“I’ll let your father escort you home,” Desmarc said as he finished bandaging my cheek. His face was a mask of cool indifference, almost as if he were oblivious to the shouts of the reporters and curious gazes behind us. The perfect politician’s mask. But with me this close, he couldn’t hide the tension radiating from him or the stiffness that dripped from each syllable like oil from an old drone. He was upset, and rightly so. I’d carelessly embroiled us in the thick of a scandal a week before our wedding.
“Desmarc, I—”
“Let’s not talk about this now,” he said. “I’ll come over once this mess is under control. You and your father should go.”
“Come, Kyra.” Papá bustled me into our waiting steamcab on the edge of the crowd before I could say anything else, though, in all honesty, I wasn’t even sure what to say anymore.
“Meridian Annandale.” Desmarc inclined his head.
“Meridian Kingsford.” Papá did the same, then climbed in after me.
I winced. We were back to titles instead of names.
Desmarc shut the door, cutting off any chance of reading his expression, and the clack of the steamcab’s wheels on the cobblestones filled the taut silence.
“Are you all right, Kyra?” Papá asked.
“I am.” The words came out more like a question than a statement.
Papá studied me, worry hanging off his slumped shoulders, and his hands curled into fists on his knees. He gave me one last searching look before tipping his head against the wall and closing his eyes. The tension radiating from him told me he wasn’t going to sleep, but he was clearly waiting until we were home, giving me half an hour to stew silently and let my worries percolate.
I rested my non-injured cheek against the window’s cool glass. My heart pounded a bit harder at the sight of the Blue Capes riding hoverbikes on either side of our steamcab—Hiram’s attempt to protect us, no doubt. I forced my attention to the city instead, pushing thoughts of Hiram from my mind. A soaring metallic bridge that crossed over the Steele River glinted in the late afternoon sun, and the gabled roofs and cramped architecture gave way to the large estates of the elites as we made it to the edge of the Tenth Chime. In the distance, an airship floated over the city, its brass and copper detailing flashing in the light as its steam engine propelled it through the air like a ship through water. I bit my lip as I watched it glide through the sky. If only I could soar away from my problems that easily.
If I’d ruined my engagement with Desmarc, would it be so bad? I blinked and looked away from the airship. Even if running away from my problems with Papá wasn’t the right answer, I’d already made a commitment to Desmarc, and I could make this work. I would.
The steamcab rolled to a stop in front of our estate. Papá opened the door and climbed out, then offered me a hand down. He didn’t even glance at the Blue Capes who took up position outside our house. With apprehension dragging at my steps, I followed him up the gravel path to the front door.
“How could you have been so careless?” he asked as soon as the door closed behind us with a hollow thud.
“I was trying to save your life.” I clasped my hands behind my back and glared at the floor, trying not to cry. The polished marble in the entryway, inlaid with brass filigree that formed the shape of gears, glinted at me from the overhead light as if they too were scolding me.
Papá exhaled heavily, then unclenched his hands and walked the space of the entry hall. His shoes clacked against the tile floor and echoed against the tall ceiling. “I’m thankful for that, of course I am. But don’t you realize how dangerous it was? I could have lost you.”
“I could have lost you too,” I said. “I had to do something.”
“It isn’t your job to protect me.”
“It doesn’t need to be,” I cried. “I’m your daughter, and I didn’t want to lose you. Isn’t that enough?”
“No.” His voice cracked the space between us. “Not when it means putting yourself in danger.” Papá rubbed his temples and exhaled slowly, then walked over and took one of my hands in his much larger one. “Promise me you won’t work with the Iron Watch again. We can talk about the rest later, but that, at least, I need to know now.”
I stared into his worried gray eyes. Years of hesitation and fear reflected back at me. He couldn’t order me around anymore if our relationship was ever going to improve, but this wasn’t a battle worth fighting. I’d already promised myself to give up Hiram.
My heart thumped painfully at the thought. As long as I didn’t see him again, these feelings would fade. They’d fade and I could focus on building a life with Desmarc. If he would still have me.
I shook the thought away and folded my arms across my chest. “I’ll promise not to work with the Blue Capes anymore if you’ll tell me the truth about why you’re against them.”
Papá stilled, and the action drew all the life from the room. His expression shuttered, and he seemed to age before my very eyes. “That isn’t any of your concern.”
“How can you say that?” I wanted to scream the words at him.
“Go to your room.” He turned and put his back to me. “You need to rest.”
“No, Papá.” I straightened my shoulders. “Tell me the truth. Why are you always keeping secrets?” His silence only provoked more words, the anger from the last few years and months spilling out of me. “If Mamá were here, she’d tell me the truth.”
“But she isn’t here, is she?” he snapped.
The words were like a slap to the face. I stepped back and blinked at him.
“That’s the most honest thing you’ve said in a while.” I forced the words out through my tight throat.
He shook his head. “I’m the one that’s been keeping secrets?”
I rocked back on my heels. “At least I was trying to help. All you do is lie and try to control everyone around you because you can’t stand the thought of not having things your way. Just like you lied about Mamá’s vault and my abilities.”
“How do you know—”
Tears flowing down my face, I darted up the stairs. My thoughts swirled in a tangled mess that matched my battered body and even more battered heart.
Once inside the safety of my room, I yanked off my bloodstained glove and threw it to the floor. The glow of Mamá’s ring was somehow muted now, as if even she disapproved of what I’d done.
I pulled off my ruined clothes and threw myself on my bed, burying my face in the pillows to cry.
Everything was so wrong now.
A while later, Cogsley came in and wheeled to a stop beside my bed. “You have been leaking.”
A smile tried to fight through the tears but lost. “That’s one way to put it.”
“Can I do something to fix the leak?”
I wiped my eyes and sat up with a sigh. “Sometimes crying is the best way to feel better.”
Cogsley’s engined hummed in thought. “It is a waste of fluids.”
“Even still, sometimes humans need that.”
“If humans could be more like us bots, I think things would be easier,” Cogsley said before adding, “And less messy.”
The sound of a knock on the front door drew me from my bed. My heart leaped at the thought that it might be Hiram.
Hurriedly, I wiped my face and straightened my hair, then Cogsley helped me put on a clean dress and fresh gloves. I descended the stairs, only to stop as the soft tenor of Desmarc’s voice reached me. Disappointment flitted through me, but now wasn’t the time for such selfishness. I tightened my grip on the railing, letting the metal give me the push I needed. Whether I’d meant to or not, I’d hurt Desmarc, and we needed to talk.
I pushed the door open and entered the sitting room.
Desmarc, still wearing the same impeccably stylish suit from when we’d gone to the debate, although it was a bit dusty now, turned to face me. His eyes were tired, as if the last few hours had been unimaginably hard on him.