Chapter 7: Infiltrating the Demon Lord’s Castle
THE air was teeming with an ominous aura, the sun obscured by a sea of thick, dark clouds.
“I’m scared, Hatta.” Haigha clung to her brother’s clothes, drenched from head to toe in a nervous sweat. Even the monster cave wasn’t as disturbing as this.
“If you can survive her, you can survive anything. Trust me,” he whispered back.
We’ve yet to meet a monster scarier than Alice. Maybe he has a point, she thought.
Seb suddenly stopped the coach. “We’re here.”
They got out of the coach and were greeted by a giant castle perched atop a mountain.
“If we proceed by coach,” Seb said, “there’s a good chance we’ll get dragged down to the bottom of the swamp. I’d recommend going on foot from here on out.”
“Can’t we just, y’know, fly over?” Hatta asked.
“I believe we should try to be as discreet as possible,” Seb replied. “And flying right into the enemy’s hands sounds like the exact opposite of that.”
“What’re we waiting for, then?” Hatta responded. “Our bags aren’t going to pack themselves.”
Hatta and Haigha made sure to pack only the vital essentials to cut down on weight. Meanwhile, Alice just stood there, looking mighty conflicted.
“Is something the matter, my lady?”
“Which one should I take with me? The mushroom, onion, or potato monster?”
“How about we just split them into thirds?” Seb suggested.
“Hmm, actually, forget it. I’ll just take this instead,” Alice said, staring into the green jar Deedledum had given her.
He said the powder will knock out virtually any monster it interacts with, she recalled. It might only be good for one use, but what a use it is!
“We’re good to go, Alice.”
“Same here.”
Hatta and Haigha were already outside the coach, ready and raring to go.
“Seb, how long is it going to take us?”
“About thirty minutes or so. Assuming nothing gets in our way, of course.”
“Hatta, did you pack all of your silly little items?”
“I brought four of my latest homemade bombs with me. They’re loud as all hell, so we can use them for distraction purposes.”
“Haigha, are you prepared to set off the Boundary Stone when the time is right?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Perfect, off we go then,” Alice said, dismissing Haigha’s concerns. “Griffy, watch the coach.”
The monster screeched in acknowledgment.
And so, the party—which solely existed all because Princess Alice felt like smacking the Demon Lord out of incredible pettiness one day—set out.
“Watch your step, Alice. Wouldn’t wanna get your precious shoes all dirty…” Hatta’s voice trailed off as he noticed her heels were completely spotless. “How’d you do that?”
“Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”
“Yeah, yeah. What kind of weird magic did you put on her shoes, Haigha?” Haigha shook her head, her own shoes covered in mud. “‘Where there’s a will, there’s a way,’ huh?” her brother muttered.
He thought about pointing out how no amount of willpower could overturn the laws of physics but, realizing it’d lead to absolutely nothing good, kept his mouth shut. Seb’s shoes were similarly spotless, but Hatta and Haigha both pretended not to notice.
“M-M-Mon—”
“Mon what?”
“Monster!”
“Monster?!”
Hatta followed the direction Alice pointed in and saw…a carrot monster stuck in the mud.
“It’s a carrot.”
“Carrot monster, you mean.”
“I knew I should’ve brought the potato with me.”
“Why?”
“To make curry, of course,” Alice declared, shifting her gaze to Onion Boy, perched atop Haigha’s shoulder. He began shivering.
“Think rationally, Hatta. Why haven’t we come across a single carrot throughout our entire journey? Because it only lurks around the Demon Lord’s castle. And why’s that, you may ask? Because it’s the Demon Lord’s direct vassal, of course.”
“Counterargument: the Demon Lord’s direct vassal wouldn’t get helplessly stuck in the mud.”
“You win this time, buddy. Let’s go look for one that’s not stuck, for now.”
“Aren’t we supposed to be after the Demon Lord?” Haigha asked.
“I forgot!” cried Alice.
Alice was this close to changing their primary objective to finding a carrot monster for curry-making purposes, an objective that, by all means, was far less arduous than the one she’d initially planned.
“Let us make haste, my lady,” Seb interjected. “Wouldn’t want to get mud all over our clothes because of some stray monster, now would we?”
“God forbid.”
And so, after some walking, they successfully reached the castle entrance. It was guarded by multiple, tough-looking guards, so they hid inside a nearby bush to plan their next step accordingly.
“Do we bust our way in or what?” Hatta asked impatiently.
“For my master plan to work as intended, we have to keep a low profile,” Alice replied. “There’s no ‘busting through,’ in Hatta-friendly terms.”
“Got any better ideas, genius?”
“Behold,” Alice said, whipping out the green jar, “a powder that’ll put any high-level monster to sleep, courtesy of Deedledum.”
“Any high-level monster? I’ve gotta see this.”
They moved upwind and popped the jar open, flinging its contents airborne. All the guards were out cold within mere seconds.
“Works like a charm, ay Ali—” Hatta looked over to Alice and found her quietly dozing off. “Are you kidding me?!”
“How could I resist? Just seeing them sleep so comfortably makes me want to join them.”
“What’re you, a monster?”
“Rude!”
Silly Hatta! Demon Lord class monsters aren’t affected by the powder, so why would I be? Alice thought.
“Enough talk,” she said out loud. “Let’s move on.”
The four simply entered through the conveniently wide open front gate. Did the monsters just forget to close it? Or was this a display of arrogance? No one knew.
“Oh my,” Haigha exclaimed.
They were greeted by a luxurious entrance, with every inch polished to perfection. Not a speck of dust in sight.
“I thought it’d be a little more, y’know, edgy?” Hatta remarked. “Like cobwebs all over the place. Strange mushrooms, that sorta stuff.”
“Are you…hungry for mushrooms?” asked Alice.
“What? No!”
“Well, why didn’t you say so earlier? There’s one back in the coach.”
“Alice, listen to the words coming out of my goddamn mouth for once in your life, please.”
“I’m just messing with you. Don’t take it too hard, okay?”
He didn’t. In fact, Hatta seemed oddly into it, for whatever reason.
“Where to now, Seb?” Alice asked.
“Structurally,” the butler answered, “it doesn’t appear any different from your average castle, so we should be able to reach the throne room by going in a straight line. Although I wouldn’t recommend it due to the high risk involved. I believe executing your plan would be the ideal move here, my lady.”
“Let’s go find somewhere to plant bombs then,” Alice said.
And so, they haphazardly wandered around the castle.