It was the third member of Moai, Tazunoki, who had given Akiyoshi, the one and only leader of Moai, the nickname Hiro. The three of us had been talking when we got on the subject of an RPG that had been popular at the time.
“I wouldn’t say you’re a brave warrior, Hisano, so much as a ‘hero.’”
Normally, when Tazunoki said something like that, we understood that she was talking about what role we’d play in a video game, and we’d be embarrassed, humbled, or would just laugh it off. Akiyoshi, however, gave no such banal reply.
“I’m no hero.”
It was then that Tazunoki, who seemed to be very fond of such grand statements as believing in the future, in hope, began to somewhat teasingly refer to Akiyoshi as “Hero.”
What happened from there was rather idiotic. As the group’s membership increased, one of the new members overheard this and, not realizing it was a joke, came to believe that Akiyoshi’s name was actually Hiro. This little episode unfortunately stuck, and by and by everyone came to recognize Akiyoshi as Hiro, which she did not seem altogether displeased by, perhaps given its origin. Though I myself never referred to her in that way.
By now, Tazunoki, who inflicted this strange mark upon Akiyoshi, was a fourth year as well. Her own path had diverged from Moai, and she was relishing her university life. I believe she was presently in the US on a research exchange, or at least she should have been, according to the plans she had told me about when we happened to cross paths at one point in the middle of our third year. Now that I think about it, she had asked me to deliver a message to Akiyoshi, though I never did. I think it was, “Tell her I hope she’s doing well.”
I wonder if, deep down, she knew that message would never be conveyed. I think she had that way about her.
There was no way I would convey that message. The last time I had spoken to Akiyoshi had been the start of our sophomore year. It was the day I had made up my mind and said farewell to the new Moai, and the new Akiyoshi.
I had laid a whole plan for how I had intended to inform them of my decision, but it had never come to fruition. The timing was accidental; it was one of the rare times that we had actually bumped into one another on campus. I had been en route from the bike racks to my lecture hall, and the sky was disgustingly clear.
After a brief, perplexed, “Oh,” Akiyoshi forced a smile that felt so natural it was almost unnatural and walked up to me with a, “Hey there.”
“…Hey.”
“Long time no see, huh? What’ve you been up to?”
“I mean, I’ve been coming to school.”
I have no idea how the tone of my voice sounded to Akiyoshi, but she stopped a half-step away from me. Still, she seemed to have no intention of dropping her crafted smile.
“You have class after this, Kaede?”
“Yep.”
“Where?”
“Building B.”
“Oh, me too.”
She turned and started walking ahead. I followed beside her, maintaining the same distance. I wonder how we would’ve looked to others. Even if someone mistook us for close friends, it would be clear we were not lovers. There was an excess of emotion between us.
It was Akiyoshi who spoke up first.
“So, Kaede.”
“Yeah?”
“You haven’t been coming to Moai lately.”
That much was true, so I merely replied, “Uh-huh.”
“If you don’t like the way things are going right now, we could change it a bit more.”
Whatever I told her, it would not have mattered, so I merely replied, “It’s whatever.”
“I see…”
She fell silent. Unlike me, Akiyoshi was someone who hated silence. So, the words that she said next were probably meaningless, just a means to mend the situation.
“It’s more fun with everyone around.”
I believe that was the final straw for me.
“…Hey, so…” I looked at Akiyoshi, who was peering at the ground beside me, and spoke my intentions clearly. “I’m quitting Moai.”
She looked at me, for the first time in some minutes. I remember her face in that moment. It was a mix of shock, and sadness, and perhaps even a hint of anger.
“Why…?”
Both that expression and that voice were all Akiyoshi, but I knew that the girl standing before me was no longer the Akiyoshi I had first met. She was just a plain, boring university student who had abandoned all her ideals. I’m sure that some people would think it’s terrible of me to say this, but what had happened to Moai after that proved me right. That group continued to engorge itself, reaching its arms across the university as though it owned the place. All that Akiyoshi had once strived for had vanished.
Moai, the secret society, was gone.
With more whimper than bang, those fragile ideals had shattered.
I was disappointed in Moai and no longer turned my gaze to them. Deep down, however, I think I still believed that one day, Akiyoshi would take back her old ideals and her old self, go back to that time where it mattered not how others judged or criticized her, and return Moai to what it once was. But now, three years later, it still had not happened.
I had to do my part and carry on the will of the real Moai, the one that still cared about ideals. For the sake of all that this twisted Moai had destroyed, for the sake of my and Akiyoshi’s old selves, the current Moai could not be permitted to continue to exist. I could not leave this twisted Akiyoshi as she was.
This could not be.
Of this I was certain.