Shut up! I didn’t do all that for your sake! I did it for Sayuri! Although it was Gramps who actually defeated the demon, okay?! Dammit! It’s even worse that he’s not some half-wit brute and seems like a really good guy. Curses!
Zenitsu hid the lilies behind his back, weeping tears of blood inside.
“Zenitsu … I, um.” Tears spilled from Sayuri’s eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
Zenitsu was too overwrought to respond to her heartfelt apology.
“I … I really am sorry.”
The sound of her tormenting herself was agonizing.
“Sayuri. Be happy,” he told her.
“I will.” She bowed her head over and over again, crying all the while.
Finally, the couple returned to the village, leaning into each other.
Zenitsu watched them go with a smile.
“Sob! Sob!”
Once he was alone, the tears welled up in his eyes. Through blurred vision, he stared absently at the flowers he’d picked to give to Sayuri. The yellow lilies. In the language of flowers, they meant “cheer” and “falsehood.”
Grah!
In his tortured state, he raised his arm to throw them down onto the mountain path. And then stopped. He fought to hold back his tears as he sensed someone nearby.
At some point, Jigoro had come to stand beside him. He made a strict and scary, but still gentle, sound.
“Um.” Zenitsu nervously opened his mouth. “Gramps. I—”
“You idiot!” he barked, and Zenitsu flinched. “How many times have I told you, and yet here you run off from training again? And why are you dressed like this? There’s ugly, and then there’s ugly!”
“Eeep! I’m sorry!”
“Honestly! Having a fool for an apprentice is taking years off my life,” Jigoro muttered with a sigh.
With nowhere else to go, Zenitsu shrank into himself.
“But you’re no ordinary fool,” the older man continued.
“What …”
“You’re a massive fool.”
Zenitsu clammed up and grew even smaller, while Jigoro’s voice grew just the slightest bit softer.
“You’re a massive, kind fool, you are.”
“Gramps.”
Zenitsu lifted his face in surprise, and Jigoro placed his hand on Zenitsu’s head. It was a large, rough hand. The hand of a former Hashira that had annihilated demons and saved many people. This was the sort of hand Zenitsu had always dreamed of having. The strong and kind hand of a man he looked up to.
“You didn’t turn your back on that girl,” Jigoro said. “You didn’t give in to your fear. You fought well.”
“You were the one who saved me, Gramps,” Zenitsu said dejectedly. “I was too scared to do anything.”
“What is wrong with you?” Jigoro asked, exasperation in his voice. “You think I defeated that demon?”
“Huh? I mean, didn’t you? While I was unconscious, you—”
“You’re the one who killed it, Zenitsu.”
“What?” Zenitsu looked bewildered, unable to process the words coming out of his teacher’s mouth.
Huh? What’s that mean? Gramps defeated that demon. Why’s he saying I did? Huuuh? Zenitsu’s world turned upside down for a moment, but he then realized Jigoro was probably talking about Zenitsu’s spirit.
I didn’t run away from the demon, so Gramps rescued me. He’s saying that’s the same as if I killed it myself. Is that it? That’s definitely what he’s trying to say, right? I mean, Gramps. He skips over all the details. It’s hard to get what he’s even saying. After convincing himself that this had to be the truth, he nodded in agreement.
“Zenitsu,” Jigoro said to his apprentice. “You know what makes a good swordsman?”
“Huh? Being strong, of course. Like you, Gramps,” Zenitsu replied immediately, and Jigoro flushed just a little.
He cleared his throat. “So then, what do you think you need to be strong?”
“Huh? I … I mean,” Zenitsu stammered.
“Kindness,” Jigoro announced meaningfully. “Kindness makes a person’s heart tougher than nails, tougher than anything. A sword swung for the sake of someone else is the strongest sword in this world. That’s what you need.”
The old teacher’s eyes, which normally only raged at him, were unfathomably kind now as they settled on this unworthy apprentice.
“No matter what else is going on, you turn your heart toward the weak and be their shield. It’s because you know weakness yourself that you can do this.”
Zenitsu’s throat and eyes were suddenly hot, and the inside of his nose throbbed, leaving him unable to respond.
“So long as you don’t lose that kindness, you’re bound to become a great warrior.”
“Gramps …” Tears spilled from his eyes. “I … I …”
Zenitsu sobbed, and Jigoro gently stroked his yellow hair in silence.
That day, too, a crescent moon had sat in the sky above them.
Sayuri, I hope you’re doing well.
Zenitsu narrowed his eyes happily as he looked out at the yellow flowers swaying in the breeze. He felt a slight tugging on his sleeve and looked down to find Nezuko’s unhappy face. That brought him back to himself.
“Oh, sorry, Nezuko!” he cried. “I’ll make that crown right now, okay?”
“Mmf!”
“To apologize for getting distracted, I’ll make you the most beautiful flower crown, okay?” he said, cheerfully. “I know. How about we make one for your brother and that idiot Inosuke too?”
Nezuko smiled happily. “Unh!”
“Ha ha ha!”
Her smile made Zenitsu smile too. He was certain that Sayuri was living happily ever after somewhere with that kind boy of hers.
Zenitsu was a far cry from the strong swordsman Gramps had told him about that day. He was a weak crybaby, scared of everything, and he ran away all the time. To be honest, he didn’t know whether or not he was even kind.
But someday … For sure.
Vowing this in his heart, the boy plucked the most beautiful flowers in the field for his darling girl.