❤❤❤
A whole slew of beefed-up guards was manning the gate. It didn’t seem like the gang were getting through any time soon.
“Do not let anyone through. Do I make myself clear?”
“Sir! Yes, sir!”
“That’s what I like to hear. Don’t let me down, boys!”
“Sir! Yes, sir!”
They were almost as insufferable as the Dodo.
“What’s up with you, Haigha?” Hatta asked.
“You lied! Those aren’t card soldiers.”
“Yes, they are. See?” Hatta pointed at the cards casually sticking out of their chest pockets. “Cute and gentlemanly! Am I right, or am I right?”
How can you say that with a straight face? They’re neither of those things! They’re…they’re jacked! Haigha fell to her knees, crying on the inside.
“Long time, no see, General Ace of Spades.” Alice approached the guards, ignoring Haigha’s mental breakdown.
“Who do you think you—” He recognized Alice. “Well, if it isn’t Princess Alice! What brings you here?”
“I’ve come to see the Red Queen. Mind letting us through?”
“We were explicitly instructed not to let anyone through. Not even you, Princess Alice.” He bowed. “I hope you understand.”
Well, this just got a little awkward, Alice thought.
Alice was brainstorming solutions when a nearby scream cut off her thought process.
“Monsters on the loose!”
They turned around and saw an onion and a mushroom monster wreaking havoc.
“Don’t let them near the castle!” The card soldiers fearlessly rushed in, their general leading the charge.
“Alice…”
“What is it, Hatta?”
“Now’s our chance.”
“You’re right. Time to kill two birds with one stone. Seb, fire up the pan.”
“I already have,” Seb said, holding out a hot pan.
“That’s not what I meant by that at all!”
“But there’s a mushroom and an onion just waiting to be devoured,” Alice argued hungrily.
“How many times do I have to tell you? They’re monsters, not veggies, Alice! Whatever; let’s just get inside while they’re distracted.”
“Completely slipped my mind. But before we go, Haigha…”
“Yes?”
“Don’t you want to watch them beat the ever-living hell out of those monsters? You said you liked card soldiers…”
“No, thank you!”
“I could also introduce you to Dodo, this super-jacked monster, if that’s the kind of thing you’re into.”
“No, I’m not!”
“Let us hurry, my lady. Time is not on our side.” Seb took the initiative before the conversation spiraled out of control, the frying pan still resting in his left hand.
✦ ✦ ✦
❤❤❤
ALTHOUGH they eventually managed to make it inside, the guards patrolling the place didn’t allow them to move around as freely as they would’ve liked.
“Alice, look here.” Hatta beckoned her over. “We can disguise ourselves as card soldiers.”
Alice peeked inside and saw a row of armor. Upon reflection, she remembered the card soldiers outside weren’t wearing any. They probably weren’t expecting monsters to come knocking on their doorstep.
“That’s a line I’m not crossing,” Alice said.
“Just thinking about wearing the same suit of armor as them makes me feel sick,” Haigha declared.
“I’ll have to politely decline,” Seb said.
They all shot down Hatta’s suggestion in unison.
Have it your way, then. Hatta reached for a set of armor. It was so moist with sweat, he immediately changed his mind.
“We still have to find a way through. Any ideas, Seb?” Alice asked.
“My lady, can you feel the ominous presence?”
“Now that you mention it, I think it’s coming from somewhere around,” Alice grabbed Cheshire out of the air, “here.”
“How’d you find me?! I used a dimensional veil to completely mask my presence.”
“I had a feeling.”
“What feeling?”
“It doesn’t matter right now. What does matter is what you’re doing here. Were you trying to get the drop on us?”
“I wasn’t and never will. You have my word. I heard they caught the tart thief, so I thought I’d stop by to take a look.”
“They did?”
“I had my minions investigate. This is fresh stuff.”
It genuinely felt like Cheshire was telling the truth. He just came here to see the show, thought Alice.
“The trial starts shortly. See ya around.”
“Take us with you.”
“Wanna come with? Sure thing.” Cheshire waved his hand, enveloping them in strange black smoke.
“My dimensional veil should make you virtually undetectable. The trial’s taking place in the throne room. Let’s get moving.”
With Chesire’s unexpected help, they successfully made their way into the throne room. The trial appeared to have already started as the Red Queen pressured the suspect into confessing.
“I know it was you. Confess to your crimes.”
“I wasn’t even in the Land of Cards when they were being stolen! Call Princess Alice; she’ll prove my innocence!”
Said suspect was the White Rabbit.