“No, it’s not that I’m angry.” Misaki extended her hands, as if to cradle my head. “This is your third time coming here.”
All the sound in the world seemed to stop. The flowers behind Misaki’s back swayed, and a kite flew overhead, but I couldn’t hear a thing.
“That can’t be…”
Misaki shook her head, smiling close to tears.
“I could never forget seeing you again! If I came here before, why didn’t I stay? Are you telling me that I went back without you? That I left you here?”
Misaki nodded, hanging her head.
“But why…?”
Yet as soon as I said it, the truth hit me. I may not have been able to remember why, but there was only one reason I would have left without Misaki. She nodded, as if she knew what I was thinking.
“Yes. Last time, and the time before that, you left, saying you were going to fix whatever was happening in my village. That you’d put an end to it, so that I could go back as well.”
“How could I be so stupid…?”
I had made the same promise twice, only to completely forget my promise both times. If it hadn’t been for that letter—a total coincidence—I would have never even found my way to Misaki’s village. Meanwhile, she had been waiting here all that time.
“I’m sorry that I didn’t say anything. I was scared. Scared of running from that village to be happy while so many others were still left behind and scared that you would hate me if I ever told you the truth. That’s why I went away.”
I gripped Misaki’s hand. I could feel the hard sensation of the ring on her left hand.
“Misaki, I finally found your village. We freed the children trapped underground and contacted the police… It’s all over now.”
Misaki untangled my hands and put her arms around my neck.
“You did so well. Thank you, you really did so well.”
“So you can come home now, then. Right? Everything’s okay now.”
I could feel Misaki’s moist breath on my cheek.
“I’m sorry, Daigo. But I can’t anymore.”
“Why…?”
“I’ve been here too long. And even if I could back, there’s nothing anyone can truly do about that god. It will always be there. I know I would still be terrified of the village’s god. I know that I would come back here again.”
I could feel Misaki’s warmth moving away. She smiled, the same face I had seen countless times in my dreams.
“The god of this mountain only hides those who wish to be hidden. That’s why you can go back and I can’t. Because I’m weak.”
“What am I supposed to do, then? Now that it’s all done, how am I supposed to go on living without you?”
“That part will come with time. Everyone forgets, little by little, consigning the past into memory.”
I couldn’t even reach out for her. I shook my head. Like a child.
“There must be so many more villages out there like mine. If you meet anyone else out there like me, would you help them for me?”
Misaki smiled. This must have been how she had looked when she had sent me off last time and the time before that.
“You’re not weak like me, Daigo. You’re strong.”
“I’m not strong at all…”
The wind howled. I could see a black shadow, like a phantom, beyond the lotus fields. Even if I wanted to stay, what about Miyaki? I lifted my face.
Misaki nodded as if she understood, stroking the back of my hand.
“Take care of yourself, Daigo.”
“…I’ll see you soon, Misaki.”
Misaki smiled. For the first time, there was no shadow in her smile.
“Dummy,” she said.
The wind ceased.
I could hear the trees rustling. I was standing on a sloping road in front of an abandoned train station. It was already dark. The trees spread like a canopy overhead, with no clear border between the woods and the sky.
“Miyaki!”
As I turned around, I found Miyaki standing there, unfazed.
“What is it?”
A piece of drawing paper that had the words DUE TO, THIS LINE, and HERE written on it fluttered on the trailing links of the reddish-brown fence. What was I so worked up over? Nothing had changed since the last time we were here.
“It looks like it’s gotten dark. Not that we have anything to show for it… Ugh, look at how dirty I am,” Miyaki said as she stretched. The hem of her suit was caked with mud. My hands were also filthy with dust, as if I had been digging through old archives.
“Maybe we should try to wash up; the sign here says it’s a hot spring.”
“And get burned again? No, sir, I haven’t forgotten what happened this morning,” Miyaki joked loudly.
I grimaced. Torii pillars were sticking out from a clump of sediment piled atop the abandoned tracks and road. Everything was the same as it was before. And yet something seemed different. I had a feeling I had just walked past something very important without even noticing it.
We began making our way back down the hill. A wooden enclosure that had once been a footbath sat beneath the remains of the station roof. It was full to the brim with mud and wet leaves.
“In the end, we couldn’t find any trace of the people who disappeared, let alone anything that indicates a divine incursion. There doesn’t seem to be any suggestion of organized crime going on, either. Maybe everyone was just raptured.”
“Speaking of rapture, we actually passed a village on the way here called Kamikakushi,” Miyaki pointed out.
Kamikakushi—to be spirited away by the gods.
“That’s a bad omen,” I noted.
“Actually, not really.” Miyaki walked close to me, her shoulder next to mine. “Apparently, the village was named that way because a lot of Christians used to live there clandestinely. It seems they chose the name themselves to reflect their wish that officials wouldn’t find them there.”
“I didn’t realize you were so knowledgeable.”
I suddenly felt a drop of water on my cheek, even though it wasn’t raining. A warm sensation lingered as the droplet trickled down my face, absorbing the dust and grit before spilling from my chin, leaving behind a single clean track in its wake.
“Katagishi…”
I brought a hand up to my face as Miyaki stared. My face was wet. The water had come from a spot just above my cheeks. But Miyaki didn’t ask why; she just clapped me encouragingly on the shoulder.
“Ouch.”
I wiped my face several times and began walking again. While that ridiculous idol with its white veil stared down at us from the mountain, far overhead.