“Same here,” said Akira. “Guessing your school got hit by a mobilization order?”
“Um… Sorry, a what order? I don’t know what that is…” I said, tilting my head.
“Wait, what?!” Akira’s eyes shot wide open. “You don’t? Have you been living under a rock this whole war or what?”
“Er, kinda… Ah ha ha…”
I tried to laugh it off. Akira shot me a brief glance of suspicion before explaining.
Apparently, the basic idea was that, due to personnel shortages in crucial industries like agriculture and munitions factories during the war, students as young as twelve from all across the country were being mobilized and removed from their schools to provide emergency labor services. Since all able-bodied men were being called into service and sent off to the front lines, there simply wasn’t enough of a workforce left to maintain Japan’s critical infrastructure, so women and children were being called upon to pick up the slack. At first, it was only a stopgap measure that was activated intermittently for short stretches of time, but as the war went on, many schools had canceled their regular curriculum entirely and were having students clock in at local factories every single day.
“My sister sent me a letter a while back, where she mentioned she ‘just wanted to go back to school’ to continue her studies, so I assume they’ve been mobilized too…” said Akira, gazing off into the distance. “I bet you probably feel the same way, huh?”
I had to think about that for a moment.
I’d always hated school—all the classes and studying and homework. Having to wake up early and trudge my way there, no matter the weather. Having to take part in group activities. Being confined to a tiny desk all day until the sun went down.
And yet, when I looked back on those days now, I couldn’t help but miss them. After all, I’d been waking up far earlier in this world than I’d ever had to in my own. Having to keep myself from nodding off in class was a sign of just how good I’d actually had it. If anything, I only had the luxury of spending the whole day sitting in a room listening to boring lectures because the world was at peace, and there wasn’t any rigorous work I needed to do for my country. Those girls we’d just walked past were probably on their way back from working at a military factory of some sort since the crack of dawn, where they probably weren’t allowed to sit down even for a moment outside of their lunch hour.
“Yeah… I definitely do,” I said with a nod. “It’s kind of funny, actually… I never realized how lucky I was to be able to go to school, learn things, and talk to my friends until it was all taken away… Guess you really don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.”
I hung my head and looked down at my feet as we continued walking along. The toes of my shoes were covered in dirt from our little impromptu hike.
“…You’ll be able to go back soon enough,” said Akira, placing his hand on my head.
I looked up at him, unsure what he meant by that. But he just kept facing straight ahead down the street, his expression firm and resolved.
“Once we beat the Americans, everything will go back to normal. You, me, my little sister—we’ll all be able to go back to school again… Well, maybe not me, if my unit gets sortied. But that’s a future I’m willing to lay down my life to ensure.”
It was only at this point that I finally remembered what he’d said before—about him being a kamikaze pilot. Was he truly prepared to sacrifice himself like that? Ready to fly a plane full of explosives into an enemy ship? Ready to blow himself up like a suicide bomber?
I didn’t understand it. It made no sense to me whatsoever.
“…Isn’t that kind of stupid, though?” I said. “Like, why should you—or anyone, for that matter—have to do such a thing? Why even start a war to begin with, if you don’t have the means to finish it without resorting to sacrificing your own people?”
I didn’t realize what I was saying until the words had already left my lips. Hoping I hadn’t struck a nerve, I peeked over to gauge Akira’s expression. After a brief moment of wide-eyed disbelief, his face relaxed into a soft, yet slightly bitter, smile.
“…You’re probably right,” he said in a somber voice. “If we’re just looking at the situation objectively, then yes, I think starting this war was a huge mistake. How many lives have already been lost, how much suffering has been caused… Not to mention how many people have been robbed of their freedom…”
I could only imagine how many friends, comrades, and acquaintances he’d already lost over the course of the war. Probably no small number, I had to assume.
“…But be that as it may,” he went on, “we’ve still got to finish what we started. If we lose now, after getting ourselves so deeply involved in this mess, Japan as we know it will crumble, and our nation will be plunged into the darkest days of its entire history. The victors will occupy our lands, seizing both our property and our liberty… They’ll take soldiers like me as prisoners of war and turn innocent civilians into slaves, or worse… It’s thoughts like that which scare me most of all, especially when I think of what it might mean for my family, or people like you and Tsuru-san… So that’s exactly why we need to emerge victorious, and why me and my fellow soldiers are willing to lay down our lives—so that such a horrific future can never be allowed to come to pass.”
His tone was quiet and calm, without a hint of hesitation. In his voice, I could feel his steadfast conviction—so strong, so pure, as if there was nothing anyone could possibly say to make his resolve waver. I could tell he wasn’t just parroting the words of his superiors, or of military propaganda, either; this was clearly a conclusion he’d arrived at himself after much reflection. He’d come to terms with his fate.
But to me, it was all so tragic that it made me feel…angry. Livid, even.
“…Listen to yourself,” I said—in a voice so low and furious, I couldn’t believe it was coming from my own mouth. “So you really don’t mind being sent off to die at all, then, is that it? How many more lives do you really think you’re going to save by sacrificing your own? By the way, what makes those lives any more valuable than yours? Don’t you see how ridiculous that sounds?”
Akira furrowed his brow, clearly unsure how to respond to my unexpected rant.
“…Listen, I get what you’re saying,” he eventually said. “I’m not trying to say it’s justified, or fair, or anything like that. It’s just the unfortunate reality we live in. The powers that be have decided this is our only hope of turning the tide of the war in our favor. I’ve accepted that.”
He kneaded his fingers gently through my hair, massaging my scalp like a father trying to soothe a whining infant. His childlike treatment only made me angrier.
“Fine!” I shouted, running off down the street. “Go ahead and die, then!”