Chapter 14

A Nuisance Fell from the Sky “Ahhh~ There’s nothing to do~ I’m so thankful~” “Vania, do not invite bad luck! If you must make such comments, do so inside your head!” Vania’s sentiment was an odd thing to say during working hours, so I cautioned her. “Whaaat? Maybe it would be bad if I said there was nothing to do and started wandering around the building, but it’s not a problem if I’m just sitting in the office, right? And the autumn harvest is over now. We’re going to have less work moving forward anyway.” It did not seem Vania was happy with my response. Fatla would understand what I was trying to say. Moreover, Fatla was concentrating on her work on the opposite side of the room. I sensed her conscious refusal to participate in this conversation, though I knew she was listening to all of it. “I know we do get periods of relative free time throughout the year, but there is work that must be done every day. That is why I am working now. And it would be unlucky to repeat what you just said.” “I’m not cursed or anything! Do you get ghosts in this room? I can’t actually see ghosts.” “No! It is not a good thing to remark on how idle you are! You are simply inviting more headaches!” It was a strange thing; once we became aware of how idle or calm everything was, then an unbelievable amount of work would start coming our way. I was aware that it was not a rule, but such situations often occurred. When it came to things like this, it was much easier when I was at the bottom of the ladder. The breadth of my responsibilities back then was quite narrow. Odd jobs that suddenly bubbled up or fell out of nowhere were usually not for the lowliest of the low to take care of, after all. They were for the most important people. So now that I was the minister of agriculture, I was always alert, keeping an eye out for sudden showers of work. “You’re a worrywart, boss. Fine, if we get a terrible job in the next three days, then I’ll treat you to a mea—” The door suddenly flew open, and one of the department directors, a Cyclops, burst in. “Miss Minister, this is an emergency! A dragon has made landfall on a farm to the east of the town around Vanzeld Castle! We need you there immediately!” I clapped my hand onto Vania’s back. “I’m looking forward to that meal,” I told her with a brilliant smile. “Wait, no, that happened before I was done saying what I was going to say, so it’s technically invalid—” “You had essentially finished speaking, so it was a valid declaration. I am holding you to it.” Even if she did treat me to a nice meal, we still had an obnoxious job to take care of now… The leviathan sisters and I made our way toward the eastern farmland. It was just far enough for us to consider flying on one of them, but there was no space for them to take off or land, so we decided to fly on the back of a midsize wyvern. This was even faster. Many people lived in the town around Vanzeld Castle, which shouldn’t come as a surprise. It was the biggest demon city, after all. That meant we had to procure enough food to provide for the entire population. It would be much too ineffective to import it from far away, which was why we had farmland right near the city. This apparently was not exclusive to demons; I had read in some essay that there were pastoral regions around the outskirts of cities in the human world, too. The location we were headed to was one of those farming regions. “The weather is a bit cold today, but otherwise calm. I don’t see how a dragon would have been downed in this.” On top of the wyvern, Fatla was flipping through some documents that she would be submitting soon. “Dragons can fight fiercely over even the pettiest differences. ’Tis quite possible that a battle of sorts broke out somewhere, and they fled all the way here.” Though most dragons lived in human territory, there were some who lived in the demon lands. For the faster fliers, distance was not a problem at all. “I don’t really want to fight a dragon…” Vania had gone pale. What she ought to be worried about was the meal she owed me. “You need not worry too much about that. Though dragons are often on bad terms with one another, they rarely cause fights with nondragons. According to the first report I received, ’twas only one who landed. They are not here to start a war.” “You are quite calm about this. You truly have the presence of a minister.” The sudden compliment from Fatla was a little embarrassing “There has been a lot of trouble, so I am used to it…” As I thought about how little trouble a dragon would be, we spotted the eastern farms in the distance. Right in the middle of it, I could see that a giant someone had skidded right through the farm, leaving a gash in the earth along the way. “The leafy vegetables have been hit hard…” We landed at the scene of the incident. It was easy to see where our destination was—the dragon sat on the ground in their original form. Had they been in their human form, the inspection might have been more difficult. The case worker on the ground led us to the drowsy-looking dragon. Dirt was caked on their chest, indicating they must have landed on their front. “I am Beelzebub, agricultural minister. I take it the damage to this field came from you?” “Yaaaaaaaaaaawn.” They opened their mouth wide with exhaustion…which irritated me, to be honest. “Yep. I, the great Flatorte of the blue dragons, am responsible. Yaaaaaawn.” “Flatorte, you say? I hear blue dragons are particularly belligerent; were you fighting with another dragon? Did you fly all the way here?” “No.” The dragon shook their head. “I’m behaving right now. I’m actually so bored that I sometimes end up sleeping all day.” Now my hackles were up. ’Tis all your fault that I have more work now… “Then why have you done this? I would like to hear your side of the story.” “Paaah~” The dragon exhaled, and their breath reached our noses. “Ugh! This dragon reeks of alcohol! They were flying under the influence!” Vania pinched her nose. Their breath alone was enough to make me tipsy. “I had nothing to do, so I just drank and drank. I started in the late afternoon, but I stopped before it got really late at night. After that, I decided to go flying to sober up, then I fell. Yaaawn…” The dragon’s explanation was rather curious. There was a possibility that they were lying, so I had to listen carefully. I did wish I could hand this beast over to the army and be done with it all… Why did they have to fall on a farm…?! “I doubt a dragon can get drunk in the short period of time between ‘late afternoon’ and ‘before it got really late.’ Tell me the truth.” “I’m not lying. Everyone knows Flatorte never lies! I’m just stupid!” I did not see why the dragon would belittle themself like this… “Then were you downing drinks in one go for an extended period of time?” “I started drinking in the late afternoon four days ago, and I stopped last night.” “That is too long of a drinking binge!” Everyone who was listening was astonished. This was on another level. “I mean, what else am I gonna do? Everyone’s so bored, there really isn’t much else to do but drink. Almost none of us blue dragons have jobs, y’see. And we don’t really do fussy stuff like labor ’cause we’re big.” Why did this unemployed dragon sound so haughty…? “Flatorte, do you acknowledge that you are the one who caused damage to this farm?” “Yeah. Not many could accomplish something so impressive. My rivals, the red dragons, could never do something like this.” As I said, there is no need to be so haughty. Fatla whispered to me, “She was right about being honest and stupid.” I thought the same. “So you acknowledge your crime. Then if you are able, transform into your human form. ’Tis not easy to speak to one so big.” “Yaaawn. Fine.” The dragon changed into a human form—a girl with horns and a tail. She also wasn’t wearing anything at all. “Hey! Why are you naked?!” I yelled. “What?! You saw me naked?! You’re shameless!” “Oh, give me a break! One typically wears clothing when going outside!” “I think I took off my clothes while I was drinking ’cause it got too hot.” Fatla whispered to me again, “She is an idiot.” We all knew that; she did not need to tell me every time. The dragon had covered her most private parts at first, but she quickly stopped caring and now arrogantly had her arms folded. If she wanted to move to the demon lands, I would simply make up a reason to deny her… She could go bother the humans in the mountains… “Someone fetch some undergarments and work clothes… And you there, bare-assed fool, you will have to pay compensation for the damage you have caused.” “I don’t have any money. Blue dragons aren’t a bunch of gold-hoarding misers like the rest. That’s ’cause we use any money we get right away! Savings are for the weak, as we say!” If she and her people were not such a hardy species, they would have died out ages ago… “Hmm… Then you can work off the damages on the farm.” “Is it ’cause I ruined it? When I felt myself falling, I thought it was perfect that there was such soft-looking ground beneath me, too…” She deliberately aimed for the fields! Could she get any worse?! “No matter how much you hate labor, I will put you to work until you have paid back the damages. I hope you are ready for that.” “Leave it to me, the great Flatorte. Actually, I picked fights with about fifty-five other blue dragons while I was drunk, so I was hoping to lie low somewhere until that blew over. Perfect timing.” “Why so many?!” I never knew how dangerous a blue dragon on a bender could be until now! “Anyway, put together a work program suitable for this nincompoop,” I ordered Fatla. “That will be the end to our work here, then.” “Understood. She’s a dragon, so she should survive a bit of harsh treatment.” What a terrifying thing to say with a straight face… “And if she loses control again, there will be more damage. It does not seem the blue dragons have any form of government or unions, so our only choice is to have her work and repay us. Put together a program that is just tough enough, but still one that will give her a sense of accomplishment.” I did not know what Fatla was truly thinking, but— “I will start on this immediately.” —she replied just as a staffer of mine should. “Then let’s return to the ministry,” I said. “I’m glad it didn’t turn out to be that much extra work~” I gripped Vania’s hand with a smile. “I haven’t forgotten about that meal.” No matter what she thought, I was going to make sure she kept her word. “O-okay… I’ll manage something! I take pride in my cooking!” I wished she could take pride in her office work, too. Over the weekend, I paid my first visit to the leviathan sisters’ house. Fatla came to pick me up and take me there, and I learned they lived much closer to the office than I’d thought. “A lovely home, but a bit smaller than a leviathan’s original size.” “It is only the two of us here. The rest of our family lives in our hometown.” “I see. I suppose you selected this more for an easy commute than for size.” “And leviathans are much too big naturally, so a smaller house feels more secure and puts us at ease.” “I cannot tell if that is true for all leviathans, or if that is just particular to you…” When the door opened, Vania emerged wearing a white outfit that looked similar to a chef’s uniform. Indeed—when Vania had said she would treat me, she had not once mentioned going to a restaurant. She would be showing off the cooking skills she was so proud of. “Welcome to our fine establishment today. I am Vania, head chef of our restaurant, Sea-Drinking Whale.” “Head chef? You are the only one cooking here.” “You must be Beelzebub with the reservation, yes? I see you have ordered the Chef’s Surprise Lunch for one today.” It seemed she was going to stick with the restaurant story through and through. I did not mind, but— “Surprise lunch?! Wouldn’t select lunch be better?! It sounds as if your meal could either be fantastic or a total flop! This isn’t a gambling den!” “No need to worry. We have prepared all our ingredients ahead of time, and we will only be serving dishes we know will be excellent.” So this wasn’t a “select” lunch or a “surprise” lunch… Ah, no matter. All this complaining ultimately felt rather pointless I was brought to the dining room and served dish after dish— —and they were all absolutely perfect, both in taste and appearance! The vegetables in my salad were even stacked in a three-dimensional pattern; I could scarcely believe that the airheaded Vania could have made such a thing. “Today’s theme is towers falling. We used seasonal vegetables to create the image of an old, crumbling tower. Please enjoy!” “I cannot say this is a particularly auspicious theme… But the level of skill exhibited in each of these dishes is magnificent.” Now that I was the minister of agriculture, I often had dinner meetings at fancy restaurants, so I could say her food was on par with those establishments. The meat was perfectly grilled, and she did not cut corners when it came to the side vegetables, either. “It’s rather odd that you haven’t opened your own restaurant…,” I began, but then I hesitated. I would be sad if she said with confidence, Then I will quit my job and go off on my own. “Ah-ha-ha. I could never run a restaurant~” But Vania loosely waved her hand. I was surprised that she would refuse so easily. “Hmm? Are the hurdles you set for yourself that high when it comes to running your own establishment? Are you unwilling to be anything less than the best of the best?” “Oh, no. If I opened a restaurant, then I’d need the skills to run the business side, too~ No way could I do that. I’d close in a year~” “I suppose you do have some semblance of self-awareness. But are you certain?!” “My sis always tried to discourage me. So one day, I got so mad that I bought a book on starting a restaurant.” Ah yes, after Vania worked on renovating the cafeteria a little while ago, she had wanted to quit, but Fatla had stopped her by saying she would never succeed. “I fell asleep reading the foreword.” “You break down much too quickly! I am certain the author is disappointed!” I had a feeling that the business side of things would turn out all right if Fatla joined her as an adviser, but then both of them would resign… I chose to say nothing. “It is perfect for my sister to cook only when she wants to, Lady Beelzebub,” Fatla said, sitting across from me. “I am certain if she made it her job, her hobby would soon lose the joy it gives her. I believe our current situation suits her best.” Vania was nodding, too. The older sister knew her younger sister well—keeping hobbies as hobbies was a valid approach to life. “And sometimes, if you work at a restaurant, then you’ll have to work really late, right? But people from fancier restaurants still need to wake up early to beat the rush and get their hands on good ingredients. Such long hours would only cause me to make lots of mistakes~” “Ah yes… I suppose you are better off not doing that.” I could see her restaurant becoming infamous for serving customers the wrong dishes… That aside…I got to visit my underlings’ house, so perhaps this dragon business wasn’t all so bad after all. One month later, I was at the eastern farms. Parts of the field were still a mess, but the places that had been truly ruined were now reborn as new fields. “Well? Whatcha think? I worked pretty hard, huh?” The blue dragon stood in her work clothes with an expression of pride, waiting for us to compliment her. “Did you plough this all on your own?” I was shocked by how much ground she had covered. Though I knew dragons were strong, I had not imagined she would do this much. “Obviously. With demons and other outsiders around, you end up joining in the ploughing, too. The ground was kind of hard, but it made the work feel worth it. When I started thinking about it as exercise instead of labor, all the pain went away.” Ah—whether a task is viewed as work or not would make a big difference. It was similar to Vania’s case, where her cooking hobby would no longer be fun if she were to make it her job. The most likely explanation was that while the blue dragons hated being forced into a job, they would enthusiastically take on things that they enjoyed. I believed that was how money came about for them, too. Doing nothing would lead to a most boring life. “Hey, demon, what about all the damages payments?” “Ah…yes. I believe it has been compensated.” My reply came a little late since I had been thinking. “I might have to pay you a salary instead.” “I don’t need that. I had fun. Maybe I’ll come hang out here in the demon lands sometimes.” The blue dragon cackled. “Honest yet stupid” indeed. “Vanzeld will always welcome you whenever you would like to visit.” “Maybe I’ll fall around here again.” “Do not do that!” We could not afford to have a dragon constantly falling in the town around the castle! After the dragon had a quick meal in the farm shed, she assumed her dragon form and took off into the sky. She did not even really say good-bye. I suppose that was simply how dragons were. “Dragons are rather unusual characters, aren’t they?” I murmured, looking up at her as she vanished into the sky. Then I found something on the ground near the house. “Oh, this—” I picked up the dirtied article and immediately knew what it was. “—is the work uniform she was wearing…” The dragon had gone home without any clothes on. “So she went home naked… I suppose she is in her dragon form, though…” She would not be able to enter her house in her dragon form, so I could imagine her nakedness creating trouble. Still, she would manage, I’m sure.