“I don’t wanna…”
“You don’t want to go for a nice morning stroll across the beach with me?”
“Did you say ‘beach?’ I changed my mind.”
They got dressed and headed for the beach.
“Think we should’ve taken the boys with us?” Alice asked, walking along the coastline, the sea breeze gently brushing against their bodies.
“I went to their room, and it looked like they were still out cold. Thought I’d let them get the sleep they deserve. Also, don’t you want to take off your heels, Alice? I imagine they’re not very comfortable to walk around in…”
“Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Look, I didn’t even get any sand on them.”
How?! If it wasn’t weird enough that Alice could stroll around the beach in high heels without batting an eye, the fact that they somehow remained spotless certainly was.
Haigha tried asking how any of this was possible, but all she got in response was some gibberish about how any real princess could do as much, so she chose to change the subject.
“Alice, what do you think’s beyond the horizon?”
“I don’t know about no horizon. But what I do know is that there are plenty of fish in this here sea just waiting to be caught.”
“Hungry again?”
“Aren’t you?” Alice gave the onion monster—resting on Haigha’s shoulder—a hungry stare. “We haven’t had a bite to eat since last night.”
Sensing a threat to its life, the onion monster began shivering.
“No! Leave Onion Boy alone!”
“Still fattening him up, I see.”
“H-How about we go grab breakfast somewhere, okay?”
“Fine by me.”
As they turned their backs, the sea erupted in a giant column of water.
“We finally meet, Alice.”
They turned around and saw…a talking walrus.
“Why doesn’t he bark? Walruses bark, right?”
“Seals bark; walruses growl.”
“Now it all adds up.”
What adds up? Haigha thought. What is there to add up?
“That’s nice. Off we go, then?”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
“H-Hold on a second!” They reluctantly stopped. “I’m Walrus, the Demon Lord of the North’s servant.”
“We noticed.”
“I mean, you look just like one.”
“I-I do?”
“Where does being a regular servant place him rank-wise? Somewhere below the middle?”
“Alice, that’s not a very nice thing to say.”
“Why I oughta—” They continued to talk amongst themselves, ignoring him completely. “That’s it, you asked for it!”
Walrus growled, bursting with anger. Multiple fish monsters jumped onto the coast and…flopped around fiercely.
“G-Guys? Guys?!”
“They can’t move on land. ’Tis a shame.”
“They breathe through their gills? Even though they’re monsters?”
Should we just turn around and leave? the girls thought. But the performance on display was so pathetic, they couldn’t move.
“Look at what you did to my boys! You’ll pay for this!” The Walrus got even angrier.
“He’s not an actual walrus, right? Just a monster that looks like one?”
“I think so.”
“So…it’s okay if we dispose of him?”
“Well, he is the one picking a fight with us, or at least trying to.”
“You two girlies dispose of me?” Walrus burst out laughing. “Without your guy pals to protect you, my sharp tusks will pierce right through y—”
Alice picked up a small stone and tossed it at Walrus, beaching him.
“N-Nice throw, but now it’s my turn,” Walrus growled again, flopping around pathetically, just like his fellow fish monster brethren.
“What now, huh?”
This time, a swarm of crab monsters appeared.
“My dream of becoming the Demon Lord’s direct servant, finally in claw’s reach. Sic ’em, boys!”
The crab monsters launched themselves towards Alice and Haigha, only to get blown away by a massive explosion.
“Homemade explosives, crafted by yours truly,” smirked Alice. “Pretty neat, huh?”
Walrus growled in excruciating pain as he got struck by a big old bolt of lightning.
“Sorry to keep you waiting, my lady.”
Seb and Hatta positioned themselves in front of Alice and Haigha.
“Perfect timing. Hatta, clear the trash; Haigha, agility buff; Seb…you know what to do.”
“Gotcha.”
“On it.”
“As you wish.”
And so, the epic battle kicked off.
Hatta bombarded the enemies with his mini-explosives.
Haigha cast agility buff.
Seb started a fire and put a pot full of water over it, bringing it to a boil.
Alice handed Seb a plate.
Hatta thrashed around with his whip, knocking the enemies back into the ocean.
Haigha cast yet another agility buff.
Seb filleted the fish monsters, setting them on a plate while the crab monsters simmered.
Alice prepared a selection of spices.
Hatta mopped up the remaining trash with his boomerang.
Haigha cast healing magic.
Seb took out the crab monsters and set them beside the fish monsters.
Alice marveled at the finished product.
“Wh-What are you doing back there?!”
“Pipe down. There’s plenty to go around for everyone. Here.” Alice tossed a piece of Seb’s latest masterpiece inside Walrus’s mouth.
“Bleurgh!” Walrus frantically rolled around, trying to get the god-awful taste out of his mouth. “Wh-What did you do to—” He passed out mid-sentence.
“Did you add poison?”
“I believe my cooking was just that putrid, my lady.”
“It’s not your cooking; it’s the ingredients you’re working with.”
The battle was over, and they stood victorious, even though Hatta and Haigha were technically the only ones who did any real fighting.
“What were those things anyways?”
“Beats me. They just came out of the blue and started attacking us.”
“That answers everything. Well, whatever, let’s just go grab breakfast.”
“You’re in luck, old buddy, old pal, because I’ve got just the—”
“Anything that has a monster in it is an instant no from me.”
Seb and Haigha also weren’t in the mood for seafood, so Alice just dumped the remains beside Walrus.
“Off we go then.”
They found a nice place to eat at and ordered breakfast.
“How much longer ’til we get to the Demon Lord’s castle, Seb?”
“Around two days, give or take. If everything goes according to plan, that is.”
“‘If?’” Alice stopped eating. “You’re telling me we’re still not in the clear?”
“There are a total of two checkpoints in the Land of Mythical Creatures meant to prevent monster invasions that we’ll have to cross. One is run by the Lion Knight Order, and the other is run by the Unicorn Knight Order, the former of which might prove particularly troublesome. I’d recommended taking a detour,” Seb suggested.
“No detours. If they don’t let us through, we’re forcing our way through. Anything else I should know about?”
“There’s also a certain cave we’ll have to pass through if we want to reach the Demon Lord’s castle. Back in my day, it used to be just like any other cave but with an added dash of monster. Nowadays, it’s teeming with all sorts of powerful monsters, and the exit is guarded by the most powerful of the bunch, known as Humpty. Or so I heard.”
Hatta and Haigha went pale at the mere mention of the name.
“Something wrong, you two?”
“A fellow item shop owner once told me to stay the hell away from Humpty at all costs,” Hatta said.
“I’ve also heard some scary things about him. Apparently, he can wipe a party out without even lifting a finger,” Haigha added, shuddering.
“A super-strong monster sounds like fun. Anything else I should know, Seb?” Alice asked.
“The Demon Lord’s castle is right outside the cave, so no.”
Hatta and Haigha knew full well that Alice didn’t back down for anybody and accepted their fate wearily. And so, they were off to the Land of Mythical Creatures.