The girls, each adorable in her own way, looked around for the fortune-teller.
Zenitsu’s eyes focused entirely on them, but his expression was devoid of its usual lechery. He was as pale as a ghost, his face stiff, a cold sweat on his forehead. Tanjiro noticed a curious clacking sound and wondered about it before realizing it was Zenitsu’s teeth chattering.
This is bad …
“Zen—” Tanjiro started to caution him.
“Eeeeeaaaaaaaaaaah!” The scream that escaped from Zenitsu’s throat sounded like a chicken being strangled.
All eyes in the area immediately turned toward them. The two girls in question gave a little shout and dashed away as fast as they could.
“See! You hear that?!” Zenitsu yelped. “See! It’s gonna come true! They said she’s never wrong, didn’t they?”
“Get ahold of yourself!” As Zenitsu threw his head back like a shrimp, Tanjiro held Zenitsu and slapped his cheek hard. He’d only meant to snap Zenitsu out of this fit, but he let out another scream.
“What? Why are you doing that?!”
“You have to calm down!” Tanjiro said.
“I can’t! And also—ow!”
“Don’t let a little fortune beat you, Zenitsu.”
“It’s no use! I mean, those girls said so! I’m going to die! I knew it. I’m going to die! Today! Wee hee hee hee!” He laughed creepily in his great terror.
Tanjiro was at a loss for what to do, and Inosuke broke his silence to click his tongue.
“Tch! Pathetic. Both of you underlings.” The boar head leaned in closer. “C’mon. So now it’s not just Monitsu, but Soichiro too? Did you not actually listen to what the old hag said?”
Tanjiro raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean, Inosuke?”
“This ‘trouble with women,’ means a guy gets in big trouble when a girl falls for him, yeah?”
“Yeah.” Tanjiro nodded. “I’m pretty sure that’s what she said.” She had said that fortune was written on Zenitsu’s face.
“You think anything like that’s coming for this guy?” Inosuke asked. Both Tanjiro and Zenitsu contemplated the assertion in stunned silence.
“Bunch of hooey,” Inosuke declared curtly. “No doubt about it.”
After a moment’s hesitation, Tanjiro nodded. “Makes sense.”
“So mean!” Zenitsu cried, practically shedding tears of blood. “Both of you are being way too mean! And like, what?! You’re saying I’m not hot? That no girl could ever fall for me? I mean, Inosuke’s one thing, but even you think that, Tanjiro? Acting like you’re the good one?! Arrrrrrgh!”
“No. I mean, that’s not what we’re—” It was hard to finish that sentence. Unable to actually tell a lie, Tanjiro interrupted himself, flustered. “Anyway,” he continued cheerfully, “let’s hurry back to the Butterfly Mansion.”
Shinobu was there at least. If Shinobu gently coaxed him with something like “A fortune? Don’t let it get to you. Don’t worry about a thing like that,” Zenitsu would relax. And before long, the day would be over. Once tomorrow came, he’d forget all about the whole incident.
“Absolutely not!” Zenitsu said, as if something had snapped inside of him. “Not the Butterfly Mansion! Tanjiro!”
“Why not?” Tanjiro was baffled. He never dreamed Zenitsu would object to this. “What’s wrong with the Butterfly Mansion?”
“You—! You really don’t get it?! There are six girls in that house! You hear me? Six! Shinobu, Kanao, Aoi, Kiyo, Sumi, and Naho!” Zenitsu counted them off on his fingers.
Tanjiro still didn’t know what Zenitsu was talking about. Inosuke also stared at Zenitsu with a look that said, “What is with this guy?”
“What does that matter, Zenitsu?” he finally asked.
“What happens if love blooms in one of their hearts?” Zenitsu spelled it out for him. “What if one of them comes to me with her arms open? I’ll die, won’t I? And it’ll be so awful for her too! I mean, I’ll have died because of her love, okay? It’s just too terribly tragic!”
Tanjiro still didn’t get it.
“Same old creepy little jerk.” Inosuke muttered next to him.
Tanjiro was at a loss for what to say to his poor friend.
“I’ve decided,” Zenitsu said, sounding strange, “I’m going to avoid, avoid, absolutely avoid girls all day today! Tanjiro, Inosuke! You have to protect me so that no girls fall in love with me! Okay? You’ll protect me with everything you’ve got, right?! I have to stay alive for Nezuko’s sake too!”
“Let’s just leave him here,” Inosuke said.
“No.” Tanjiro sighed. “We can’t do that.”
Their words didn’t reach Zenitsu. He was undoubtedly thinking about something to do with Nezuko. He shed hot tears at whatever poignant scene he was imagining.
Watching from the side, it was pretty creepy.
“Okay, we go dump him somewhere.”
“I told you, we can’t go doing that, Inosuke.”
“It’s all right, Nezuko! I won’t die on you! I just know I’ll live through this crisis and make you the happiest girl alive! Don’t worry. Marry me!”
Zenitsu clenched one hand tightly, utterly absorbed in his own delusion, and ignored Inosuke’s biting words and Tanjiro’s troubled face.
“Good afternoon!” a woman called out with a cheerful smile when they entered the building.
“Oh!”
Tanjiro had led his friends into a cafe along the road to appease both Zenitsu, who refused to go back to the Butterfly Mansion, and Inosuke, who had declared his hunger. But as soon as they were inside, Tanjiro knew he had made a huge mistake.
Why are there only women in here?
Because this was a stylish cafe in a big town, its seats were mostly filled with girls. All of these beautiful young ladies, decked out in their finest, were looking at the Demon Slayers. The smiling server wore a Western-style white apron over her kimono. With smooth black hair tied neatly, she turned gentle eyes on them.
“How many in your party?” she asked, and as feared, Zenitsu clutched Tanjiro’s arm with one hand while he held the worn paper charm from the old woman tightly in his other hand, and began to tremble.
“Eeeeeeeee!” he squealed in a threatening manner.
“Eep!” The woman’s smile froze.
“Please excuse him.” Tanjiro stepped up to bow and apologize.
“R-right this way, then,” she said, her voice suddenly an octave higher, and led them to a table in the back. She was so frightened that she didn’t even notice Inosuke’s boar head.
To Zenitsu in his current condition, however, her terrified mien appeared as that of a young maiden excited and bashful before him.
“What am I going to do oh no what am I going to do what am I going to do what am I going to do?” he muttered. “What if she falls for me … ? What if she falls for me … ? What if … ?”
“Zenitsu,” Tanjiro said.
“Haah hah! Haah! Hah! Haah fwoo! Hah!”
The heavy breathing, the excessive sweating, the constant shaking—it was all over the top, and Tanjiro could feel the tension radiating off Zenitsu’s body. The panting and the sweat on his palms were particularly incredible.
“Hey, Zenitsu. Can you calm down just a little bit?” Tanjiro aired his complaint in a gentle tone, but Zenitsu’s hackles still went up.
“Don’t tell me what to do!” he snapped. “You’re fine with me dying? Doesn’t matter to you if I’m gone from this world? What kind of a friend are you?”
“That’s not what I meant. Of course I’m not fine with you dying, Zenitsu. It’s just, you don’t need to be so afraid,” he said, reassuringly, but his words failed to reach Zenitsu.
“What am I going to do what am I going to do?” He trembled and shook.
Troubled, Tanjiro glanced at Inosuke, who snorted in an “I told you so” kind of way. “I knew it,” he said. “We shoulda tossed him somewhere.”
“Don’t say that,” Tanjiro replied. “You’re supposed to be the boss here, right, Inosuke?”
“Wellll. C’mon, Monitsu, here we go!” Suddenly in good spirits, Inosuke whapped Zenitsu on the back. “I’ll keep you safe. I’m the boss, after all.”
The table the server led them to was in the very back of the cafe, in a corner far from the other tables. The space was otherwise bright, but for some reason this spot alone was dimly lit, the air stagnant.