X X X
“Thanks, Hiromichi!” Haruka exclaimed. “I’ve never gotten through my homework this fast before!”
“R-Really? Glad to be of help.”
“I’m one lucky girl to have a boyfriend in AP,” she giggled. “Oh, you’ve finished your drink. I’ll go pour you another glass.”
“O-Okay, thanks.”
Haruka grabbed the empty glass in question, stood up, and left the room. Once I was certain I was by myself, I cradled my head.
“I can’t tell a damn thing!”
Despite having long abandoned my studies to observe Haruka, I hadn’t been able to confirm the presence of any signals. So what had I discovered? For starters, Haruka’s eyelashes were incredibly long and beautiful. Whenever she encountered a difficult problem, the sighs that escaped from her pouted lips were somewhat arousing. And her bashful smile whenever our eyes met was devastatingly cute.
In other words, I’d discovered how insanely adorable my girlfriend was. Wait, I’d already known that!
Come to think of it, how would I even be able to detect things like that? Isn’t that why I’ve been a virgin for the past 17 years? Man, life is one shitty game—to defeat monster A, you need item B, but monster A’s the one that drops that item. Honestly, any more than this is probably a wasted effort.
“I should get back to studying,” I sighed.
“Mrow.”
“Hm?”
What was that? A weird sound had come from the door which Haruka had left wide open. Out of curiosity, I looked over to where it had come from and was met with the determined stare of a black-and-white spotted cat. Half of its body was already through the door. Come to think of it, Haruka had mentioned owning a cat in an earlier conversation.
“Haruka,” I called out to her. “What was your cat’s name again?”
“Huh?” she called back to me from the kitchen. “Is Spot over with you?”
“He’s staring at me from the door. So he’s called ‘Spot,’ huh? I thought that was usually a dog’s name.”
“Yeah, but look at his eyes—those peepers could spot you from a mile away!”
“You’re not talking about his fur...?”
What an incredible name. Still, she’s not wrong about that glint in his eyes. No bird would stand a chance.
I liked both cats and dogs, but if I had to pick a favorite, I would definitely be on team cat. Dogs were so loyal that they made a deadbeat like me feel guilty in some way. But since cats were also deadbeats, I didn’t hate myself as much being around them.
“Here kitty, kitty!” I called out.
“Mrooow.”
I clicked my tongue and tried to beckon him over, and Spot entered the room. He was a rather plump specimen, likely twice the size of your average stray. He made a beeline toward me and climbed up onto my lap.
M-My legs!
“You’re a big fellow, aren’tcha?” I asked.
I stroked his small cheek, and Spot began to purr in response. Based on his level of friendliness, he must have been a seriously spoiled feline.
“Hm?”
As I continued to pet Spot, I noticed something stuck to one of his hindlegs. Due to the shadow cast by his rather rotund body, it hadn’t stood out as he approached. What was it? Tissue paper? I felt sorry for the poor guy, so I decided to remove it for him.
It was a simple piece of cloth, and it was quite nice to touch... silky smooth, in fact. I’d never felt anything like this before. It was triangle-shaped, with a small ribbon decorating its lustrous, white surface, and—oh my fucking God, these are women’s panties!
“Mmmmm!” Somehow, I managed to smother my scream, causing my ears to ring from internal pressure.
C’mon, these were definitely panties! After seeing Shigure’s not too long ago, I think I could consider myself a bit of an expert on the matter! What’s more, the only other person Haruka lived with was her dad—in other words, any panties in this household were 100% the property of my girlfriend.
Wh-What the hell did you bring me, Spot?!
“He’s a chonker, isn’t he?” Haruka, who was still in the kitchen, called out. “When we first adopted him, Spot was nothing but skin and bones, but my dad dotes on cats so much that he got a bit of a belly. But tubby cats are cute, right?”
“O-Oh, for sure. When it comes to cats, the fatter the better... Yep.”
Spot was round and adorable. A round, adorable little bastard.
Shit, this is bad. Haruka’s voice is getting closer and closer. Cold sweat erupted from my entire body. What could I do? If she found me gripping these, it would definitely cause a misunderstanding. But if I threw them on the ground, how would I explain the situation? Maybe just flippantly saying, “Oh, the cat brought them,” would work?
Ugh, this sucks! It might be the truth and all, but that explanation sucks eggs!
I was in a horrible panic. Even so, time cruelly continued to march forward. While I was busy freaking out, Haruka steadily approached the room.
“Sorry for the wait,” she said. “Ahaha. Spot climbed up on your lap, huh? Come over here, big guy. You’re bothering Hiromichi.”
“Mrow...”
“Oh, he just answered with a yawn. He’s really taken a liking to you, Hiromichi. If he gets to be too much to handle, just push him off.”
“N-No problem here. I like cats.”
“Really? Looks like you’re in luck, Spot.”
Haruka—a wide smile on her face—patted him while he was still perched on my lap. I’d only managed to avoid her noticing the aforementioned “item” by quickly stuffing them into my trouser’s pocket. However, I immediately regretted my decision—after all, I’d just turned myself into a goddamn panty thief!
I’d dug my own grave the moment I’d pocketed them. This “dangerous article” was essentially a ticking time bomb that would likely blow our relationship to smithereens. I needed to deal with them as soon as possible without attracting Haruka’s attention.