Time plods on and never seems to return. No matter how much you need it, no matter how much you beg it, it never comes back. Both Minami-san and Skank-san had told me that, and I knew that they would not try to trick me, but it was only when I experienced it for myself that I realized how true it was.
Before I knew it, the day before the presentation was upon us, and I still had no answer to the question.
I had talked a lot with Kiriyuu-kun and Hitomi-sensei about happiness, and yet I’d still had no luck assembling the jigsaw puzzle of the answer. Kiriyuu-kun always seemed a little embarrassed whenever we talked about it, but at least he had decided to make his presentation about his drawing after all.
“What about you?” he asked, but I still had not prepared an answer.
“When you’re drawing people’s faces,” he told me. “You start with a circle, then divide it in half up and down and then the eyes come next, right in the middle.”
“When you’re playing Othello,” I told him. “You want to try to capture the corners as often as possible. Then you can’t get cornered yourself, get it?”
Then Miss Bobtail and I headed off to Granny’s house, like always.
Maybe I don’t even need to bother heading there today, I thought, but elected to go after all.
Why would I even consider not going to Granny’s house? I always went there, but for the past week, I hadn’t been able to speak to her even once. She had been asleep every time I got there, not awakened once when I arrived. She just lay there on her bed, breathing softly. She was sleeping so often she might even be forgetting to eat. She seemed to be growing thinner.
If she is just going to be sleeping peacefully again today, I thought, then maybe I am better off staying with Kiriyuu-kun and discussing happiness. But I chose to go anyway. There was no particular reason. I had already gotten my final hint from Granny, who had lived far, far longer than me. My black-furred friend seemed to support the decision to relocate, although she probably just wasn’t fond of Kiriyuu-kun.
So I headed towards the big wooden house, expecting to be stuck there thinking about how nice it would be if Granny was awake, but when my little friend and I entered the house and headed to Granny’s bedroom, I was surprised to see her awake and sitting up. I let out a small “Wah!” upon seeing her. She looked my way, wrinkles deepening with a smile.
“I’m sorry, Nacchan. I got all your letters.”
“No, it’s totally fine. You aren’t sleepy today?”
“I’m all right today. I’ve already gotten plenty of sleep already. And also…” she stopped, then said something that I did not understand. “I know that this is the last day.”
Whenever you don’t understand something, it’s best to ask. “Last day for what?”
“You told me that your class presentation is tomorrow, didn’t you? So today is the last day you’ll have time to prepare.”
“Oh yeah, that’s true. That’s why I came here today, to talk to you.”
She smiled again. She really did seem to have grown a bit thinner.
“Of course. We can talk about whatever you like.”
“Even dieting tips?”
Her laughter was the same as ever: quiet, kind, and warm. It had a different power from Minami-san’s, Skank-san’s, and of course my own. I was sure I would be able to laugh like that someday, once I had led a long and happy life. I felt like learning the secret of that laughter was the final answer I was seeking.
“I’ve got something to ask, Granny.”
“Hm? What’s that?”
“I want to know what your life was like.”
I sat down on the end of her bed. Although it was softer than my own bed, for some reason it was also bouncier. It made me want to bounce up and down on it, but I had asked her a serious question, so I refrained.
I’m sure that Miss Bobtail was interested in hearing Granny’s tale as well. She leapt up with her small and supple body and curled up on Granny’s lap, looking up with golden eyes. What a truly devilish woman she was. Her eyes seemed to beguile Granny into thinking of times long past. When Granny began to speak, however, the answer she gave was a little different from what I wished to hear.
“From the time I was a child, until I grew into an adult, and then into the old Granny you see, I lived my life doing my favorite things, and spending time with my favorite people.”
“Isn’t that normal…?”
It felt like a bit of an anticlimax.
“Yes, that’s a normal life. I was able to live a completely normal, happy life.” Her voice sounded as though it was full to bursting. Full of joy. “You know, it could’ve happened to me, too.”
“What could have?”
“Not having any friends.”
All I could do was tilt my head in confusion, but Granny nodded as though praising me.
“I might not have gotten to be anyone’s ally. I might not have been loved, and I might have hurt people. But I achieved it. I was an ally to the people who mattered to me. I love my friends and family. I might have hurt someone now and then, but I tried to be a good person. And so, my life was a happy one. And yet, it could have been different.” She looked straight into my eyes. “I could have failed to make apologies, lost people, and be left all alone to hurt myself.”
I thought of Minami-san.
She gripped my hand, which was thrust out on the bed.
“I could have self-destructed, hating myself and, worse still, tried to end my own life.”
I remembered Skank-san’s hand.
“But I didn’t. I was able to walk the path of happiness. If I were to count out the terrible things that happened along that road, the list would never end, but there were countless more fun and happy times.”
“Life is…a road?” I asked, curious about the way she talked about walking the path of happiness, and remembering the words that Minami-san and Skank-san had used.