Chapter 1
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“SENSEI, MY HEAD FEELS WEIRD. Can I skip P.E. today?” I asked, diligently raising my little elementary-schooler hand.
And yet, not only was I ordered to the faculty room after school, I was still made to run in the yard. I, Koyanagi Nanoka, could not accept this. I was certain I’d been called to the faculty room to be reprimanded, but I faced down my teacher without shame.
“So,” I said. “I think you assumed I was just playing around earlier, asking to be let out of P.E., but I’ve made my own calculations and I’m pretty confident about this.”
“And just what do you mean by that? Confident about what?” Hitomi-sensei asked warmly from the chair across from me. Her eyes were locked with mine and her arms folded.
My short arms folded with equal resolve. “There was a show on television last night,” I told her. “Where a bunch of people were giving their opinions about an incident somewhere. There was an important-seeming person, who said that the Japanese don’t like people who are weird in the head, so they run away from them. When I asked my mother who that person was, she said they were a university professor. If a university professor says so, then an elementary-schooler should accept it’s true. High school is below university, and junior high is below high school, and elementary school is below them all.”
My chest swelled with pride as I presented my thesis, expecting my teacher to be impressed. Instead, she looked a bit troubled, and breathed a deeper sigh than usual.
“What’s the matter?” I asked.
“Well, Koyanagi-san, I do think it’s wonderful that you were able to think up such a thing and express it so clearly—it means that you are very smart.”
“I think so, too.”
“It’s also wonderful that you have such confidence. However, I have a few pieces of advice, if you would like that brilliance of yours to blossom. Will you listen?”
“Yes, of course.”
Hitomi-sensei grinned and held up her index finger. “Okay. First, while it’s important to try things out once you think of them, it’s equally important to take a few moments to think about it before you do. Do you understand?”
I nodded my head up and down. Hitomi-sensei held up her middle finger beside the first.
“Second, running away from the things that frighten us isn’t always a good thing. There are times when it’s okay to run away, but exercise is important for your health, and you’re already starting to sprint more quickly than you could before, aren’t you?”
She was right, I had been able to sprint a bit more quickly today than before, but my legs were exhausted now. Could this really be good for my health?
She held up her ring finger.
“And third, I don’t think what that professor said is accurate. The things that people say on TV are not necessarily always correct. You need to decide for yourself whether what you hear is true.”
“In that case, Sensei…”
“Yes?”
“That also means that I have no idea whether what you’re saying is correct either, doesn’t it?”
She gave me a warm look. “That’s right. And that is why you have to think. That said, please at least believe this: From the bottom of my heart, I wish for nothing more than your happiness, and to see you get along with others. Do you understand?”
She gave me a serious look, which I had seen many times before. I liked this expression on her. Compared to the other teachers, I felt like her face rarely lied.
I thought long and hard about what she had just said, and after careful consideration, I answered with a polite nod. “I understand. I believe you more than that professor.”
“Good. In that case, from now on, before you decide to try something out in class, come discuss it with me first.”
“Only if I think that’s the correct thing to do.”
“Yes, that’s fine.”
She smiled earnestly and patted me on the head. Seeing that face, I was certain that she truly did wish for my happiness. At the same time, I wondered…
“What does ‘happiness’ mean, according to you, Hitomi-sensei?”
“Hmm, it can mean a lot of things, but… Well, okay. I’ll go ahead and tell you now. Starting in tomorrow’s language arts class, we’re going to be thinking about what it means to be ‘happy.’”
“What? That sounds really hard.”
“Yes, it’s incredibly hard, but you and I and everyone else will all be thinking about what happiness means to us, personally. So try thinking about what happiness looks like to you, Koyanagi-san.”
“Okay, I’ll think about it.”
“Very good. Keep this a secret from everyone else, okay?”
She put her finger to her lips and gave me a clumsy wink. Then, she took a piece of chocolate from Shintarou-sensei’s desk, beside her.
“The first part of my happiness is sweets,” she said.
“That might make me happy, too.” I looked at Shintarou-sensei.
“Don’t tell anyone about this,” he said with a clumsy wink of his own. He handed me a piece of chocolate.
“I’ll see you later then, Sensei,” I said, waving from the doorway of the faculty room.
“Take care, then. Come to think of it, who do you usually go home with?”
“I may be a child, but I can at least make it back home on my own.”
“That’s true. I held you back today, but starting tomorrow, why don’t you try going home with everyone else? It will be fun.”
“I’ll think about it. But you know, Sensei…” I put the piece of chocolate in my mouth. “Life is like a wonderful movie.”
Hitomi-sensei tilted her head slightly, amused. I often said those sorts of things to her, but she always took the time to consider them. However, her conclusions were usually off the mark.
“Hmm, does that mean you’re the main character?”
“Nope.”
“Really? Okay, I give up. What does it mean?”
“It means that as long as you have candy, you can enjoy it even if you’re alone.”
Hitomi-sensei made the same troubled face as always, and I turned my back on her, hurrying home from my dreary elementary school.