I stayed silent as he walked down the hall, then stopped to look in a mirror with scrollwork decorating the frame. He straightened his hat and the high collar of his jacket, then smoothed a hand down the pinstripe pattern of his pants.
“I’m sorry about this morning.” He gave me a searching look through the mirror, proving that his primping was a facade to cover his nerves. “I shouldn’t have sprung the news of your mother on you so suddenly, and I shouldn’t have hidden the truth from you.”
My stomach twisted. Here Papá was apologizing and trying to mend broken gears between us, and I was about to throw a wrench in it all. “It’s all right.”
He sat on a bench by the door and leaned down to pull on a pair of polished leather boots, then straightened so the brass watch chain dangling from his pocket glinted in the light. “I’m glad to hear it. I love you, Kyra, and I know I haven’t been the best at being open. There’s a lot we need to talk about once things settle down. It will be different once I’m Prime Meridian.”
I sucked in a deep breath. “Actually, Papá, there’s something we need to talk about now.”
“What is it?” He brushed a speck of dust from the toe of his boot.
“I’m not marrying Desmarc tomorrow.” The words came out in a rush as if that made them easier to say.
Papá stilled, as if unable to look away from his shoes.
“It isn’t fair for either of us to go through with this.” I twisted my hands together behind my back. “I thought I loved him, but the truth is, I don’t. I—”
“Is this about that detective?”
I exhaled slowly to push away my frustration at his interruption. “In a way, I suppose, but I’m not choosing Hiram over Desmarc; I’m choosing me over Desmarc.” I tried to still my trembling hands, then I looked up at Papá. “A large reason I agreed to this marriage in the first place was because I was so desperate to get away from you and how you tried to control every aspect of my life.” He winced at that, but I plowed on. “But I’ve realized that I can’t use Desmarc to run away from my problems. I have to face them myself, and that means being honest with you.”
“How could you spring this on me so close to the renewal?”
“I know the timing is terrible, but I just realized it today. Maybe I should have seen it coming, or maybe I did and didn’t want to admit it to myself, but I’m admitting it now.”
Papá let out a sharp breath, his fingers curling into fists at his sides. “We’ve been planning this with Desmarc for months, you’ve been engaged for weeks, and yet you just realized it today?” His voice was tight, controlled, like he was barely holding back what he really wanted to say.
The walls felt like they were pressing in, the ticking of the grandfather clock unbearably loud in the silence. Maybe he was right and I was being selfish. The thought twisted in my gut like a blade. But no—no. I’d spent too long doing what was best for everyone else. Running away or doing what he wanted to keep things easy between us wasn’t something I could do anymore.
My pulse roared in my ears, but, for once, I didn’t back down. “I’m sorry to disappoint you and I’m sorry for hurting Desmarc. That’s the last thing I wanted.”
“And what am I supposed to tell everyone? What am I supposed to tell Desmarc? The wedding is tomorrow!” A vein bulged in his neck as he clenched his jaw and stood.
“You don’t have to tell Desmarc anything. I was the one who agreed to this, so I’ll be the one to tell him when he gets back in the morning,” I tried to keep my voice even, though nerves crowded my throat.
“You can’t cancel now.” He paced down the hall, then spun on his heel to come back.
I flinched away from him. “Aren’t you listening? I can’t marry Desmarc. Even if I still wanted to, he only agreed to keep our engagement as long as I promised not to work with the Blue Capes anymore, but my case isn’t over.”
He towered over me, something like panic and desperation in his expression. “You can’t work with the Blue Capes.”
“I know it’s dangerous, but I can help. I’ve been Slipping, and I can use what I find to help them with the case. I want to keep working on my ability. It’s a part of me, and one that I can’t just ignore and hide from my whole life.”
Papá flinched at the word Slipping as if I’d struck him.
We both stilled, and the moment drew immeasurably long between us.
Papá stood stiffly, and suddenly all I could see were the bags under his eyes and the slight hunch in his shoulders, as if a touch might break him.
He exhaled sharply, his fists unclenching.
I held my breath while hope flickered to life. Maybe this time—like with his platform—he would hear what I had to say.
“After everything I’ve done for you, for our family, this is how you repay me? You’re throwing away your future.” Papá opened his eyes slowly, as if unwilling to face what I was saying.
His words were a gust of wind, knocking into me so my hope flickered out.
“No, Papá. I’m throwing away your future for me.” I thought if I just worked up the nerve to talk to Papá, we’d be able to work things out, but I’d been wrong. We were too different, and we’d let too many things get between us.
“You have to go through with this marriage, Kyra. Everything is riding on it.” His voice echoed in the empty entry hall, the weight of his unspoken ultimatum hanging between us like smoke in the air, making it harder to breathe.
“I won’t.” My voice trembled, but I didn’t back down. No matter how desperate he was, he couldn’t force me.
He slammed a fist against the mirror, and the sound of breaking glass filled the silence between us. My own eyes stared back at me hopelessly from a dozen broken shards. Its fractured surface hung suspended, bearing the weight of my hopes, before the shards hit the floor in a tinkle of shattered glass and expectations.
We stood in silence for a long moment, the air thick with emotion. His chest heaved and my eyes pricked with tears and the broken pieces on the floor winked at me, a sharp reminder of how thoroughly our relationship shattered.
“Gwen never stood for it when I told her what to do either.” Papá turned away and walked to the door, as if he couldn’t even stand looking at me or how much I reminded him of Mamá. The words that should’ve been a compliment somehow sounded negative coming from him. “No matter how long I would wait for her to change her mind, she would stubbornly cling to her own beliefs, no matter the cost.”
I flinched, even though I’d spent my whole life trying to be like Mamá.
“You really are just like her.”
The front door closed behind him with a resounding click, leaving me staring at the swirling patterns in the dark wood, blinking back tears.