Chapter 11

We Renovated the Office Cafeteria “I am truly sorry, boss!” As I entered the ministerial office early that morning, Vania suddenly apologized to me. “Ah yes. Let me know once you’ve finished writing your apology. And be sure to include what you plan to do to make sure this does not happen again,” I said, using my folding fan to cool my face. I gracefully took my seat at my desk. If I were to get angry at every mistake Vania made, I would be upset for the rest of my life. I had to maintain a forgiving mindset. “Oh, no, this won’t require a letter of apology, boss.” “Oh? Then what sort of mistake have you made?” “Aren’t you being a little too casual about this…? Can’t you sound a bit more interested?” She was starting to sound like a pushy girlfriend… “Just say it. I shall decide whether or not to be interested once I hear about it.” “Here!” Vania presented to me a piece of paper. “Ahhh, our lunch provider is closed today.” “I’m sorry! I completely forgot! Which is why I didn’t have any time to make lunch for myself… I have nothing to eat today!” Vania seemed overly guilty about this, but— “It’s all right. No need to apologize so much.” “What? It’s really okay? But lunch is the greatest source of working energy!” “I care not for your unique definition of lunch.” She would only ever think about lunch before noon. Fatla ignored our conversation entirely and was already checking some documents. There was no question that she cared even less for this than I did. I was surprised that sisters could have such opposing personalities. “Then we shall eat lunch at a restaurant somewhere in town. ’Tis a bit far, but that cannot be helped.” A good majority of the offices for each ministry sat in the district between the outer moat and inner moat of the castle. So by some definitions, our office was within castle grounds. One could not cross the bridge on the outer moat and find oneself in a shopping district, so there was a bit of distance before one came to a street with proper restaurants. “Ten minutes one way means it would be twenty minutes there and back, and having to wait in line could pose a problem. However, no customers at lunchtime is surely a sign that the establishment is no good… Hmm, this is distressing…” “Exactly! You need real tactics when it comes to lunch in town! Now you understand!” Vania seemed to be enjoying this. “Depending on whether you discover a hidden gem or a dud, the place you go to can dictate your working energy for the rest of the day! You can’t make thoughtless judgments when it comes to work!” “Even if you end up in a restaurant that might not be so good, you must still do your work,” I interjected. And do you not make mistakes even on days when you loudly proclaim the virtues of your lunch? I doubt it affects the quality of your work. “If that does not give you enough time, then why not use the cafeteria here in the building?” Fatla suggested, her eyes still trained on the documents. This was not worth it to her to stop working, and I thought the same. Still, she was listening. “The cafeteria, hmm. Ah yes, that is on the first floor, no?” Most offices had a cafeteria, and that included the Ministry of Agriculture. The one Fatla mentioned was also open to regular citizens, not just employees, so anyone could walk in and use it. I doubted any regular citizens would come all this way to have lunch at a ministry cafeteria, but ’twas likely for the many visitors we had from various companies. “I have never used it before. I worked in the Agricultural Policy Organization previously, and that is in a different building. After I became minister, I’ve only ever had the Darkness lunch box.” And the lunches Vania would sometimes make for us. While I did pay her properly, she had said it was simply a hobby of hers. A hobby she was excellent at, given she had graduated from culinary school. “Then let’s go to the cafeteria on the first floor! I haven’t eaten there in a long time, so I’m thrilled to try it!” Vania was getting excited. Her motivation was truly and deeply tied to food. “What?” I said. “You both work in the main building; haven’t you had plenty of opportunities to eat there?” Her reaction made it seem like she knew nothing about the cafeteria. “It is a bit of a pain to go all the way down to the first floor, so I always had Vania order Darkness lunch boxes for us,” Fatla replied, still working. You will do anything to keep working, won’t you? “The career bureaucrats start working on the upper floors right after joining the ministry, after all. It was too much trouble to go down.” “Hrrm… What a hierarchical society… But ’twould be a bit unsatisfying to have someone of high status on a lower floor…” There was a consensus among us that the more powerful, more important people should be stationed on the upper floors. I suppose that came from when we were at war with the humans, and the bosses would often wait on the higher floors. “And when you’re on the wrong floor, the elevator rarely comes. All the important people would get on from the upper floors, so it would often fill up before it got to the lower floors. On the other hand, we did not want to take the stairs.” An “elevator” was a box that moved up and down. There was someone to pull the ropes (an employee from a private company, not a staff member of the ministry) that would bring it to the different floors. The cost of the labor tended to run up very high, so they could only be found in tall buildings like the ministries. “I see… I suppose that is a thing that happens here in the office…” “I also agree we should try the cafeteria.” “Very well. Then we shall do so.” “However, I believe it will be terribly crowded if we go during lunchtime, since all the employees will head there at once,” said Fatla. “Why don’t we work for an extra hour before heading down? I believe that will smooth out our lunch plans.” “You are the definition of detail-oriented, Fatla…,” I mused. Vania was pouting a bit at the prospect of her morning work hours being one hour longer as a result, but I ignored her. She wouldn’t be putting in any overtime, after all. And then the clock struck one. “Yes! It’s lunchtime! Lunch! Lunch! Lunch!” “Vania, how enthusiastic can you be?!” She was yelling like a cuckoo clock. “Lunch is later than usual! So I’m extra hungry, and extra excited to eat at the cafeteria, and twice as enthusiastic as I usually am!” “If I could find as much joy in food as you do, my life would be pure bliss…,” I commented. The leviathan sisters and I headed down to the first floor, where the cafeteria was. Ah, the cafeteria. Now that I thought about it, I rarely ever passed this corner of the building. I wondered what it was like. Perhaps it would be surprisingly modern and stylish. I wondered if they had a fluffy-omelet lunch set or anything similar. When we arrived at the entrance, I first noticed that it was dark. There was a gauche sign that read MINISTRY OF AGRICULTURE CAFETERIA. There was no door, so we could see all the tables inside before going in, but I felt as hesitant to enter this place as I would an eccentric little hole-in-the-wall bar. There was no one else inside, perhaps because we had come an hour later. It was too quiet. I suppose that was one reason why I felt so hesitant to go in. An empty cafeteria is never a good sign. There was a panel next to the entrance: This system felt quite old-fashioned. “Hmm, this is very retro…” Vania seemed somewhat uncomfortable. “We are not going to be attacked. Come now, let’s go in. Oh, I suppose we must choose what we want first.” The menu contained things like Lunch Set A, Lunch Set B, Lunch Set C, and curreh. Also, in terms of noodles, they had ra-ment and spaghetti. Lunch Set C was the most generous, so I went with that one. As an added bonus, it did not cost very much. I turned right from the entrance and said, “One Set C.” Once I’d paid the money, a middle-aged demon lady rushed over and handed me a tag that read SET C—5. And I would hand this off to the chef once my number was called to receive my food. After I waited a little while, at a corner labeled PICK-UP WINDOW, the cook came over and called, “Set C!” I placed the tag on the counter and received the tray with my food. The main dish of the Set C was fried meat—what kind of meat it was, I was not sure. It also came with an unidentifiable soup and some bread. And finally, a small bowl of salad. The place was empty, so I sat at a four-person table. Vania and Fatla soon joined me, carrying a Set B and ra-ment respectively. “Now let’s dig in!” Vania placed her set tray before her, her excitement back in full force. “Aye, let’s.” I brought a spoonful of soup to my mouth, while Vania took a sip of hers. Ugh! I was frightfully close to yelling aloud. That was how bad it was. I suppose bad was not quite the right word—flavorless would be more accurate. What is this? Lukewarm water? “…This soup is quite bad, isn’t it?” I had not seen Vania scowl like that before. So my reaction was not wrong. I next took a bite of the mystery-meat cutlet. This meat was dry and unpleasant, and the seasoning was scant. Even after munching on it for a bit, I still had no idea what sort of meat it was. “This cannot be edible without any sort of sauce… But there is no sauce on the table…” The only seasoning stand was in front of the counter, so I had no choice but to go and get it. After I drowned the meal in sauce, I somehow managed to stomach it. Any flavor it pretended to have was utterly eclipsed by the taste of the added sauce. Vania wore a look of displeasure as she ate her odd stir-fry that came with the Set B. “The heat hasn’t been well distributed, and the vegetables are all mushy. The texture has been entirely rendered into nothing. There was no effort; the chef believed that it was okay to fry everything so long as it was all cooked through. They may not be able to use expensive ingredients, but first and foremost, the problem lies with the skills of the one who prepared this food.” “You have so much to say about cooking.” This was the most serious I had ever seen Vania. In the meantime, Fatla was quietly slurping on her ra-ment, which sat in an amber soup. “What does that taste like, Fatla?” I asked. “Perhaps very low-quality ra-ment that would be served at a cheap, run-down restaurant in the countryside. Or the kind served at food halls in a carriage station’s waiting rooms.” “Mmm… So when one has no other choice…” “It tastes exactly the same.” A damning assessment. “Not much can be done about the noodles, considering they aren’t handmade, but I would like it if they took a little more care. This is the sort of thing I would eat if I simply needed something in my stomach.” After eating about 70 percent of the noodles, Fatla put her fork down. A small gesture to show that this establishment was no good. I looked around the cafeteria again. We were here past the peak, yes, but it was still much too empty. “Well, I suppose we can go search for a place in the town around the castle next time. We will call this a defeat for now. There are some things we will never know without trying them, after all.” Vania looked so unbelievably discontent that it scared me. I wondered if she would be able to get any work done in the afternoon. This awful lunch would put a damper on the rest of our day. Perhaps I should take these two to a nice restaurant in the evening… Perhaps there, we could complain about the cafeteria… But contrary to my expectations, Vania worked at a nice, brisk pace in the afternoon. She was checking all sorts of papers, and she even left the office several times to fetch relevant documents from other departments. At the very least, she seemed to be going above and beyond expectations. But when it came time for work to be done— “Vania, why don’t we go and eat together, all three of us? You must want to complain about that cafeteria, no?” “My apologies, but I’m busy assembling some materials, so please feel free to go with my sister,” she replied. “Are you all right? Your personality has changed. Have you been brainwashed by a spell?” Fatla patted me on the back. “Lady Beelzebub, Vania is a public official, so she does have the requisite skill to do her job. She simply never has the motivation for it.” “I see… Well, if she’s finally taking her work seriously, then we shall leave her be…” I did wish this would happen more often, however. The next day, Vania handed me a very thick stack of documents. “Please take a look at this, boss!” “Let’s see, Proposal for the Renovation of the Ministry of Agriculture Cafeteria?” “I cannot stand to see such an unmotivated eatery! I will spearhead the cafeteria’s rebirth!” She was oddly enthusiastic about this! I looked through the contents. She had collected detailed data. As a result of the current tab system, the cafeteria was ordering food from the cheapest provider, which meant those who used it were not at all satisfied with the experience. “I believe you’ll see this when you look through the data, but more than seventy percent of the people working in the ministry do not use the cafeteria. Everyone knows the food is terrible. And when employees who do regularly use it were asked about their degree of satisfaction, only twenty percent responded either ‘very good’ or ‘good.’ Over sixty percent said it was ‘bad’ or ‘infuriatingly terrible’!” “When did you collect this data?” “I conducted a survey after lunch yesterday.” What unbelievable enthusiasm… “By having the cafeteria serve better food, our employees will be more eager to work! And if everyone eats at the cafeteria, then we will not have to get lunch all the way out in the town around the castle! Think of the convenience! Let’s do this! We must do this!” Vania leaned in toward me hungrily, supplicating. “Very well… I understand how you feel… Due to the contract, we cannot immediately change our supplier, but we can change the furnishings and the menu… However, that is quite a major project, so someone will need to take charge—” “I’ll do it!” Vania yelled. “Lunch will be the core of my work! Neglecting our food is the same as neglecting our work! The same as neglecting the whole Ministry of Agriculture!” “Those things are not equal.” “Yes they are! No demon can live without eating! Equipping the office with a bad cafeteria is like trying to kill our employees!” I had no idea this side of Vania existed… Her logical progression was a bit of a mess, but she’d convinced me. I glanced over to Fatla, but she naturally carried on with her assigned work with an air of nonchalance. I do wish she would help her minister when I am being cornered. Well, if Vania herself said she would do it, then I suppose I would leave it in her hands. To be honest, if there were any parts of this project that she couldn’t handle, I was sure Fatla and I could easily fill in the gaps. On the signature line, I wrote, Approved—Minister Beelzebub. “Go on, then. Do as you please.” “Thank you so much! I have taken the very first step on the path of the cafeteria’s rebirth! The gears of change have begun turning and will usher in a new era!” “Calm down, Vania.” But since she had gone through all the trouble, it was time to watch and see how much potential Vania really had. Starting that day, I couldn’t say for sure if the gears of change were turning or not, but what was certain was that Vania was now working. And working hard. For a while after that day, she was often away from the ministerial office. “I have a meeting with a contractor regarding the cafeteria renovation now!” “I will be helping with the lunch lady’s culinary training!” “I am going on a business trip to a rural farm to procure ingredients!” And so on, for days on end. To be honest, I’d scolded her when she said she would be taking a business trip far away—“Write a business-trip request form! Do not go without my permission!”—but I mostly left everything in her hands. One day when she was gone on a trip, I quietly murmured in Fatla’s direction, in a tone that suggested I was musing to myself and required no response: “I thought I knew everything about Vania, but I was entirely mistaken.” “There are those across the world who have no passion at all, but my sister is particularly passionate about cooking.” Fatla sounded rather proud of her—or at least, not annoyed. “In fact, I would say she is so uncompromising because she is not working as a professional in the field.” I thought back on my time living in the countryside. “I am a tad jealous.” Back when I was helping with my parents’ greengrocery, my life felt somewhat unsatisfying. I had blamed the rural environment and fled to the castle town, but in the end, I had only continued my simple life. I had chosen not to put my all into anything for a long time, and that was my own fault. After a moment of silence, Fatla responded, “You are rather passionate about your work as the agricultural minister now, Lady Beelzebub, so I suppose you’re all right.” I could see the demon king’s face in my mind’s eye. I suppose she had changed my life. For better or for worse, there was no doubt that it had changed. How can I ever repay you, Your Majesty? Ever since Vania jumped into the cafeteria renewal project, I, too, started to pass by the cafeteria more frequently. Though, I still did not use it; I only did so to check on the renovations. One day, I found a paper that read WE WILL BE OPENING AFTER REFURBISHMENT SOON plastered in front of the old-fashioned cafeteria. And one week after that, it was temporarily closed for renovation. The establishment had not been very popular to begin with, so no one seemed especially inconvenienced. I was unsure how to feel about that, though… One day, I could hear Vania’s voice coming from inside. “Just fifteen seconds should be enough! You’ll ruin the texture if you leave it on the heat any longer than that! Be careful!” She was instructing the cafeteria lady, apparently. “Now here’s the old vegetable stir-fry, and here’s the one you just made. Compare them! Totally different, wouldn’t you say? You can use this technique for your own recipes, too, so please take this knowledge home with you!” What was her real job again…? And then another week later. The exterior of the cafeteria had transformed into a stylish café! It seemed the inside was still under construction, and there was no doubt they were making drastic renovations. There was a sign outside that listed the date they were planning to reopen. Under Vania’s watchful eye, the place would be completely revived soon… Finally, it was opening day. Surprisingly, I found Vania working in the minister’s office bright and early that morning. “Oh, are you sure you don’t need to be in the cafeteria?” “What are you talking about? I’m a secretary. I’m supposed to be in the minister’s office.” “I apologize for being sarcastic. But you have been spending much more time in the cafeteria as of late.” Plus, it was odd to complain about her working, so I chose to take my own seat for the day. A little before eleven, Vania came to stand before my desk. “Boss, there’s a task the minister needs to do.” “I am doing plenty of them right now.” “No, I mean the first customer at the renovated cafeteria should be the one at the top of the ministry.” Ah, so eleven was the opening hour. “Very well. Then I suppose I shall be eating lunch a little earlier than normal.” I stood. “Just to be sure, you haven’t ordered the Darkness lunch box today, have you?” Vania asked. “You haven’t asked me about the order today, so it’s all right.” I had indeed planned to pop by the renovated cafeteria on its opening day. “Fatla, you—” —Should come, too is what I was going to say, but she was already standing up. “I will see my sister’s project through to completion.” It seemed Fatla was curious to see what her sister had been up to, as well. We went down to the first floor and walked over to the cafeteria. I had seen the modern exterior before, but not the brand-new menu. “There are considerably more sweets on the menu now. And there are tea-set options, too.” “Exactly. You can now come down for a quick visit for your three o’clock snack. Also, would you mind if we stepped outside for a moment?” We did, and there we found terrace seating! The outer moat was nearby, too, so it felt a bit like dining by the riverside. “We’ve planned this out so that outside customers can use it as a café. Of course, you can also hold meetings here. I’m certain some tea will help with efficiency!” “I’m not so sure about that, but you have entirely transformed the whole area, that’s for certain.” Now—for the inside. We went back into the building and made our way toward the cafeteria entrance. “Welcome!” A young female demon greeted us. “Mmm… I see you’ve fired the old-lady staffers and hired younger ones… That might have been a step too far for just renovating the cafeteria…” “No need to worry about that. They’re only under a Glamour spell right now; they’re actually all the same employees!” “You have made quite the change!” “I have one granddaughter!” one of the employees said, shining with Glamour-induced youth. If you can get a seemingly lazy person to invest in an activity, they can do it quite thoroughly, and this was a perfect example. It was similar to a person who rarely ever cleaned picking one day out of the year to get it all done. “What will you have, boss? My treat!” Well, it wasn’t as though the cafeteria cost very much. “Hmm, I suppose I’ll order the three-salad lunch plate…” “I will have ra-ment.” Is Fatla secretly a big fan of ra-ment? “It will be hard to tell the difference if I do not order the same,” she explained. “I see… Fastidious as ever…” The windows were open, and a breeze came in from the terrace. The inside had been repainted a refreshing white, and the tables and chairs were the kind one would find in a stylish establishment (I did not frequent fancy restaurants, so I am well aware that I lack the vocabulary for this… I never had the courage to go alone… And nothing like this existed in my hometown). “These tables and chairs must have cost quite a bit, no? Are you sure you’re still within budget?” “Oh, I bought all the tables and chairs from a scrap-renovation company. They were actually very cheap.” Vania wore an expression that read, I’m glad you asked! You’re the star today, Vania. Shine as bright as you want. “And all the things on the menu are about twenty percent more expensive now. The five-hundred-koinne lunch sets have been replaced with six-hundred-eighty-koinne lunch plates and whatnot.” It sounded like she was planning on running a successful business by raising the prices. “Ah yes, I see that all those uninspiring names like ‘Lunch Set B’ are gone… But do you think customers will come after you raise the prices so?” “Hardly any customers were coming before, so we didn’t have much to lose!” “Indeed!” Before, everyone believed it was cheap because it was bad… “And the truly trendy establishments in the town around the castle ask for even more money. Paying more makes the customers feel rich. That is the concept for this cafeteria!” “Please keep your voice down—you’ll ruin the effect…” Then a young-looking staff lady called out, “Three-salad lunch plate!” from the counter. “Vania, is she also—?” “That is the kitchen lady. The one who has been here for ages.” The Glamour spell was working well. But everything I’d seen so far was simply superficial. The real question was how the food tasted. I stabbed my fork into the vegetables on my lunch plate and carefully brought it to my mouth, making sure not to spill any of the dressing. The tangy dressing, the fresh, sweet, leafy greens…! “This tastes like something from a fancy restaurant!” “Doesn’t it?!” Vania cackled with the confidence of a boss monster. “Our staffers will feel themselves leveling up eating here! It will bring out the best in them! And it doesn’t hurt the wallet at all! Here they can recharge their energy, then tackle their afternoon work undaunted!” “Oh, Vania… I am so sorry for having doubted you thus far…” A tear rolled down my cheek. Vania looked even more distinguished than she usually did, and I doubted any Glamour magic was involved. “I honestly thought you were exaggerating when you said the quality of one’s lunch could change one’s motivation for work… But this food does boost my morale, certainly more than the lunch set from some run-down cafeteria…” It might not be an exaggeration to say a revolution had occurred within the Ministry of Agriculture. Many more people would start using the cafeteria. I was sure of it. “Thank you so much for understanding. This is what I hoped to achieve with the Improving-Work-Through-Food Project!” “What an ambitious task you’ve been working on…” “Oh, no, I thought up the name just a moment ago.” Some things never change, including Vania’s impulsiveness. As Vania and I spoke, Fatla quietly slurped her ra-ment and even drank all the broth. That is bad for you, Fatla! “I see how it changed.” Fatla showed no sign of satisfaction, so it was hard to tell what she was thinking. So did it pass? Or fail? “I can see the noodles are now made at a proper noodle-making factory. And I can tell that you are using the fat from the chicken as a key ingredient. The addition of heavy spice gives it even more character. This cafeteria has a wide array of offerings, so it can never truly compete with specialty establishments that boil their own broth for hours. So in order to make up for that—to hide that, though I apologize for the word choice—you’ve chosen to embrace the spiciness of the broth and make it especially strong. I would not say this is the best way to increase customer satisfaction without raising costs too high, but it is certainly a better way.” Her answer was over one hundred words. “Fatla, you certainly love ra-ment, don’t you? I had no idea, since you never said anything.” “No, that is not so.” She was also stone-faced when she replied to my question, so I was uncertain if she was answering honestly, making a high-level joke, or trying to brush me off. “Why don’t you take me to a ra-ment place you like sometime in the future, hmm?” “I will have to think it over.” She dodged that one quite easily. “Ra-ment is not the type of food to chat over noisily with a group.” Oh, she is a fan… All of a sudden, I started hearing lively voices. “Whoa! It’s so nice-looking now!” “We can start showing off to the other ministries!” “Let’s eat outside on the terrace!” Though it was still a little before noon, employees were starting to arrive, and the seats were filling up. “It seems we have more customers than the noontime rush, and it’s not even noon. While I’m sure the renovations are the reason so many more people are coming by, it’s still a good way to start anew!” Vania said, looking around the cafeteria. She was like a mother proudly watching after her child. “Aye, you did well, Vania.” Thanks to our abysmally awful cafeteria, I got to see one of my underlings come into her own. One can never tell where they might find a silver lining. One week later… When I entered the minister’s office, the leviathan sisters were arguing over something. “Stop this at once!” “Leave me alone, Sis!” “I cannot let you do this—you know that!” “This isn’t a phase!” Though the two had vastly different personalities, they did get along. The way they were fighting now was not normal. “What is going on here?” “Boss, I have a favor to ask of you!” Vania’s energy reminded me of when she asked my opinion on the cafeteria renovation. Perhaps she was thinking about renovating another ministry’s cafeteria, too? “This is for you!” The paper she gave me read: LETTER OF RESIGNATION “……What?” “When I was working on the cafeteria renovations, I started thinking that it was time I open my own restaurant! I want to resign and become a great chef! Thank you for all you’ve done for me over the years!” This was something I could not accept, and I told her exactly how I felt as her boss. “No, hold on, hold on!” I cried. “Calm down and think a little before you make this decision!” “Yes, exactly!” Fatla agreed. “You’ll never be able to run an establishment on your own! You can’t use taxpayer money for your own restaurant!” “It’s fine! I’ll just take out a loan of five million koinne from the bank and start it up that way!” “Then wait until you have earned enough money to start a business before you quit!” Fatla cried. “Just thinking about you borrowing money is a terrifying prospect!” “Indeed! Keep cooking as your hobby! I’m afraid you might do something terrible if you get caught between your dreams and reality, so please don’t do this!” The fuss over Vania’s resignation subsided about three days later. I suppose wanting the talents of one’s underlings to blossom wasn’t always a good thing…