“Let’s skip the annoying speeches. Cheers to Ms. Kanae!” Tengen Uzui cried. Glasses clinked together across the table. It was only Thursday, but the popular pub, about a ten-minute walk from Kimetsu Academy, was jammed with drunken customers.
“Thank you.” Kanae stood. “As many of you know, Kimetsu Academy is my own alma mater, so it’s exciting to start work here as a biology teacher. I’m still new at this, so I would very much appreciate your guidance.” She bowed.
Sighs of admiration rippled through the group. Kanae’s younger sisters, still students, were all popular with the boys, but in her own day she had been a legend. Adored by girls, boys, and everyone in between, she’d shone like a star. Her male students were sure to have trouble concentrating on their studies.
Uzui glanced around the table as he sipped his beer. It was no surprise that the male teachers were captivated by Kanae’s every movement, but the women seemed equally entranced. The other day, the morning assembly at which she’d been introduced had erupted in chaos. A certain member of the disciplinary committee had gotten a little too excited about welcoming her, and everyone cringed at the whimpering noises he made. One of the gym teachers had brought a fist down on his head, and two of his friends had dragged the unconscious committee member offstage.
And now this gang …
History teacher Kyojuro Rengoku had polished off a few rounds and was shoveling sweet potato rice into his mouth with noisy relish. Math teacher Sanemi Shinazugawa was drinking beer like it was water and lecturing his younger brother over the phone about his poor grades. Uzui sympathized with the boy on the other end of the line, no doubt trembling on his knees. Gyomei Himejima, homeroom teacher to the first-year Takenoko Class, gazed at Kanae like a proud parent. He’d been teaching at Kimetsu since her student days and was clearly still protective. Gym teacher and disciplinary committee advisor Giyu Tomioka grabbed another handful of appetizers as he tilted his saké cup back. He was silent, but this didn’t necessarily mean he was in a bad mood. It was just that he couldn’t talk and eat at the same time.
Uzui rolled his eyes. None of them were exactly saints, but he could see why they’d been assigned to Kanae’s table. With all of them distracted in their own ways, though, it was left to Uzui to keep the conversation going.
Fortunately, Kanae was an ideal listener. No matter what he said, she reacted as if she were dying to hear more. But when Uzui brought up the ghost stories circulating among the students, the smile fell from her face.
“There’s a haunted pot in the biology lab?” She cupped her chin in one hand. “And an old man who crawls down the hallway?”
“Don’t tell me you’re scared of ghost stories!” Uzui teased. Kanae smiled back.
“If anything, I rather enjoy them.” Her expression grew serious again. “But if they’re upsetting the students, it’s my job as a teacher to deal with that.”
“Exactly right, Ms. Kanae! I couldn’t agree more!” Rengoku lifted his face from the sweet potato rice. An enthusiastic teacher, he was beloved by the student body and vocal about loving them right back. “If students are having problems, Kyojuro Rengoku can’t sit back and let it happen!”
“Sure you can,” Uzui told him. “Pipe down and eat your sweet potatoes, buddy.”
But Rengoku was on a roll. “We should go immediately—tomorrow night at the latest—and patrol the haunted areas! Who’s with me? Uzui?”
“Don’t look at me. I’m not going anywhere.”
“It’s our duty to keep the peace at the academy!”
Uzui slumped forward wearily. When he got an idea in his head, Rengoku could be a real pain. While Uzui wrestled with the question of how to get his colleague to give up on the notion, Kanae raised her hand.
“If you don’t mind, I’d love to tag along with you two,” she said.
“Hey!” Uzui stared at her. “I didn’t say I was going.”
“Please. I know I can be helpful.”
“I said I’m not going.”
“Together we’ll protect our students!” Rengoku agreed. “Right, Uzui?”
Uzui felt a headache coming on. His words were falling on deaf ears. Rengoku was always off in his own little world, but now it seemed like Kanae was joining him.
At any rate, with two pairs of hopeful eyes staring at him, he felt an itch deep under his skin. It wouldn’t hurt to do a quick walk around, then talk them into going home. There was nothing to see, after all. After an hour or so wandering the empty school halls, Rengoku and Kanae were sure to give up.
“Fine,” he sighed. “We’ll meet in front of the school gates at eleven-thirty tomorrow night.”
Rengoku and Kanae both beamed.
“Yeah!”
“Thank you.”
After replying with a perfunctory “yeah, yeah,” Uzui turned his gaze on Himejima, seated across from him. He wasn’t expecting much of an outing, but it couldn’t hurt to bring someone sensible along for the ride. “You’re coming too, right, Himejima?”
“On the night watch?” Beneath his muscular exterior, Himejima was surprisingly soft-hearted. He looked up from his cup of hot saké, a tear trickling down his face. “I wish I could join you, but I’m out of town tomorrow, and I don’t know what time I’ll be back. Gotta say no this time. Sorry.”
“Bad timing, huh? How about you, Shinazugawa?” Uzui shifted his gaze to Himejima’s right.
Having just finished his call, Shinazugawa tucked away his phone. He scrutinized the group through his unruly hair. “Huh?”
Even at school, Shinazugawa refused to wear a tie and kept his collar wide open. The younger students burst into tears at his mere approach, and even older kids flinched at his voice and his intense stare. But he was kind to those who needed kindness, and generally only lost his temper when he had to deal with the ape Tomioka or when someone insulted his beloved mathematics. Still, he wouldn’t button his shirt for anyone or anything, including weddings and funerals.
“I know you were on the phone, but you heard us, didn’t you?” Uzui said. “We’re patrolling the school tomorrow night.”
“Nah, can’t do it.”
“What is it? A girl?”
“I’m not a horndog like you.” Shinazugawa snorted in annoyance. “Friday nights, Mom has overtime. She’ll be working late.” He’d be going to her workplace to pick her up, or else he’d be at home babysitting his younger siblings. Shinazugawa’s father had died when he was young, and his mother had sacrificed a lot to raise seven children on her own. Now that Shinazugawa was an adult himself, his heart and mind were focused on supporting her.
“You homebody,” Uzui teased.
“Shut up.” Shinazugawa turned away with a sneer, but everyone at the table looked at him warmly.
“That leaves Tomioka.” Uzui turned to his own right. “What do you say?”
Up to that point, Tomioka hadn’t spoken a word. He swallowed his appetizer. “Uh...”
“If you don’t have plans, you’re coming with me,” Uzui said.
With a gut full of sake, Tomioka mumbled even less coherently than usual. Uzui gave up on the conversation.
A server brought plates piled with chicken wings, fried octopus, and salmon stewed with daikon. At the appearance of his favorite dish, Tomioka’s eyes glittered soberly.