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SEB’S exquisite cooking graced the freshly set-up folding table. They dug in and then transitioned straight into tea time.
“Any info on this supposed monster lair, Seb? I know you were listening in on our conversation.”
“I believe a Dodo nests there, not that I’ve seen it myself.”
The teacup stopped just before her lips upon the mere mention of one of the most dreaded monsters around.
“By ‘Dodo,’ you mean the one that’s the Demon Lord’s direct servant, known for being ripped, insufferable, and considerably powerful? We’re supposed to throw down with that thing?” Hatta interjected.
“Not necessarily. We could fight, or we could try beating it in a race.”
“A race?”
“A Dodo can supposedly run a hundred meters in a whopping five seconds. Whether this is true or not remains to be seen, but it likes to flaunt the fact and, as such, will challenge anyone it meets to a friendly race, apparently,” Seb explained.
Alice suddenly grinned. “Sounds amusing. I didn’t know such a monster lived in my country. Looks like all that time spent running away from the slightest hint of danger wasn’t for nothing! It’s time to put those speedy feet to the test…Hatta!”
“Why me?! You’re just as fast.”
“I’m in a dress, Hatta. Or maybe you’d like me to take it off? You perv…”
“You’re the perv here! Actually, what about you, Seb? You look fast.”
“I don’t want that insufferable creature anywhere near me.”
“Sorry?”
“I said I must prepare for my bout with the Demon Lord.”
For a moment, Hatta felt like calling Seb’s bluff, but his survival instincts begged to differ.
“Use your head. You’ve got your trusty items to fall back on, Hatta.”
“G-Good point. I won’t lose any battle if I use those.”
“You’ve got this in the bag.”
“It’s just an overblown rumor anyway. A hundred meters in five seconds? Preposterous. You can do it, Hatta.”
The two sang Hatta’s praises, loathing the very idea of facing off against the insufferable beast themselves.
“Yeah, you’re right! Me and my rare super-speed shoes are gonna show that birdbrain who’s boss. Let’s get going.”
And so, they set out with a single goal in mind—recruit Haigha. Nothing was going to stop them, especially not some insufferable beast.
However, the onslaught of monsters only intensified the further they got.
“Is it just me, or is their number growing?” Faint traces of fatigue began showing in Hatta’s face as he bombarded the small-fry monsters with mini explosives, thinning them out in an instant.
“We must be close,” Seb said, mopping up the stragglers with remarkable ease.
“I get why no one goes through here. We need to move, fast.”
It appeared that even the weakest of enemies could pose a formidable challenge in large numbers. They just kept coming and coming without an end in sight, walling off the coach. The alternate path turned out to be even more arduous than expected.
Alice, meanwhile, was catching some Z’s, to absolutely no one’s surprise.
“Tch. Guess I’m forced to use it. What a waste…” Hatta pulled out a purple ward and stuck it to the coach. “It’s no Boundary Stone, but it’ll keep the weaker monsters at bay for at least thirty minutes. Let’s blow this joint.”
Seb took the reins, propelling the coach forward. The ward lasted just long enough for them to reach a most beautiful grass field.
“We got away, no thanks to a certain somebody.” Hatta looked at Alice and heaved a heavy sigh. “How can you still be sleeping? I’m sorry, but you’re just asking for it.”
He took out a pen and drew a mustache on her face. “Oh, right. Seb, can you really take on the Demon Lord in a one-on-one scenario? I mean, he has ‘Demon’ and ‘Lord’ in his name…”
“I got a chance to observe him at the castle. His magical aura was certainly nothing to sneeze at. But his type tends to underperform in close-quarter combat. So it shouldn’t be much of an issue.”
“Gotcha. Must be rough being Alice’s personal chew toy.”
“It’s nothing if not an honor.”
“Now speak from the heart.”
“I want to go home and rest.”
Poor Seb. Pity, this time for Seb, washed over Hatta a second time.
“If it goes south, I’m taking Jean as a human shield and getting the hell outta there, haha,” Hatta joked.
“Likewise.”
“…Seb?”
“Yes, Master Hatta?”
“…Forget it.”
The only person he wouldn’t use as a human shield is Alice, Hatta thought as he averted his gaze.
“Where’s that ominous presence coming from?”
“G-Gah! Y-You’re up, Alice?”
“It woke me up. Can’t you feel it? It’s hot.”
They disembarked the coach and surveyed the surrounding area to no avail.
Right when Alice figured it was just her imagination, a flock of winged beasts struck from above. They managed to dodge in the nick of time.
“What are those things?!”
“The Dodo’s minions, most likely. Ready, Master Hatta?”
“Ready. Let’s show ’em what we’re made of.”
Seb felled the winged beasts one by one, all while dodging their attacks. Hatta downed them one after another thanks to his trusty boomerang-dagger combo.
“I see you haven’t lost your edge,” Alice commented.
“You think? My whole shtick is being able to effectively utilize any weapon and any item there is. How else would I run an item shop? Though I will admit magic items aren’t my forte—and why are you just sitting around drinking tea?!”
“Seb seemed busy, so I made it myself.”
“That’s not what I meant! Why can’t you just— Whoa?!”
The ground shook under a tremendous weight. Something had fallen from the sky right into the middle of the flock, kicking up a cloud of dust in its wake.
“Who dares stir trouble in my territory?”
The flock parted, revealing an insufferable, winged beast wearing a tank top.
“What unusual guests. The name’s Dodo, I serve the Demon Lord of the North. I also happen to run this joint. Now your turn,” he said as he approached.
“Alice, Seb, and that back there’s Hatta,” Alice replied, seemingly unfazed by the Dodo’s overbearing presence.
“Aliseb, Hatta… Sick names. What about you, girly?”
Aliseb? Was that supposed to be a failed attempt at humor, or is he really all brawn and no brain?
“You won’t tell me? Fine, be like that. What brings you here?”
“We seek your permission to cross into the Mysterious Forest.”
“No can do. One, I don’t even want to know what the Demon Lord’s going to do to me if I just let you through all willy-nilly. Two, I don’t take requests from humans. Pack your bags and leave. Or…if you’re feeling lucky, beat me in a friendly contest, and I’ll let you through.”
“Friendly contest?”
“See that tree over there?” He pointed into the distance. “Whoever gets there first wins. Or would you rather let our fists do the talking?” The Dodo put on a gun show no one asked for, his smug little face looking even more punchable than usual.
“One moment.”
“Sure thing.”
They huddled around Alice and began hatching a plan.
“I don’t want anything to do with brawn for brains over there. Hatta, sick ’em.”
“I’ll get his sweat all over me. Besides, if Seb can take the Demon Lord, he can take this guy easy.”
“I’m not touching that thing. Being near it is already pushing it.”
No one wanted a fight, not because it was unwinnable but because the Dodo was just that annoying.
“Hundred-meter dash it is then. Seb, what are our chances?”
“Low. Judging by his magic aura and confident demeanor, I think it’s pretty fair to say the rumors were true.”
“What about Hatta’s shoes?”
They redirected their gazes to Hatta’s super-speed shoes, which looked like an ordinary pair of shoes with wings slapped on the sides.
“How do they work?”
“Put simply, they make you twice as fast at the flick of a switch. You’ll tire out quick, but that doesn’t really matter for short distances.”
“And your top time?”
“A whopping twelve seconds.”
“Even with the shoes, we have no shot at winning,” Seb concluded.
Assuming the rumors were true, one’s top-time had to be under ten seconds to even stand a chance at winning.
“Find a way to win, Seb. I don’t care how, just find one.” Alice came out with a seemingly impossible demand.
“Ask and you shall receive.” Seb bowed, entirely unconcerned, and went over to the Dodo to begin negotiations.
“Done yet? I can race all three of you at once. If at least one of you beats me, I’ll let you pass.”
“I appreciate the kind gesture, sir. May I also signal the start of the race, if it pleases you?”
“Go ahead.”
“One moment, please.” Seb set Hatta at the starting line, positioned Alice behind him, and gave her a hand mirror. “We’re ready.”
“Start it whenever.”
And so, Seb’s insidious plan was set in motion.
“Switch them on.”
“Done.”
“And you, Princess Alice, please look at yourself in the mirror.”
“Why? Is there something on my—” Alice noticed the drawn-on mustache. A black aura consumed her as she crushed the mirror into pieces, shaking uncontrollably.
“Hmm?” Hatta turned around.
"Die… Die… Die… Die… Die… Die."
“N-Now hold on a se—”
“Start!”
The Dodo sprinted off, with Hatta following shortly after.
“GET AWAY FROM MEEEEE!”
Just like that, he overtook the Dodo with Alice in hot pursuit.
“Kill… Kill… Kill… Kill… Kill… Kill…”
“HEEEEELP!” Despite his record-smashing speed paired with the super-speed shoes, Hatta could not, for the life of him, shake her off. Alice and her high heels had ascended into godhood!
The two blew right past the tree, disappearing into the horizon.
“A-Are you guys human? Mustache girl just flew past with the visage of a bona fide demon,” the Dodo mumbled in awe.
“I ask that myself sometimes.” Seb gave him a soft look.
You’re the least human of the bunch. The Dodo quivered in fear.