I had been sufficiently surprised to learn that Akiyoshi was seeing someone.
“Well, I mean that happens sometimes, right?”
“My bad.”
She had prefaced this by saying she was a little embarrassed to tell me, and thus she seemed rather dissatisfied that this news of hers, which she had worked up the courage to share, had not resonated with me. Her face was flushed, whether in anger or embarrassment. I was shocked as well to learn that this someone was a person whom I knew through Moai, but there was something more than that.
“Wow, to think even someone like you has interest in things like that…”
“And just what the hell do you take me for, Kaede?”
“I take you for Akiyoshi Hisano.”
As a college student, it was inevitable that I would have to deal with this sort of thing at some point, and it wasn’t as though things were going to change much between us just because Akiyoshi had gotten a boyfriend. Even prior to this, the time we were spending together had begun to decrease.
Around this time, Moai was growing as an organization, with increasing membership and increased recognition around campus.
As Moai began to organize volunteer and disaster relief activities, this growing membership included not only new members but older adults who offered their backing. With this newfound support, Akiyoshi herself began to be recognized in a new light around campus. A female lecturer invited her to a seminar, she was giving advice to other organizational managers, and one page of a pamphlet that was being distributed around campus even heralded her as a “new kind of leader.”
Additionally, a graduate student group that had been active on campus for some time and existed to encourage students to make proactive career choices, far from holding any sort of disdain for Akiyoshi, said that they would be honored if Moai were to be their successors and could even put them in touch with alumni who could offer their support, financially and otherwise. This of course further accelerated Moai’s growth. Thinking back on it now, the social events that present-day Moai often held were probably based on the events that this group once held on a much smaller scale as part of their activities.
It was in this way that, all at once, Moai grew into a large group with dozens of members. I was flummoxed. It was amazing that so many things could come together with such convenient timing. Though, convenient for who…I’m still not sure.
Many times, Akiyoshi had asked me if it was okay for things to keep moving in this direction and if I was unhappy about this. As long as the organization continued supporting Akiyoshi’s ideals, I thought it was fine. Thus, I had no complaints to offer.
Now that we were able to operate on a larger scale, Akiyoshi seemed to be busy all the time. She may have had support from every direction, but she was still just a freshman. I wonder how much pressure she felt she was under. How much responsibility did she feel she had to take on? I had seen the bitter expressions on Akiyoshi’s face when she had failed to accomplish something or when an activity itself began to seem pointless.
Still, I wondered if she still held those ideals when we parted. I prayed that the faintest sliver of them still existed, somewhere deep down in her heart.
So, I’m sure it was good that she had someone to support her from the inside during this time when Moai was so in flux. I realized now that I should have been happier for her at the time, but it’s far too late for that.