“Fwah—” That was the timing for a monster to appear in horror films, so Sayuri almost let out a scream, but it was someone familiar to her, so she actually felt relief. Fixing her posture, Sayuri took out her earphones. The music, and the fear, went distant.
“N, mmgh” Startled, her voice didn’t come out properly. Her mouth was also full of gum.
Unable to contain her curiosity, Sayuri wanted to take a look at the playlist of the CD she was just listening to, so she tried to find the terminal attached to her portable CD player (it was just a small accessory that listed all the song names). But, of course, the gloves were in her way, and she couldn’t find it.
Seeing Sayuri move around meaninglessly, the man tilted his head in confusion. “What are you doing, Sayuri?”
Being asked that, Sayuri lowered the mask and spat out the giant wad of gum. Balling it up, she threw it into a nearby silver trash can. She looked up at the fairly tall man from her position, cross-legged on the bench. “I was listening to music,” she explained.
“I can see that,” he answered. “Would you like to go ride something?”
“Do you have one you wanna ride?” she asked.
“No,” he said. “Personally I want to go home already. Diving into the midst of this huge crowd of people, you don’t understand your own position. I’m glad that we’ve gotten to meet again after so long, though.”
“Sorry for calling you, even though it’s so far away.” Filling in the conversation where appropriate, Sayuri grew a bit lonesome.
He felt distant. Even though she’d known him since they were children, running around on grass fields, and waving sticks around. But both of them had put on years, and built up social fetters called positions— they were no longer able to meet as they pleased.
Adulthood isn’t something people should aspire to. Well, Sayuri was still at an age where society could argue that she was still a child. But she had a job, and was a functioning member of society, and was at an age where she would be disgruntled at being treated like a child.
Her childhood friend, who used to be just a snot-nosed kid, was wearing a suit even in the middle of an amusement park, and trying to look serious. Solemn and expressionless, he was looking down at her, sitting on the bench.
Was this how he normally looked? She was staring at him. The man was squirming and grumbling like he hated it.
“I’ll be in trouble if you keep calling me out so lightheartedly, though,” he said.
“Was I being a bother?” she wanted to know.
“No, the situation over there is looking to be more annoying...” he explained. “Why an amusement park? Why couldn’t we just talk over the phone like normal people, is this really something you have to say in person?”
“They built a new amusement park in this neighborhood. It’s pretty much the same as this one. The place was called Shi-something, that’s why I thought this place would be more free,” Sayuri explained. “That didn’t turn out to be true, but I’ve still never been to an amusement park. Are you not having fun?”
“As always,” he commented, “you’re terrible at talking, Sayuri. I have no idea what you’re trying to say.”
“Um, you see...” She was aware of how bad she was at talking. Reflecting on that, Sayuri listed all the main points of what she wanted to say in her head. It somehow felt like she was being lectured, so she found it hard to speak.
There’s something that she had to tell him. “Um, I’m sorry, but... It looks like I’m pregnant, with your child.” Caressing her belly, Sayuri said that blankly. “Want to get married?”
As soon as she asked that, she got strangled. Sayuri was bewildered; she hadn’t expected that to happen at all. It was painful. It hurt, and she could hear the bones in her neck creak. She wondered why? She had thought he would be at least a little happy.
Sayuri put up too little resistance, and the man started feeling a little ashamed. The power in his hands weakened. And then, abruptly, he backed away from her, as if he had become scared. His fingertips went away.
Coughing, Sayuri finally understood. As she thought, this wasn’t love. That’s why she could never empathize with all the love songs she’d had to listen to.
She was born in a boring town. It was a remote, rural town where everything felt like it was just rotting away slowly. Sayuri was convinced she would walk through life without any major ups and downs. Without anything of particular interest happening, like her mother and father, and their mothers and fathers before them.
Sayuri expected to live like the many people around her that lived in the same town. Forever settled into their remote countryside, and letting the days pass by with indifference until they were old and dried up, and eventually dying. And then her bones would be buried in town, and she would be forgotten forever.
She didn’t really have a problem with that, because this wasn’t a fairy tale; she’d never wanted a life that was stormy and full of drama. Sayuri had never hoped for this, but one day her life had suddenly changed.
Someone, from a TV station in some city, came to visit the town Sayuri lived in. Whether it was for a travel show or a movie, she wasn’t sure. Her classmates were all excited over the unusual and unexpectedly abnormal situation.
Sayuri, herself, didn’t particularly care, because in the end, nothing would change. There’s no way everything would suddenly change over this, as if one were switching channels on a TV. Getting excited and making a fuss will only lead to being tired.
But if one doesn’t socialize at least a reasonable amount, they wouldn’t be able to live in the sticks, so going along with everyone else, she headed for the rubberneckers. They had all come to stare at these rare people, who were from the outside, for fun.
And then, Sayuri got scouted. The camera had just coincidentally caught a glimpse of her, and it was pure luck that the man from the station had brought that back... As to what had happened, she wasn’t sure of the exact details, but some bigwig from the station had set his eyes on Sayuri.
“You’re a treasure,” he’d said. “You shouldn’t be allowed to sputter out in this backwater. Won’t you please come to the city? Let me be your agent.” With words like these, Sayuri was taken to the city.
Sayuri was simply obeying the flow. Both her parents cheered her on, and it had seemed as though the entire town had gathered together to give her a push forward. They hoped for her to be a force for change, a bridge between the city and their rural town, which was gradually getting even more rustic.
She caught the eyes of one person, and was saved from a boring life in the country. Sayuri knew what her classmates thought of that: jealousy, envy, and other muddy emotions were all pointed at her... Sayuri’s choices had all been taken from her, and in reality, it was a huge annoyance.
Sayuri had lived an indifferent, ordinary, daily life: Helping around the house, working at a store, stocking shelves, and taking calls... Having trifling conversations with the occasional window shopper. Those days crumbled in the blink of an eye.
Under the all-out production efforts of the TV station, Sayuri became an idol. Her style of living, her entire life, changed all at once, and she could no longer go back.
She had no idea what was what, but no one would give her, Sayuri, the answers or the peace of mind she wanted.