“You’re really incredible, Looney.”
Then the lights came back on so the next class could set the stage for their performance, and I was finally able to see everyone’s faces. They all looked relieved. As for me, I probably looked like a mess.
Only Looney was smiling. Smiling and spinning her beam around like a pinwheel.
How are you so awesome?
Even after the play was over, I continued to cry and apologize and cry some more. I couldn’t possibly count how many tears I shed, so don’t ask me for an exact amount. But if you’re cool with just the parts I remember, then here you go.
Everyone kept smiling and saying nice things, like “I guess even you get nervous sometimes, huh?” and “I’m sure you would’ve remembered your line eventually!”—I remember that part for sure. Then I spent the whole night depressed and overthinking things. Then I fell asleep at some point, and when I woke up the next morning, I was back to normal. Can’t stay hung up on these things forever, y’know.
Today was Sunday, the day we were free to kick back and relax after working our butts off yesterday. We were permitted to walk around and peruse all the stores the other classes had set up until the end of the day, at which point we would meet up at a burger joint by the train station for a cast party. There was no school on Monday, either, so this was basically the start of our weekend.
Together with Looney, Elle, and the other girls, we walked around, ate some food, and grabbed some drinks. Oh, and we stopped by Zuka’s club exhibit to make fun of him, of course. Looney and I had both demanded he give us free extras as a “friendship perk,” but when our food arrived, Elle’s plate was the only one stacked four waffles high. It was all so childish. When I went to pay for our food, the fist holding my money may have accidentally collided with Zuka’s shoulder.
All things considered, it was a fun day, but at one point I ended up stepping away from the group. There was someone I’d been meaning to talk to today, and I’d just spotted him sitting by himself in the courtyard, eating takoyaki. But I didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea and start teasing him, of course, so I made some vague excuse and slipped away from the other girls before I approached.
“’Sup, Kyou-kun!”
At my voice, he flinched so hard, the whole bench flinched with him. He nearly dropped his takoyaki, too, so I hastily reached out to keep the container upright. As he choked on his bite of food, I could see his beam wobbling away, like always.
“M-Miki-san! Wh-what’s up? Weren’t you with Miyazato-san and the others?”
“Yeah, but I snuck away.”
“Snuck away? Wha…but…wh-what for?”
“Um, well…”
When I thought over what I was planning to say, however, I started to get the feeling that maybe it was actually really embarrassing.
“Miki-san…?”
Eh, screw it. “I just wanted to say thank you.”
“For what?” He tilted his head at me.
“Remember yesterday, backstage, when you…g-grabbed my hand? Well, it really helped me calm down. I mean, obviously I still screwed up right at the end, but I’m still really grateful to you, so…thanks.”
For some reason, I could still remember how his hand felt against mine. Anyway, I had accomplished my mission, and now it was time for both of us to giggle bashfully…or so I thought. But Kyou-kun’s reaction was one I hadn’t anticipated. Not only did he continue to tilt his head at me, but I could practically see a giant question mark floating over his head… Then his cheeks flushed red, and he started shaking his head vigorously.
“No, I…I never grabbed your hand! I didn’t do it! I swear!”
“What? Yes, you did! Remember? You were standing right next to me! You grabbed my hand and told me it was gonna be okay!”
“That first part wasn’t me! I only did the second part!”
Then he told me something I never would have imagined.
“Sensei said ‘Even when you’re backstage, you’re still acting.’ Then she told me if I ever got nervous, ‘Just clap yourself on the shoulder and tell yourself it’ll be okay. Make it sound convincing, like you’re reciting a line from the play.’ So yeah, I did. But I swear, I didn’t grab your hand, honest!”
…Oh.
Now I understood why she didn’t tell us about the blackout curtains…why she made me touch Kyou-kun’s hand in advance…and quite possibly why she told me she was glad I was around. It all vaguely made sense, and then out of nowhere, I was struck with the strangest feeling. Something I hadn’t felt in a long time: the shame of having an emotional reaction to what was actually a misunderstanding.
“Well, uh…either way, you still really helped me feel better, so thank you anyway sorry I gotta go now but Zuka’s exhibit is closing soon so you should probably head over there okay cool see you later!” I blurted out in a single breath. Then I spun on my heel. For some reason my face was burning hot, and I didn’t want him to see it.
Sorry, Kyou-kun. You did nothing wrong, honest.
Starting now, my first order of business was to find Looney.
I kept waiting right up until the cast party, but in the end, I never did find an opportunity to talk to Looney one-on-one. Thus, I was forced to wait until afterwards, when we were on our way home. After I invited myself over to her house, we were about halfway there when I finally broached the subject.
“Ugh,” she muttered. “I told him to make it sound convincing.”
“So you were trying to prank me?!”
“Cat’s out of the bag, I guess. I admit it—I was the one who grabbed your hand.”
“What? But it would’ve been your right hand, and it wasn’t all stiff like yours!”
“Like I said, I’ve had to practice the basics all over again.”
She held out her right hand, and sure enough, it felt identical to the hand that had grabbed mine backstage.
“Since Kyou is a lefty, I’ve had to switch hands in order to be able to teach him. And since we both started practicing around the same time, our right hands are at about the same level.”
“No kidding… Wait, but why would you do that? Are you trying to help Kyou-kun get over his fear of me?”
“Yeah, something like that,” she nodded, her expression blank.
“Huh? Then why not make him grab my hand himself?”
“Because he’d derail the whole play.”
“What? I don’t get it.”
I blinked at her. She grinned.
“I can’t really explain it, but…I’m a sucker for a love story.”
“Huh…? Oh, that reminds me, actually! Looney, have you been going braless in order to rub your stupid boobs on Zuka?!”
She stared at me wide-eyed for a moment. Then the realization dawned on her, and she burst out laughing.
“No, the braless thing was just a red herring. And the boob-rubbing was because…well…I try to keep all my bases covered, you know?” she declared triumphantly.
I tried to parse the meaning behind this, but couldn’t. Eh, forget it. She was just a lunatic anyway. Nine times out of ten, trying to understand her would only give you a migraine. Then I remembered something else.
“That reminds me—I’ve decided to major in literature,” I said. “I know it won’t be easy to get a job, but I’ll just have to cross that bridge when I come to it.”
“Is that what you want to do when you grow up?”
“Yeah. I just really love classical studies.”
Talking about the things I loved always put a smile on my face. Looney didn’t smile with me, but she listened intently and nodded.
“Then I think you should go for it. Life’s too short to be able to fit in every single thing you want to try, so there’s no sense in wasting time doing stuff you hate.”
It was a cool line that made her sound wise beyond her years. And in that moment, I think I finally realized why Looney seemed so different from everyone else.
“You were the real superhero all along, weren’t you?”
It was a statement so out of left field, I must have sounded like a lunatic myself. And yet she didn’t bat an eyelash. All she said in response was, “No. That’s you, Miki-chan.”
As with every other day, her beam was spinning endlessly…but today, it reminded me of a transformation belt.