy sentiment—about how if we were to be reincarnated someday, I hoped that maybe we could be together in that life—but then I thought better of it and started over from scratch on a fresh sheet of stationery.
After all, I had no right to say something so presumptuous, considering I was the one who was letting go, casting her aside to leave this world behind.
But as I sat here now, alone in my cockpit, there was no reason to hide it.
I could be honest with my own emotions—and my final, selfish wish.
I hope we meet again, Yuri.
In another time, another life.
A better world—a brighter future.
If only we could be reborn, I’d do whatever it took to find you.
No matter where or when, I’d find my way to you somehow.
And if the fates were kind, and reunited us on that lily hill—
I’d look you straight in the eye and tell you how I truly felt.
This time, I wouldn’t hesitate. I’d say I loved you with all my heart.
That’s all I’ve ever wanted is a life shared with you.
To exist together in a world free of pain, free of suffering.
Never causing any harm or trouble to anyone or anything.
I promise you this time, I’d live my life for you, and only you.
All I ask is that you wait for me there, on that hill where lilies bloom.
I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. Then, readjusting my grip on the control stick, I pitched the yoke forward to begin my final descent.
As I nosedived toward the enemy ship, I could see the American soldiers on the deck suddenly stop what they were doing and look up in my direction, their faces twisting in horror as they scrambled to run for cover.
They were just young men, same as me.
Each with families and loved ones of their own.
This thought ignited a blaze inside my chest.
Something desperate. Something…human.
And at the very last second—I pulled hard to the left.
Gripping the control stick as tightly as I could, I gritted my teeth as the cockpit shook violently under the immense g-forces. The plane could barely bear this sudden change in direction at such a high velocity. But it worked—I watched as the nose of my plane swerved away from the aircraft carrier and made its final plunge straight into the surface of the ocean.
I felt a violent impact—but only for a fleeting instant.
…And then all at once, my field of vision turned white.
A pure, unblemished white—the color of lilies.
I couldn’t see, hear, or feel anything. But in that instant—
I could smell the sweet fragrance of the flower in my pocket.
I love you, Yuri. And I’ll come back to you—I promise.
No matter how long it takes, I’ll find you in another life.
So wait for me, Yuri—till we meet again on the hill where lilies bloom.
The thought of that girl comforted me as the world faded into nothingness.
FIN