“...Hmm?” Suddenly, I realized that I could feel someone’s gaze on me. I wonder if that creepy TV girl is watching again from somewhere?
Looking around restlessly, I saw it; from a ways away, someone was beckoning to me. It seemed to be a mascot, which are common in amusement parks. It had a peculiar design, and I couldn’t quite tell if I had seen it before or not. I couldn’t figure out what kind of animal it was designed after. A bear? dog? cat?
Anyway, for a while now, it’s been beckoning to me. I was strangely curious, and felt like I’d seen it before— that gesture, anyway.
“Hey, that mascot, what is it?” I tried asking, but Utena had fallen asleep, so there was no response. She’s really got guts doing that in this situation, I observed. Or rather, she really is a child who just does what she wants. If she gets sleepy, she sleeps.
When it didn’t seem like I’d get an answer from Utena, Torii replied instead: “If you’re curious, you can go take a look... For now, we should stay in eyesight of each other, though. Oh, but it might be dangerous, and Utena-chan fell asleep...”
“Okay,” I said. “Torii-san, please watch over Utena-san while I’m away.” I just can’t help being curious about it, so I decide to head over to the mascot. There’s no way that it’ll suddenly bring out an axe or something and attack me with it. Probably. Well, there’s no way I can say for sure here, but if it seems dangerous, I can just run away. At the very least, I think it’s a better use of time than sitting here and watching Utena sleep.
We’ve grouped up by chance, but it’s not like our fates are one or anything. It’s not like they’re family, or even friends. There’s no real reason to stick together at all times. It’s just that they’re the only ones I can talk to in this mystery park... I am thankful for their existence, just because they’re people just like me.
“Torii-san...?” Making sure that Utena was completely asleep, I asked Torii a question that had been bothering me for a while because I thought this was a good opportunity. “Torii-san, why are you so...uhh...nice, to Utena-san?”
“What do you mean?” she replied. My question was phrased badly, so Torii didn’t seem to get it. Scratching my head in thought, I realized that I still had my bandana on; its familiar feeling was, somehow, out of place.
Taking a deep breath, I asked again: “It just seems like you’re being bullied by her.” It was a pretty famous story in our school. Utena is the princess of our school— no, our entire town. No one can oppose her. If Utena says something is white, even something black would become white.
And that girl is bullying Torii. Because Utena’s surroundings harmonized with her, she had an entourage that also surrounded Torii and pushed her around regularly. Her personal belongings would also be stolen and hidden, and her desk graffitied on. Torii was also subject to being made a fool of and abused— the slander would make one’s ears bleed. All that made Utena happy, and she endorsed such behavior.
At least, those were the rumors I’d heard and they seemed true, based on what I’d seen. In our school, it’s common sense. There aren’t any students who would have memorized the school rules, but at some point a different set of rules had popped up among the students, and everyone knew the reason why. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be able to survive in the microcosm known as “school.”
That’s why there was no choice. My childhood friend, Kousuke, who had also become Utena’s flunky, is also probably complicit in that bullying. I’m just a little saddened by the fact that a guy who I kind of liked and played with a lot in the past is now nowhere to be found. Although it was only a little, I lost “something I liked.” It’s that feeling of getting frustrated at being helpless, like the world has just been dyed a little blacker.
But that had nothing to do with me. I had to stay unrelated to that stuff, see no evil hear no evil. Right now, though, in this strange place, I had no choice but to interact with Utena and Torii. I can’t ignore them, and without making sure of various things I can’t make a move, either.
Is it true that Torii is being bullied? If so, how bad is it? I have to find out. If I stay ignorant and keep interacting with them, I’ll probably get caught up in some catastrophe.
I’d like to avoid that.
Is it right to fall in line with Utena, and bully Torii myself? Or should I protect Torii from Utena, and work up some friendship with her? Or should I stay the course, keeping a certain amount of distance between us, all while pretending like nothing is happening?
I can’t calm down if I don’t figure this out. If I could just find my position in this hierarchy, I could stay there peacefully till the end of time. As it is, I’m writhing in this uncertainty.
“Bullying... Oh, so that’s what you think this is.” After a large gap in the conversation, Torii finally opened her mouth. She made a face that said Utena is asleep, and there’s no one else to answer, so I guess it has to be me.
“That’s not it,” she continued. Like a ghost without a will of its own, she spoke like this was somebody else’s problem. “Utena-chan, you see, she’s probably...just scared of me.” Torii’s bangs are really long, so they cover both her eyes. That’s why all I could see of her face was her mouth. It looked like she was smiling, but her mouth was just a little crooked, so I couldn’t really tell if she was actually laughing.
It was like an emoji. Her laugh was like someone just adding “lol” or a fun emoji at the end of a chat message. On the other side of the screen, the person could be grinding their teeth in hatred for all you know.
“That’s why she’s so desperately trying to erase me,” Torii explained, “and make it like I never existed. What a stupid, no, what a sad girl. Get involved with me, and all that will be left are scars. She doesn’t know that. Hey, do you understand what I’m trying to say?” Torii softly brushed around the sleeping Utena’s eyes. Like she was shielding them from the world. “I won’t let her run. Only her, I will never let free... So that every morning, when she looks in the mirror, she will think of me. I’m going to brand myself inside of her,” she said. Her laughter sounded like some sort of code.