Glasses turned toward Naoya and said, “And thanks to you too! I’m gonna borrow Shirogane for a bit, if that’s cool?”
“Sure, have fun,” Naoya said with a wave. With that, the two girls headed off in the direction of the staff room, Koyuki grumbling all the while. The other students in the hall all gawked at Naoya in awe, as if he was a lion tamer at a circus. He pretended not to notice.
Koyuki returned about 10 minutes later. Naoya had been waiting for her on an open bench in the school’s courtyard. “Good work out there, Shirogane,” he greeted her jovially. “That’s your good deed for the day, haha.”
Koyuki answered with silence.
The courtyard was located between two school buildings and boasted a large, grassy area. There were a large number of students who normally spent their lunch there. The weather was particularly nice today, so there were even more students than usual.
Koyuki took a seat next to Naoya, lunch box in hand. She didn’t start eating immediately, though—instead, she sat there silently.
Naoya could sense her displeasure emanating from her. Ah, crap. I wonder if I went too far earlier. Yeah, I guess calling her out like that in front of people was a little... he contemplated.
“Hey,” Koyuki finally spoke in a low volume. She raised her head, and Naoya noticed a serious expression he hadn’t seen from her before. “About earlier... Thanks.”
“Oh,” he replied simply. This was not what Naoya had been expecting. He couldn’t spot any falsehood or grandstanding in her eyes—she really did appreciate his advice and took it to heart.
Koyuki took a breath before continuing, “I’m always like that. I guess you could say I’m really bad at socializing. I always end up saying awful things to people as a result.”
“Well, admitting it is the first step, right? Isn’t that what they say?”
“I know it’s bad, but then I just say things without realizing, and I just can’t stop myself...” she confessed with a tinge of pain in her voice. She was being truly honest. She kept glancing at Naoya in between words, and he could see her troubled expression. “But because of what you said earlier, I was finally able to talk to the girls in my class for the first time. So I just wanna say... thank you.”
“Well, you’re welcome,” Naoya replied with a bright smile. Deep down, however, he was somewhat worried. Koyuki had been in that class for a month already. Had that truly been the first time she’d actually spoken to those girls? He had to conclude he’d been right from the start about her—she really was nothing more than an awkward girl. Her sharp tongue was, most of the time, a product of her embarrassment or a defense mechanism. It wasn’t a particularly uncommon tactic, but in Koyuki’s case, it seemed to be especially bad.
Hmm... Her behavior leads me to think there was some kind of event in her past that triggered her to act this way—oh no, no, nu-uh. Don’t go there, Naoya. Bad Naoya. Naoya quickly stopped himself in his mental tracks. He knew that if he followed that train of thought, he’d only end up prying too much into her personal life, so he banished it from his head. He really couldn’t stop himself from digging into a person’s brain once he started. It was incredibly rude—not to mention unethical—to do that just because he could.
Koyuki’s face darkened as Naoya sat in silence. “I knew it. They call me ‘The Queen of Thorns,’ but I’m really just a bad person,” she said in a trembling voice. She hung her head over her lunch box.
Seeing she was on the verge of tears, Naoya quickly stepped in and reassured her, “You’re not a bad person.”
“What?”
Naoya looked around for a moment before he pointed to a walkway on the other side of the courtyard. The school guidance counselor, Iwatani, stood there. He was known as the toughest and strictest teacher in the school, and he had a grim exterior to match. He was a real stickler for meaningless school regulations, and no student had ever witnessed him smile.
“Look—that’s Iwantani over there. You see him?” Naoya pointed.
“Yeah. What about him?”
“He’s actually a huge sweetheart. He works really hard as a counselor.”
“You’re messing with me.”
“I’m being serious. Just watch him.”
He had just finished pulling some students aside for minor infractions based on their uniform regulation. When he was done, they all scattered like a newly-hatched nest of spiders. As he watched them leave, Iwatani’s normally hard expression faltered for a moment. His façade crumpled in exhaustion, and he let out a long sigh. The moment of vulnerability was short lived, however, and his usual stern expression was reconstructed in the blink of an eye. He turned around and headed back inside the school.
Naoya turned back around and found Koyuki wide-eyed in surprise. “He actually does look really tired. I had no idea,” she marveled.
“Right? He’s always hiding it from everyone,” Naoya replied.
He was pretty sure only he and a few teachers were aware of this fact. Iwatani was strict with the students, his coworkers, and himself. He was aware this made him hard to be around, so he played into the perception of himself as a strict authority figure so as to better perform his job.
“I can tell that he’s doing that ‘cause I’ve got this skillset,” Naoya explained. “I can also tell that pretty much everyone hides how they really feel. They play into people’s expectations to some extent—just like you do.”
Some hid behind the mask of a mean teacher, some hid behind the smiling face of a perfect, popular student, and others held everyone at distance with a veneer of cynicism and irony. Everyone had such masks, multiple facades that they would adapt and wear depending on the situation. Naoya didn’t believe this was a bad thing—it was a necessary skill for getting through life, after all.
“So I don’t think you’re a bad person,” he continued. “The way you act is just another way of living. That’s not a bad thing in the slightest.”
“So why did you tell me off earlier then?” she asked.
“Well, I just figured it was a waste.”
“What was?” Koyuki’s voice was low and sad.
Naoya took her hand in his and clarified, “I thought it was a waste that even though you’re such a good, hard-working person, you give yourself the short end of the stick. People always have the wrong impression of you.”
“I’m not a good—” Koyuki muttered, struggling to make eye contact.
“Do bad people help out their classmates?” Naoya asked with a smile. “You really want to get along with others, don’t you? If you continue to be honest with yourself and others, you’re gonna net yourself so many friends that soon you won’t know what to do with them all.”
“I don’t think there’s anyone who wants to be my friend, though...”
“What d’you mean? I’m right here.”
“You don’t count. You’re a weirdo,” Koyuki spat out with a red face.
Naoya felt that he had spot on in his assessment, though, so he was going to support her and help her achieve just that.
“This isn’t something that really changes overnight, but we can work on helping you articulate your feelings more starting now. I’ll help you as much as you need,” he told her gently.
“Sasahara...” Koyuki trailed off as she started at Naoya. It took her a few moments, but then she nodded in response. “Okay! I’ll show them all! I’ll be so honest! And I’ll never be called ‘The Queen of Thorns’ ever again!”
“Yeah, that’s what I like to hear!” he cheered.
He could tell she was serious about changing herself. When most people are confronted with their flaws, they choose to ignore them and carry on as they were. Koyuki wasn’t like that. Soon, the day would arrive when that unbecoming nickname would no longer haunt her.
And as Naoya thought this, a realization came to him: I really do like her. He could feel that deep within his heart. Naoya had always thought love was just something that would conveniently fall into his lap one day. It took him a while to realize that is exactly what had happened.
“Thanks, Sasahara,” Koyuki said.
“For what?”
“If it weren’t for you, I would’ve continued being the same person I am now, and I know I would’ve ended up regretting all of it later on. I want to let you know that I’m grateful for that.”
“Sure, but I haven’t really done anything,” he replied somewhat awkwardly. Despite his attempt at a natural smile, Naoya was still a bit bashful from his sudden realization.