The atmosphere in the classroom was as tense as the strings on my father’s guitar. It was clear that everyone in the room—save for Hitomi-sensei—was nervous. Kiriyuu-kun and I were both nervous, despite there being fewer people to observe us this time. Far fewer than on observation day.
Our nervousness was only natural. I had spent every day mulling things over for this moment, in clever ways and ways that were less so.
As always, we gave our greetings. As always, we talked briefly about unrelated things. Then, unlike always, it was time for our final presentations.
They started with the boy in the first row on the leftmost side of the room. I could have easily ignored everyone else’s presentations, focusing on reading my own over again, wondering if there was a better presentation I could give. But instead, I chose to listen earnestly to what my classmates had to say. After all, I would be sad if they didn’t listen to me, what with all the thought I had put into it.
We’re all different, but we’re all the same.
Maybe there is just one person with an answer close to mine, I thought excitedly, but there did not seem to be any such thing. The presentations proceeded on and on, and finally it rolled around to Kiriyuu.
I was nervous, but when I looked at him, I saw that Kiriyuu-kun was even more so. For some reason, seeing the sweat beading on his forehead relieved some of my own tension. Maybe he sucked it right out of me.
I felt much calmer, and knew it was time to give Kiriyuu-kun encouragement. After all, he had kindly washed all my tension away. And yet, when I called out to him, he did not seem to hear. Instead, I gripped his hand below the desk, out of sight. He looked surprised, but when he saw my face, he bit down on his trembling lip and grinned. Slowly, his trembling vanished as well.
When his turn came, he stood and proudly—no, that might be overstating it; his voice was still very quiet—talked about his happiness.
It seemed like people still made fun of him sometimes, even after that presentation—about his drawings and, for some reason, about me. What an idiotic thing, to make fun of two people for being allies. If it kept happening to Kiriyuu-kun, and if he wanted me to, I would happily fight for him again. But I didn’t fight much after that. Little by little, Kiriyuu seemed to get better at talking back, or running away.
His presentation was wonderful in every respect: whether it came to his drawing, his family, Hitomi-sensei, or a certain seat neighbor.
And then it was over, and I was next. I stood as my name was called. Suddenly, they were back: the nerves that I thought had vanished, crawling noisily up my back like worms. Again and again, I failed to pick my notebook up from my desk, my hands trembling. The notes were written in my own hand, but suddenly I could not read them. What was I supposed to do?
A single bead of sweat rolled down my forehead and someone gripped my hand, hanging at my side.
It was Kiriyuu-kun. I felt those worms suddenly retreat. I looked right at Hitomi-sensei, raising my notebook in both hands. Then I faced the class, and gave the answer that I had been thinking about for so long.
“My happiness is…”
All the way through the presentation, I remembered. I remembered Minami-san and Skank-san, Granny and Miss Bobtail, and the days I spent with all of them.
Perhaps I realized that I would never see them again.
I’m sure that I was crying.
✦ ✦ ✦
After school that day, I headed to the faculty room. Kiriyuu-kun, who was now my usual companion on the walk home, waited for me. There was something I needed to ask Hitomi-sensei.
When I entered the room, Hitomi-sensei was talking happily with her neighbor, Shintarou-sensei. The moment she noticed me, she smiled. I approached her, saying that there was a long conversation I needed to have. Hearing this, she led me into a small, empty classroom.
Her kindness was a balm, and I was able to say what I needed to.
“I used to have some friends.”
She tilted her head, and I began to speak. I told her about Skank-san, and Minami-san, and Granny, and the little girl with the golden eyes. I told her about the kinds of conversations we had, the sort of things that had happened, how they helped me, everything. Now, I thought, for the first time, she might truly understand what I am trying to ask.
“I don’t understand why my friends disappeared. It’s a mystery.”
Perhaps this was a problem that even she did not understand. That was how mysterious these happenings were. They should have been impossible without the involvement of some sorcerer’s wand. So I was shocked to see her hold up her finger like always. That is an adult for you, I thought. A teacher, no less.
Yet, in the end, Hitomi-sensei could be nothing more than my sweet, beloved Hitomi-sensei.
“Maybe they came here just to meet you?”
She was always off the mark.
“That’s not true. I always went to see them.”
She did not seem troubled by this response. Instead, she gave an airy laugh.
Let’s think about mysteries.
With that secret lesson shared just between the two of us, we left the empty classroom. Hitomi-sensei headed back to the faculty room, while I went to find Kiriyuu. I found him in the library waiting for me. He was reading the book I had previously recommended, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.
Kiriyuu-kun.
I tried to call out to him. Quietly, so as not to startle him. But my mouth and my larynx were already gone.
I could no longer speak, and finally I realized that my left eye and my right were seeing two different scenes.
That was when I realized it.
Ah, this is the end.