I left the classroom and began to walk around the stark white corridors of the school building.
Chemistry lab, art room, infirmary, gymnasium, teachers’ room, library—I went around all sorts of places in the school, but I couldn’t remember anything.
As I was climbing up the stairs, I stopped in my tracks when I saw myself reflected in a full-length mirror at the corner. A girl in a sailor uniform with long bangs and slightly slanted eyes was looking back at me with a gloomy face.
Did I like school? Did I participate in club activities? Did I have friends? Did I have someone I liked? Someone I cherished? Someone who worried about me? Why can’t I remember anything?
In my memory, the younger me was told by a boy that I was “the worst.” Was I such a horrible girl? I want to believe otherwise, but I don’t know what kind of person I am.
Desperate to remember even a little, I repeatedly walked around the school building. Even though no one could see me, I quickly left places where many people were gathered, as if running away. As I repeated this, my head became hazy, and I became numb to the passage of time.
When I realized it, the stark white corridor was tinged with orange, and the sound of the brass band practicing on the grounds echoed. I turned on my heel and went back.
When I returned to Soejima-kun’s class, the classroom was quiet. The once lively classroom was now bathed in the orange light of the setting sun.
I walked into the orange classroom and moved toward Soejima-kun, who was reading a book by the window. As I stood next to him, he noticed me and lifted his gaze from the book.
After looking at me for a few seconds, Soejima-kun placed his book on the desk.
“I thought you might have gotten lost since you didn’t come back for a while.” He joked before asking me, “Do you remember anything?”
I looked down. Avoiding my silent face, Soejima-kun rephrased his question. “Did you recall anything?”
“I’m sorry.”
“I see…” Soejima-kun said and began to pack his books and notebooks into his bag. I bit my lip. I wanted to suppress the feelings of guilt and the rising whimpers.
“I didn’t think you’d be able to remember anything so quickly.” Soejima-kun’s nonchalant words were tinged with kindness, and my emotions welled up. The whimper that I had tried to suppress stuck in my throat.
“What if no one wants me to come back to life?”
“Huh?” Soejima-kun asked back in my muffled voice.
“What if the person I can’t remember is a terrible human being?”
Had he connected the disjointed parts of my soft voice in his head? After a slight delay, Soejima-kun looked up at me. “Are you afraid to know your past?”
His voice echoed in the empty classroom.
“Unfortunately, if you want to come back to life, you have no choice but to face your past,” Soejima-kun said, pulling his chair back with a screech and standing up. “Because it’s impossible for you to tie my fate.”
I lifted my downcast face.
“I can’t imagine a future where I’m happily spending time with someone.” Soejima-kun’s face, though expressionless, was beautiful, tinged by the orange sunset. He slung his bag over his shoulder and spoke to me. “Let’s go home for today, Yuu.”
The name that Soejima-kun had given me echoed sadly in the classroom.
Having everything in terms of looks, being the center of attention even in silence, and having people around him. At this time, I was so consumed with myself that I only saw Soejima-kun’s exterior.
At this moment, I still didn’t realize that Soejima-kun was also truly alone.
I was bound by the past, and you were imprisoned by the future.