“Come on, Maha. There’s no need to sulk this much.”
The aftermath of the battle had the Base in an uproar. Ney’s arrival had forced Tao to retreat, but the fact she was able to not just invade the town, but the fortress itself was of grave concern. The great damage the Base had sustained and the casualties Al-kimiya’s forces had suffered didn’t help either.
Ney and Diriyah were meeting to discuss how to prepare for the next attack. Ruri was probably with them as well. Maha skipped the meeting, however, and instead holed up in her room underneath the sheets of her bed.
“I understand how you feel, but Ruri’s decision in that moment wasn’t necessarily wrong.”
No response, again. I’d repeatedly called out to her like this to try and cheer her up, but she was ignoring me completely. What Ruri had tried to do seemed to have hit a particularly sore spot for Maha. Goodness…
Just then, there were three knocks at the door. Since Maha didn’t respond, a voice trepidatiously said, “…Miss Maha. It’s Ruri. Can I come in?”
“No.” Maha coldly refused.
“Okay. Then I’ll talk from here.”
“No, go away. I don’t want to listen to whatever you have to say.” Maha didn’t give Ruri an inch.
“…Miss Maha. I understand why you angry. But I don’t think I did anything wrong.”
“What?!” Maha threw off her sheets and stomped her way over to the door. Without opening it, she shouted, “Do you have any idea what you tried to do?!”
“Yes. I believed it to be best decision at time.”
“You would be dead if Ney didn’t show up!”
“I understand.” In contrast to Maha’s terribly emotional voice, Ruri’s own voice was calm.
“No! No, you don’t understand a thing! There are people who would be sad if you died! Ney! Mother! The kitchen ladies! …Me!”
“Even so. There was no other choice.”
The further Ruri insisted, the more Maha grew enraged. “That isn’t for you to decide! I could still fight! There was no reason to just give in!”
“But there was chance you lose. Then you would die. And world would end.”
“I don’t want to hear your what-ifs! I saw you try to kill yourself! How could you ever think of doing something so stupid?!”
“Do you really not understand?”
“No!”
“Oh…”
Ruri sounded genuinely disappointed, sending Maha even further into a rage. She violently undid the lock, threw the door open, came face to face with Ruri, and…lost all words. “…Ruri.”
“I thought you of all people would understand.” Ruri was crying. Big teardrops spilled from her round, childish eyes. “I am tool made to fight. Made to help humanity. But me being here created hole connecting to Akashic Record. My existence causes nothing but problems for everyone.”
“Th-that’s not…” Maha reflexively began to deny Ruri’s words, but she quickly realized there was nothing meaningful she could say. Ruri’s words made too much sense. There were no platitudes Maha could offer to break cruel logic.
“You said you were born to fight too,” Ruri continued. “Captain Ney even told me you said you didn’t think life was worth living. That you wish you weren’t born into this world. Did you not?”
“I-I…” There was no argument Maha could make. It was the truth.
“I feel same way,” Ruri continued. “I don’t understand why I was made. Created only to fight. Then asked to die. Why me? I never asked to be born.”
Maha saw her own self reflected in the defeated Ruri. She saw the Maha who had been tormented by her search for answers before giving up completely and falling to despair.
“You of all people should understand how I feel. It would’ve been fine for me to die there. So why don’t you understand? Was I wrong about you?”
Ruri pleaded to her in tears, but Maha couldn’t find the words to reply with. She wanted nothing more than to tell her, right this instant, that it was her beliefs that were wrong and that she deserved to live. But she just couldn’t find even a single argument or pretext to deny what Ruri said.
“…I see. So I was wrong.”
“No, Ruri. I just—”
“I’m sorry. Ignore what I said. I’ll leave you alone.” Ruri turned to leave.
“Ruri, wa—!”
“Oh! Right!” As Maha called out to stop her, Ruri interrupted in an out-of-place, cheerful voice. “Captain Ney wanted to discuss something with you. You should go.”
“Ruri…”
“I’ll go now.” She closed the door on Maha and left in earnest this time.
“…Maha.”
“Damn it!” Irritated by how spineless she was, Maha punched the door with everything she had. Her fist ached and even bled a little, but it was likely nothing in comparison to what Ruri carried in her heart. “…Just what the hell was I supposed to say?”
Not a soul was around to answer her pained question.