“Chasing after a student from the same school…?”
When my parents, who had rushed to the hospital after discovering that I had awakened, asked why I was on the long stairs of the Death God’s Mansion, they got an answer that made them tilt their heads.
“It was probably Misa Otsubo from Class B.”
Upon hearing my muttered response, my parents looked at each other. My sister, who had come to the hospital with them, was looking at me on the bed with a cold gaze.
“Didn’t you mistake her? She couldn’t have been there.”
“Eh? But…”
“Your memory is confused due to the accident.”
To comfort me, my father gently patted my shoulder.
I was not confused. I definitely chased after a female student from the same school. When I fell down the stairs, the person I saw was Otsubo-san, but I swallowed the words that had risen to my throat.
I understood from how my parents in the ward behaved that no matter how much I talked, they wouldn’t take me seriously.
My strength recovered with each passing day.
The scenery I could see from the window had shifted from the fall, when the accident happened, to the winter. Although it had been autumn just the day before, the moment I woke up, the season had changed to winter in an instant.
I couldn’t tell anyone about the events I experienced as a half-spirit.
It wouldn’t make sense to anyone if I told them. Just like when I told my parents why I climbed up the long staircase, I didn’t want to worry them, nor did I want to be dismissed. There was only one person who would understand this outlandish story.
On the third night, after waking up in the hospital room, I snuck out, slipping on my coat over my pajamas.
I wanted to see Soejima-kun. I wanted to report to him that I had returned to my body. Relying on my faint memory, I headed to Soejima-kun’s grandfather’s house. The road I remembered really existed.
I walked the road without hesitation and arrived in the quiet residential area where the old man’s house was located. I looked around the alley, illuminated by the dim light of the streetlamps, and couldn’t believe my eyes.
Among the lined-up houses, only Soejima-kun’s grandfather’s house was missing. The place where the house had been was now a vacant lot.
“No way…”
I stood still and turned on my heels to escape from what I saw.
From that day on, I could no longer confirm the days I had spent as a half-spirit.
I thought about going to the high school Soejima-kun had attended, but I was scared. If the existence of Soejima-kun was denied, I was afraid that the precious days I spent as a half-spirit would become an illusion.
After a while, the results of the tests I had undergone after waking up in the hospital were released.
My body was in perfect health, the cause of my nearly three-month sleep remained unknown, and the day of my discharge was decided.
The bandage on my head was also removed. I took a peek at the mirror handed to me by the nurse. Since the injury was on my head, the wound was not noticeable under my hair, which reassured me.
Reflected in the mirror I looked into was my image, unchanged from before the accident, hiding my eyes under long bangs.
“Did you take off the bandage?”
When I looked in the direction of the voice, my sister, in her school uniform, was standing in front of the ward door.
Upon entering the ward, the nurse asked my sister, “Oh? Are you alone?”
“Yes,” she replied, and sat down in the chair beside my bed.
“You two get along well.”
When the smiling nurse left the room, an awkward atmosphere filled the ward. It was the first time my sister had come to my ward alone. I wondered why she had gone out of her way to come, even though I would be discharged in a few days.
In the room with just the two of us, my sister was looking down, silent. Not knowing what to say, I was bewildered.
“Do you want something to drink?”
All I could do was say something commonplace. I fumbled to take a can of juice from the fridge in the ward and offered it to her. However, my sister didn’t take it. Instead, she gave me a dubious look.
“You’re hiding something, aren’t you?”
I was startled and nearly dropped the can of juice I was holding.
Hiding something… The first thing that came to mind was my days as a half-spirit, but there was no way she could know about that. As I panicked, my sister asked me another question that perked my ears, “Weren’t you pushed down the stairs?”
“Pushed?” I opened my eyes wide and answered, “No way.”
But my sister said with a stern look on her face, “Everyone at school is saying that. They say it might have been done by the person from two years ago.”
“The person from two years ago?”
“Two years ago, someone came to our school and said, ‘A student here is going to have an accident on the long staircase.’ They’re saying that person might still be after you…”
Someone’s after me…?! It was just an accident; what on earth are they talking about?
“There’s no way I’m being targeted.” I nervously denied it, but my sister shook her head.
“I overheard the teacher who came to our house telling Mom and Dad to be careful. They said a suspicious man with a news article about the accident has visited the school several times, asking to meet you…”
A man with a news article about the accident…
My thought process stopped for a moment.
“What kind of person?! Do you know his name?”
I panicked and leaned forward suddenly, surprising my sister.
“I don’t know his name, but they said he had an ID card from XX University.”
“A university student…”
The hope that had started to swell in my chest quickly deflated, and I felt my energy drain.
“Do you know him? I can ask Mom and Dad, but I don’t think they’ll tell us.”
“No, it’s fine. Don’t ask.”
When I replied in a flustered manner, my sister shrugged her shoulders. “Mom and Dad are acting strange. They seem to be avoiding the topic of the accident, even though you might be in danger.”
She had come to the hospital room probably out of concern for me. I was surprised that she was worried about me.
“It really was just an accident.” I smiled to reassure my sister and handed her the can of juice in an awkward manner.
On my first day back at school after being discharged from the hospital, I slipped into my black sailor suit for the first time in a long time, tightly tied my blue tie, and stood in front of the mirror.
My jet-black hair, which was about ten centimeters past my collarbone, long bangs that covered my eyes, slightly large upturned eyes hidden by my bangs, and myself in a black sailor suit with a blue tie appeared in the mirror, as ordinary and unassertive as ever.
As the sound of a knock on the door echoed, my stepmother opened the door to my room, asking, “Are you ready?” She was all dressed up.
On my first day back to school, my stepmother was going to accompany me. It seemed that she wanted to thank the teachers and discuss my future.
I put on my coat over my uniform and stepped outside the front door of the house. A strong wind blew, and I shrank back. It was cold with just one layer of coat over my clothes.
Now that I was not a half-spirit, I could feel the coldness properly.
“Wait, Fuuka. It looks like the weather is going to turn bad.” My stepmother, who had come out of the entrance later, handed me a navy-blue folding umbrella. I stared at the umbrella and took it. It was the umbrella that had flown out of my hand during the accident.
“It’s an important umbrella, isn’t it?”
“Huh?”
“You wouldn’t listen when I suggested buying a brighter-colored one. You’ve been using this umbrella all along, haven’t you?”
“Is that so…?”
Seeing my reaction, my stepmother gave me a gentle smile.
“You don’t have to be considerate with me. You got it from your mother, right? You have to take care of it.”
Is that so? With the feeling that something was missing from my memory, I put the navy-blue folding umbrella I had received into my bag.
When we arrived at the nearest station, I lined up with my stepmother on the platform to wait for the train.
The station was crowded during rush hour. As I watched the usual morning scene of people packed onto the platform, I began to feel more and more like I was just part of the backdrop of this world.
“There’s something I want to talk to you about before we get to school, Fuuka.” I looked at my stepmother. She had a grim expression.
“Your father and I decided to keep quiet until you were discharged and settled in, but one of your classmates…”
Just as my stepmother began to say something, a train pulled into the platform.
As the train arrived, the platform became even more crowded, with passengers getting off. My stepmother stopped speaking, followed the flow of the line moving forward, and boarded the train. I followed her to get on the train, but in that moment, I saw a male student on the opposite platform through the crowd.
“Fuuka?!”
My stepmother’s confused voice came from behind me.
I turned my back on the train and was heading toward the opposite platform.
The striped tie and navy-blue blazer uniform that I caught sight of overlapped with the figure in my memory.
When I got close to the ticket gate, I saw the boy’s face… I didn’t know him at all.
Coming to my senses, I looked toward the train I was supposed to board, which had already started moving. The moving wind of the train fluttered my skirt and hair, and I held down my bangs.
What am I doing?
I was dismayed at myself and felt like crying.
The listless god, the chilling smile of the Death God, the missing Fuyu, my body that disappeared, the promise with Soejima-kun…
I was going back to my daily life before the accident as if nothing had happened. Although I thought that was fine, a part of me didn’t feel that way.
I pretended not to notice, but the truth was, I hated my old life. I was disappointed in myself for having lived like a spirit. I wanted to disappear, yes, but what I truly wanted was to erase that part of myself that could only live in such a way.